My heart is breaking for my little gd

Well, our sleepover is past and DGD went home feeling very pleased with herself, she had slept all night without waking! We had an hours's chat and laughter all cuddled up in the big bed then DH made breakfast in bed for the girls!

A happier morning all round.

Oh Katek brings tears to my eye's your little girl will lock these special talks with you away and remember her special times with her nanna.

It isn't much comfort, I know, but it is such a blessing that she has you in her life.

Oh Katek how sad

This is nothing as dire as the loss of a parent but young children really get affected by even small changes etc in ways that it is hard to realise.

My DD had some decorating done to change around two bedrooms for the forthcoming new baby. They went to stay at Mils around the corner for a week as all the furniture ended up in the main bedroom and it was not safe for a toddler. DGS is very familiar with her house but kept wanting to go back home.

He moved into his new room but was unsettled at nights.
Then Sil went to USA with work for a week and one morning DGS had thrown all his toys and books about his room which was very unsual for him.

DD & DGS then came to us for two nights. He was very excited about the idea, but in the end it proved a bit too much and he would have been better staying at home. On the last day I was playing with Dgs and he seemed to get very angry and upset and throwing his toys about. I tried talking to him and he started crying. He is normally a very happy little chap. I am sure now all the changes had just been too much in one go.

I caught up with DD yesterday who said he has been good, but he has been very clingy to his Daddy since he returned. He was told Daddy was in America and could repeat that, but that concept is way to much for a 2.5 yr old to fully comprehend, they do not have the sense of time needed to cope with too much disruption.

I remember something similar with DD after we went on holiday when she was 10 months. She was unsettled when we were away but as soon as we were home she sat in her high chair looking around the kitchen and giggling happily. I am sure she was just very relieved to be back somewhere familiar.

my DD went through similar when my DH died suddenly from heart attack when she was 5. My sympathies to anyone affected by this

Incredibly!

Just having these safe secure loving times with you must be incredible good for her. Its so good she's got you. All good wishes to you all.

Have just read your post, Katek. How good it is that your wee DGD has been able to open up to you like this. It's maybe the first time she's been able to really speak about her fears and feelings, because she may feel it would upset her mum too much if she spoke to her about it? She'll know now that you'll be there for her, and will understand. for you. xx

It is so good that she has you to support her and help her with her anxieties. She was old enough when her DF died to realise and to feel anxiety if she is away from her mummy and to feel it more when she is unwell. I do hope she is able to overcome it with help.

Just keep on doing what you are doing for you GD and your DD.

(((hugs)))

Sounds as if you are doing all the right things and being very supportive.
I have my little GD here tonight and she is not settling, complaining of tummy pains, so I know how you worry

MHP not mph! Predictive text !

Thanks for all the supportive and kind posts. It does help to get things off my chest. We're not sunk in doom and gloom all the time and have lots of good fun as well-it's just when she's like this it brings home-yet again-the enormity of what has happened in her short life. Her Nannie (dad's mum) died just a month ago as well from cancer and I'm sure that isn't helping at the moment - although they weren't close.

She and dd attend a childhood bereavement group which organises all sorts of activities and has volunteer mph on board including child psychologists.

Katek that is very sad. Have you heard of "Winstons Wish" charity for bereaved children. They might help you and her mum to support her.

It was the first thing that came to my mind.
www.winstonswish.org.uk/

((((hugs)))) to your family with this.

You are fixing things for her - no magic wands, but just lots of love.

OH Katek that is so very moving, I really do feel for you, even though this is all heartbreaking and sad I do know that she is very fortunate to have so much love from you when she needs it

What a brilliant job you are doing Katek, helping your DGD to learn to trust life again and what a responsibility it must feel. I doubt that you can get it wrong. She just needs your love and she is getting that in buckets full. It must seem like small steps but I am sure that, with the obvious love that is surrounding her, she will get there.

Poor wee girl. Your love and cuddles will give her much-needed security and when her mum comes back safe and sound, she will begin to realise that she doesn't need to guard mummy all the time. You're doing exactly the right thing.

Poor little thing. Lots and lots of love is the best thing for her. I'm sure you are giving her plenty of that.

So sorry for the situation you find yourself and your family in Katek I myself lost my father when I was 11 and although I was older than your GD it does impact on your life. I didn't have a family to fall back on as your GD has so she is blessed to have you and I am sure you do your very best to support and treasure both her and your DD. All good wishes to you all. You can't "fix it" you can can just be there for them.

It sounds like you have done a good job to me.
The situation sounds very hard on all of you.

I can't even begin to imagine the pain - stay strong and love her all you can ((((hugs))))

Oh heartfelt good wishes to you an your DGD. A difficult and sad situation for all the family. I suppose she has had bereavement counselling? If not I believe there are several charities and organisations that could help he overcome this understandable anxiety.