A four line poem

And now let's raise the tone I say
for 'tis the start of a new day
Let's do away with this crescendo
of rudeness, smut and innuendo!

I've had 4 goes
Got nowhere fast
Can do 2 rows
Oh damn and blast!

Are you rude?
Am I a prude?
All of this
Before I've pooed

Dead
Thread?
Back to
Bed

Before my muse
Starts to unravel
Let's raise the tone
Above the navel

Without a doubt
You lot are funny
Let's publish these
And make some money!

I have to say at break of day
That I think our Soutra's right
Maybe we should save our smut
For writing late at night!

Sorry, if I have caused offence
I really didn't mean it

My mum would fill my mouth with soap
That would really clean it.

Apologies.

I do so love this silly thread
It's why I venture from my bed,
It makes me happy, makes me giggle,
And another chance to mention "PIDDLE.".

Today I will be very good,
I'll iron the clothes and fetch the wood.
I'll wash the dishes and sweep the floor,
And eat the rest of DH's chocolate and hope he doesn't notice.

Oh darn! It nearly worked.

I woke up early Feeling sad
With a really aching belly
Now I don't feel quite so bad
Thanks for the laugh, lovely Nellie

Good morning, good morning to you all,
The fat, the skinny, the short, the tall.
I'm drinking my coffee and watching the rain
Wanting to go back to my bed again.

I'm off just now to do my bit
To try and get myself quite fit
First fitness class of the year-
This doesn't augur well I fear

But Ariadne you live in Devon
Your rain is probably pretty as heaven.
You should try a bit of ours
Nothing worse than berkshire showers.

Old age wears you down and bends your back.
What was once taut, now becomes slack.
You find life’s rewards no longer enthral,
And your normal pace is down to a crawl.

It's time I got up off my arse,
And did some useful work at last.
So 'bye for now my lyrical friends,
I will look in later to see how this ends.

Dear oh dear, how bleak and sad!
Old age isn't all that bad.
Have a laugh, join in the fun
And "read" the smiles of everyone.

AND (for jingl)

The rain has gone and blue is the sky,
The sun might even shine!
Dammit, my conscience is saying that I
Should get the washing on the line.

I’ll leave this world as I came in, on my own.
Where I’ve come from and go to, is unbeknown.
I'll have to die to find out what’s lying in store.
What’s on the other side of death’s dark door.

I ain't going anywhere fast
I'm loving my life, long may it last
Kicking my heels, dancing a jig
Definitely no time for being a prig

Tell a joke
Tell a riddle
But don't laugh too much
Or you'll need to piddle

Time to get myself in gear
I've lots of things to do
I could sit here and laugh all day
I'm sure you all do too.

But life's to short
To only work
So today I'm going to
Learn to twerk

Lucky young lass is our *Littleflo,
She has managed to go go go.
She won't need no fybogel today,
I will swig three sachets and pray pray pray.

That's not true btw!