Friends

Yes I like that - there are friends out there we have yet to meet.

I have friends that are long lasting, friends that are no longer with us, friends who have simply drifted.

Whether or not I still see them today is not worth worrying about, after all it's a two way contract to keep a friendship circulating. What is worth thinking about is the good times, the love and support we gave to one another and know that they have not drifted because you separated on bad terms but simply because your lives took different paths.

It's a joy to know that I will find good friendship with people I have yet to meet.

My oldest friend is coming to stay this weekend. We met almost 40 years ago then she moved north and I moved south. I'm so looking forward to seeing her and catching up.

I've several good friends I've never met. And one lovely person I know through GN and have met up with several times.

Mrs Retiredguy is the one for friends.
Although we've recently moved 100 miles away on retirement she still keeps in touch and visits when she can plus two of her chums have been here to stay over.
I have many acquaintances but no really close friends as such.
Used to have drinking buddies back in the day but packed in drinking some years ago so the pub's out.

I have two very close friends neither live locally. One I have text chats with two three times a week the other I may not speak to for weeks but it's always as if we spoke yesterday. We are completely in tune with each other and can chat to each other about anything I know I could ring either in the middle of the night in a crisis without a second thought.

I saw this on FB and sent it to my friends.

A good friend knows your stories
A best friend helped you write them.

I have one really good friend; I love her dearly and know it is reciprocated. We met thirty odd years ago on a course and clicked immediately. We can (and do) laugh a lot, and - recently - cry a lot too, as she sadly lost her DH last year. She accepts, and lets me bang on about, the things I do in my spare time which she considers to be rather strange. I accept that she is teetotal, tech phobic and (grudgingly) a better cook than me! Unlike me, she has a wide circle of friends, which has been a life saver for her. I have people I occasionally spend time with. When DH was in the Army we made a lot of good friends that we have seen consistently down the years, including his best man, although they all live in different parts of the country. Sadly, they have dwindled to a handful over the years and I know that my husband feels this keenly. Unfortunately, it always seems to be the blokes that go first. If I felt lonely, I would go out and join something. He's not a "joiner" and does not know anyone locally. I hope we will have each other for a long time yet, but who knows?

Oh I have one just like that and I have found the best thing is only to see her in the company of others. One mutual friend is so much braver than I am and will change the subject mid monologue.

I know what you mean Falconbird. I have had many conversations where I have said 'How are you and how is the family' and they go into every details of their lives and what's going on with children, grandchildren, the family budgie etc and then say 'must go'. I feel like saying 'Helloooooo I have a family and a life too'. Serves me right for asking I suppose! Fortunately the people that matter most are not like this.

My bestest friend is a member of Gransnet. We love each others company, always want a cuppa a the same time and can talk to the cows come home. I just wish she was nearer to me. I love her company, her sense of humour and she is always up-to-date with stuff. And she is clever and sensible. And she got me to join Gransnet - so how clever was that! We have been mates for nearly twenty years.

I realised long ago that I was a listening friend. I am always there for friends with problems but this is not always reciprocated.

This is hurtful at times but I've learnt to accept that this is the way it is for me.

I like FB and have a few really nice "friends" on there.

My best friend in all the world, died in 2012. I could ring her at any time and vica versa. Miss her lots.

I found out at an early age that I was a listening friend and that's all good.

Love Gransnet because Grans respond to problems and although it's not exactly listening - it's taking the time to discuss at length.

Cuppa anyone.

My brother has become my best friend. He has always been there for me but more so of late. I have even been awful to him and told him to stay away due to being depressed but he has still turned up and made an effort to make sure I have been ok so I am truly grateful for that and we have become really close because of it.

I have a good friend who I see after gaps in time and it is like we were together yesterday. We can text each other and take up where we left off. She has been my friend for over 35 years and her even going with the boy I liked as teenagers didn't break our friendship. Some things are more important than boys.

I don`t "look" for anything from friends, I`m just so pleased to have the very few friends that I do have, plus all you virtual friends, who are quite often priceless.

Oh Galen I've just seen your comment and it really made me laugh.

I envy those of you who have sisters! My sister in law is the nearest I get and we are quite close! The people I rely on most are my brother and my daughters (after DH, naturally). Outside the family, I have one really close friend, of 35 years, who would do anything for me as I would her and a few who are close ish!

