Worst Christmas present?

DH did consider buying me a replacement car bonnet from a scrapyard to replace the dented one (a pheasant flew into it)
My sister not so tactfully told him what she thought I'd think about it!

So I got nothing!!

It wasn't the worst present I'd ever received but it was amusing in its way.

Mum was working as a cleaner for a very rich woman in a very affluent part of town.

On my 18th birthday the woman turned up with a small parcel. It was a small glass candlestick - they were everywhere at the time, sort of chunky circa early 1960s and you can still buy them.

I said "thank you very much" and put it on the sideboard. The woman was disappointed and sort of angry and kept saying "I'm sure you like it, isn't it pretty. I'm sure you've never seen anything quite like it?"

I didn't have the heart to tell her they were on sale everywhere including the local Ironmongers and cost about a shilling if that. The same lady was amazed that we studied French at my Comprehensive School and that council tenants paid rates.

My worst Christmas present was not having one bought me.

My husband said he had forgotten.

Two immediately spring to mind: a cut-glass (mass produced, not quality) peanut dispenser in the shape of a fish with an open mouth. The idea was that you tipped peanuts into your hand instead of everyone's (grubby) fingers dipping in and out of an open dish. It was hideous and was only used for the Christmas that my mother bought it for me and stayed with us. The second daft present was a shoe shine kit bought for my DH by my DB and SiL. A little round tin with brushes, polishes and duster. He was a milkman who spent his life in trainers. Shoes that needed polishing were only for weddings and funerals (very few and far between in those days!)

My ex husband once bought me long handled shears so I did not have to bend down to cut the edges of the lawn when I was pregnant! Also he once bought me a coat from a catalogue which was much too big. He returned it but did not order a replacement!

Anyone's grandchildren had 'Penguin Race'? 3 little penguins climb steps, slide down and return to the beginning accompanied by a mind bendingly annoying, repeated tune. They are mesmerised by it and it is one of those toys where the battery never runs out (no off switch). Add to this the Elsa doll which also sings 'Let it Go' in Spanish and the snooker table, permanently set up in my living room (click, click, click). Sometimes I wish I was more than 'slightly' hearing impaired!!

When I was into photography I made one of my prints into a calendar to go with my grandma's xmas presents. I sandwiched it in between a couple of pieces of corrugated card when I wrapped it, and when she peeled the wrapping paper off, she looked at the card and said:

"Ooh that's lovely dear, just what I've always wanted".

I have to say I hate waste so have re-cycled some unwanted xmas presents to people I know would appreciate them i.e. scented candles (which just make me cough) but never family to family only to work colleagues etc.
Three years ago DH and I were watching tv and I happened to say I didn't see the point of a George Foreman grill. I think he must have misheard me because that is what I got for Christmas. Anybody want one??

My son gave me enormous heavy art books every Christmas for years, I do like art but these books were huge and I used to dread the sight of an enormous parcel, wrapped in christmas paper, which was unmistakably yet another art book. I had a pile of them next to a book case because they were too big to fit on the shelfs.

At last I had to say something but didn't want to upset him so I sent him an e mail on the run up to Christmas suggesting some gifts his old mum might like. I even told him where they were on Amazon.

It worked - I had a purse, a paperweight and a wooden box for holding tissues and no more huge art books which I lugged to a Charity Shop.

When I was caring for my mother which was tiring as I could never switch off a person brought me a 1000 piece jigsaw!
What chance did I have to do a jigsaw???
I gave it to the charity shop.

When I was about twelve i gave my mum a chip pan for Christmas. She was not impressed! I actually thought she'd be pleased. Her worst present to me was a shoulder bag when i'd asked for a record player.

The most tightfisted Christmas present I ever had was two of these from my mums partner.

A one-size fits all Mankini (one of those awful things worn by Borat). I'm undecided as to what to do with it and equally unsure why my wife's best friend gave it to me. Your input would be appreciated what should i Do?
1. Bin /charity shop.
2. Put in on and take a selfie to make a calendar for my wife's friend.
3. If it can be secured wear it when she comes round, not a pretty sight.
4. Keep it for a secret Santa next year.

Caution says option 1, devilment option 2 or even 3. Would any of you ladies buy such a thing for a male friend and what would you hope they would with it.

annsixty my mum always called them napkins too. When she left school in the early 20s she went to work as a maid of all work in a house where the cook had previously been in 'good service' and I think she often used words that were more upstairs than down. The jelly in trifle debate was also settled for me by cook.....'sherry upstairs, jelly down'. Hope you can understand my ramblings, not very good at explaining!

One Christmas my MiL gave me a pair of oven gloves and an apron because she thought 'you might find them useful sometime'!

My family in Australia give out joke gifts at Christmas Day supper, the last time I was there I was given a broomstick! I did ask if they expected me to use it to fly back to UK!!

Thank you Marmight I just knew someone brighter than me would come along and put me straight

Serviette - a French word - towel and from the verb to serve. Napkin - a baby's nappy. I know which one I prefer to have on my lap/round my neck!
For the first Christmas after she was married, DD received an evening bag from her MiL . It had a stain on it and had been used by MiL at a wedding the month before - how to win the confidence and respect of your new DiL

An update to my OP, I went to babysit last night and found the On/Off switch on the Elsa doll (thanks to POGS and Ana, it was on the lower side of the torso, not really where you'd look).
The relief on the faces of my ds and dil had to be seen to be believed

I wander in my thoughts (not unusual) isn't serviette an odd word and why are napkins not called lapkins as that is where they go? Back to the thread.

For Christmas 2000 I received 'a little gift' from a friend of my aunts, we had included her in trips out and she had always enjoyed everything we did. 'Given with love and gratitude' (her words). A box of Harvey's Bristol Cream liqueur chocolates, expiry date....April 1999 and a packet of 20 serviettes, to welcome the Millennium. Auntie and her DF both long gone but I still have the serviettes. Sadly the chocs had to go, they really were past their 'sell by date'.

A fly tying kit, now that I can't see well enough to tie my shoe laces, never mind tiny fishing flies! I now have to buy a very big magnifying glass to go with it. My first effort at tying made DH laugh so much he fell off the sofa! My feelings were only soothed by the two bottles of Moulton Brown shower gel I received from my daughter.

One year I gave a friend a little porcelain pin-tray that I'd bought at an antiques fair. The following year I got it back, wrapped in the same paper - which was a bit crumpled... !

Has anyone had a problem NOT receiving a posted christmas pressie? Initially I felt a bit miffed that maybe my DIL decided not to send anymore (she was married to my late son) so when she texted to say HNY, I couldn't help but added into my reply that I was a bit disappointed that neither she nor my grandson had sent a card. This prompted her to tell me that she had indeed sent a parcel on the 16th including cards and gifts for other members of the family, local to me, and was very upset that it hadn't arrived. I checked out my collection office to no avail so now she has to do the same her end and fill in any forms etc. this is not the first time this has happened with posted items between her area and mine, plus my daughter has also had problems, again at my DILs end of not receiving what was sent from a different area. It does make me question the integrity of PO staff.

My brother once gave me a roll of gift wrapped black bin bags. In his defence I was involved in a long fight over a landfill site planning application at the time and this was his idea of a joke. He also gave DH a Santa suit one year as he couldn't think what to buy 'the man who has everything'!