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Grandfather rarely sees his Granddaughter who lives nearby

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mcleod123 Mon 22-Dec-14 15:12:02

My partner is just back home after seeing his granddaughter for the third time, she is nearly three.
He has not had a fall out with his daughter but she refused to acknowledge his text messages asking to meet up and discuss what has happened to their relationship.

He spent time twice, including today, seeing the child when she was in the care of his son. The other occasion was at his mother's funeral.

His daughter brought R... to the funeral when she was only nine months old. We were delighted to see them both as his daughter had not visited her gran for well over four years.

My partner and his ex divorced because of her adultery when their children were in their teens. She left home, husband and her kids but now they are closer to her than their dad! I feel for him he is a good man.

He was radiant when he returned from his visit and the pride and love in his eyes when he showed me her photos could not go unnoticed!

He has not had any acknowledgement to cards or gifts of money he's sent to his daughter over the last few years. He is going to bank some money every Christmas and New Year for his granddaughter.

A double whammy is, I was unable to have children, obviously I don't have any grand children of my own.

It is a heartbreaking situation. I feel he is being humiliated by his son, as he seems to be in control of when his father can see the child or not. His sister and the baby live with him since the daughter split with the father of R... I don't know whether the other set of grandparents or the father of R... see her or not.

I get upset for both of us and don't know how to deal with a situation like this.

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Grannyknot Mon 22-Dec-14 17:52:09

Hi mcleod and welcome if you're a new Gransnetter.

I don't have any easy answers, there never are any in a difficult situation like this one - but I do wonder, if your partner is happy with what contact he does have with his granddaughter, and returns radiant and proud, isn't that enough for you for now? I'm perhaps being clumsy in how I express this but if he isn't resentful, then could you just be happy for him and keep your thoughts to yourself, instead of getting upset for both of you.

It seems that you are sad too that there are no offspring - including grandchildren - from your relationship. I'm sorry that causes you pain.

flowers

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Mishap Mon 22-Dec-14 17:53:18

I am glad that the visit went well and that your partner has at least had this opportunity to see his GD. Take heart from that.

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vampirequeen Tue 23-Dec-14 08:23:26

Teens and young adults find divorce much harder to deal with than little ones. My girls were 17 and 21 when I finally escaped and even though I was the innocent party throughout the marriage they sided with their dad. I like to think it was because I protected them so well from the monster that he was but I think it's more likely that he was able to manipulate them in the way the way he manipulated me.

This is probably what's happened with your partner's children. Their mother has manipulated them and turned them against their dad. All he can do is keep trying to chip away and hope that in the end he can form some sort of relationship with them.

I did that with my girls and although they still pay more attention to their dad they've come around to the idea that maybe I had no choice when I escaped.

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glammanana Tue 23-Dec-14 09:27:07

How lovely that your OH has seen his DGD specially at this time of year and that it has lifted his spirits,as said above manipulation may be the key to the problem but at least the door is open for other visits in the future,the little one is old enough to remember these visits so don't be disheartened in any way at all.

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