Like vampireq and littleflo I have never had any real friends. I have acquaintances, and DH and I occasionally meet up with his Best Man and his wife, but I wouldn't class them as friends either. I am close to my two sisters and my children, and that is enough for me.

We have moved around a lot, and as a result I have found it hard to keep up as well as I should have done with some of the friends I made in each place. Also, when you move, some people seem to take it badly and blame you - even if it is your OH with itchy feet making you move. I have three good friends who I can still contact and visit without prior notice - I take that as a true sign of friendship. No matter what they are doing I can just turn up and they are pleased to see me. As I only go down to that area to deal with my mother, I don't have much spare time for visiting so tend to drop in if I have ten minutes top spare on my way home and try to call on each in turn.

I have lost so many good friends, so has DBH, recently. All in their 40s, all dying of either cancer or heart attacks. It's been dreadful over the past three years. Yet another is doing his best to die and give his sister, my best friend, her very own heart attack in the process.

My village friends are amazing. I have struck gold here. I can call on several people here and know I will get help for anything at all. No, more than several, probably a dozen. When a friend had a hip op recently she was literally overwhelmed by the care she received.

Both DH & I have our own friends that we socialise with separately that we have met mostly through work or clubs etc.

I also have three friends from secondary school days, that DH knows too. I keep in touch with via FB and also I meet up with every so often. We share history and also some shared values/attitudes. All four of us ended up teaching. We don't socialise as couples.

Another gang are friends (and their partners) that my OH knew from his schooldays and we were all mates in our late teens /early twenties. One couple from this group were our best man/bridesmaid. Our lives have all taken different paths but when we meet up (2/3 times a year) we pick up where we left off an have great get-togethers. Sadly one of this group died at Christmas. All the 'lads' were his pall bearers.

Another group are people we got to know through one couple who, initially we baby sat for when we were students as the man was my DHs lecturer! We see them very regularly for meals, theatre, film walks etc and also often holiday with them.

I don't have a sister but I am close to one of my cousins. We both had two daughters over a five year period and spent lots time together when they were small. We live reasonably close to each other now and call on each other when we need emotional support or just a bit of a girls night out!

In the first 25 years of our marriage we moved a lot (Army) but still have a few friends with whom, when we meet up, it seems is if we have never been apart.

When we settled in Kent we made many new friends, and once more, when we moved here, there are some we see often. You keep the friends who want you and whom you need, I think.

And here - same again, I feel, but mingling our friends with DD's circle and, of course, there is always Rotary..

I have some good friends who I value very much. But, over the years I have been dropped by a couple of people who I considered good friends and who I helped when times were tough for them.

This has always puzzled me? I can only think that when they were on their 'ups' again that they were embarrassed that I had helped them?
Has this happened to others?

Gransnet is a daily chat with people who are like friends. x

Liz46 I've got a lump in my throat over your last comment. My best friend of 26yrs may be seriuosly ill, and comments totally unconnected raise their head to drive it home to me that we might lose her. Since she came into my life I have gained an awful lot from her in more ways than I can quantify. These are for you

I don't actively look for qualities in other people - it doesn't take long to know whether I feel relaxed in someone's company and they are easy to talk to, and that to me is the most important thing. I couldn't be friends with someone who I was struggling to make conversation with.
Whether a friendship develops depends on several things - common interests, proximity etc.
Friendships that survive the tests of time and distance depend on how much both parties value that friendship.
I've just come back from a day's walking with one of my dearest friends, who I met on our first day at grammar school in 1960. Our friendship has survived going to different universities, me living in Hongkong for 11 years, her living in Canada for 10 years, different family situations (she has no children and I have 3) and we now live 50 miles apart, but we meet now we're both retired about once a month and don't stop talking all day

Well there is always one

Galen i was going to add that, but I didn't want to lower the tone.

I keep a homemade card pinned to my fridge, which I received a few years ago. On it is written "A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the loveliest things you can be".

I like that expression of friendship - open and simple.

Many of my friends are very different from me in their interests and beliefs but I value them all very much and they make me feel valued too.

I think what makes a true friendship is the ability to strike the right balance between speaking and listening but also to understand the times when it is better to listen more and speak less. I feel more interesting, likeable and confident (and happier) in their company - and I hope they feel the same in mine.