Bereavement Cards

To my mind there are two scenarios to consider.

One , she is not a particularly as close a 'dear friend' as you think.

Two, is she suffering bereavement and was hoping to extract a hearty conversation with somebody she values as a 'dear friend'? Did she mean something other than coming over as being cross with you, it could be she is sitting at home beating herself up over how she spoke to you!

Just because her MIL was aged, died 18 months ago and she had a tenuous relationship she could still be suffering from bereavement, guilt issues. Maybe you could try to contact her saying how hurt you were over this matter but as you respect your friendship you are wondering if she is OK or needs a chat. If she blows your head off again then I would say you need to reassess the strength of your friendship.

Good luck, I fully understand where you are coming from but taking things at face value can sometime cause us to be hurt for little to no good reason. I would certainly find out rather than let things fester though,.

I usually send one and am pleased when people send them to me but I don't feel that it really matters. I certainly wouldn't take someone to task over it. To be honest whenever we have suffered a loss, I wouldn't remember who had sent one and who hadn't.

The choice was yours not hers and you made a perfectly reasonable one. Do you need this person as a friend?

Dear dear - she does sound a bit touchy. Maybe she feels guilty about her poor relationship with her MIL and is projecting it onto you. I cannot see that you did anything wrong.

I'm astonished that people tot up cards in bereavement terms. And store up resentment. Why not look mildly astonished ? And remain mildly astonished if she brings it up. I tend to write letters as I find the cards OTT when you barely know someone but know the bereaved quite well.

It's not pleasant when someone appears to have been holding a grudge for some time and then tells you.

You did what you thought was right at the time. I'd be very wary of this person in future.

I'm not sure, but I don't think a card was needed here - but I would always write a letter rather than send a card anyway.

No, you didn't get it wrong really, but it has clearly upset her. I wonder why? Is she touchy? Or maybe she has some residual guilt about their relationship and is using this to vent her feelings.