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Children leaving care

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Mishap Tue 17-Feb-15 15:31:34

There was a discussion on Woman's Hour about this this morning. It seems that foster carers can now be paid till a foster child reaches the age of 21, so the young person can remain there; but that for children's homes the cut-off is 18. Happy 18th birthday, now off you shuffle!

There are some provisions for post-care support but they seem to be very variable around the country, and no substitute for what we take for granted.

What is missing for these poor young people is love - unconditional love from their family and place to return to, to be advised and cared for by your family, however old you are - to go back for family celebrations, for Christmas etc. To have that solid sense of continuity, and of a firm foundation.

I felt so sad for these young people and the depth of their loss is hard to contemplate.

Yet another good reason for getting adoption proceedings going as soon as possible after a child is received into care and not faffing around with parents' rights year after year till the child is already psychologically damaged. It is often very clear that the parents are not fit for the job, but it takes a long time to prove that you have gone through all the motions and ticked all the boxes.

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soontobe Tue 17-Feb-15 16:19:14

Except things are not always so cut and dried re a child getting adopted.
Sometimes, a child can be fostered for a while, and can at a later stage be able to go back to a parent. I dont know how often that happens, but it can happen. Sometimes a parent, given time and support, can change things enough.

Great that foster carers can get paid till a child is 21. Long overdue.
I would hope that those in care homes get the same soon.

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nightowl Tue 17-Feb-15 16:47:35

I agree with you about the need of these children for love, and stability Mishap, but there are simply not enough adoptive families or even foster carers to meet the need. And although foster carers can be paid until children are 21, adopters rarely receive anything at all and even when they do it is strictly time limited. Special Guardianship Orders were introduced as another means of providing permanence but again, SGO holders usually face financial losses compared to what they would receive if they carried on fostering. I'm afraid that unless and until a government is brave enough to grasp the nettle and provide proper financial support, throughout a whole childhood, it will continue to be an uphill struggle to find families able to provide the care that these children need. And it can't be denied that such a policy would have significant cost implications that would require public support. Not an easy one to resolve.

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Mishap Tue 17-Feb-15 17:18:42

Difficult indeed; and nothing can take the place of the love of a family.

My experience with the care system is that the social workers bend over backwards to try and create a situation where a child can remain with their birth parents; but I do think that sometimes they are flogging a dead horse and the child's interests are not always best served by the delays that this involves. The older the child gets the less adoptable he/she becomes and the more likelihood there is of disturbed behaviour. Adopters are always keen for babies and less keen on children who have been in the care system for a while.

In the main children are fostered prior to adoption, but this period needs to be as short as possible.

These children need love and security above all else and the care system finds it hard to provide that. The sooner they are adopted into a stable family who will go on loving them till they are 20, 30, 40, 50 + the better.

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