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Christmas Crackers

(89 Posts)
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vampirequeen Mon 01-Dec-14 09:12:21

Yay!!!! December is here!!!!

I'll post a cracker of a joke here everyday to make you laugh/cringe grin

Here's today's:

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

grin

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vampirequeen Thu 04-Dec-14 18:57:11

tchgrin

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rubylady Thu 04-Dec-14 17:59:02

What is Santa's cat called?

Santa Claws.

What is Santa's dog called?

Santa Paws.

(sorry, ill, but still trying smile)

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henetha Thu 04-Dec-14 10:01:14

Why do elephants all have grey trunks?
Because they all belong to the same swimming club.

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vampirequeen Thu 04-Dec-14 09:52:47

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

tchgrin

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shysal Thu 04-Dec-14 08:29:51

How does an Eskimo put up his decorations?
Igloos them on.

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Grannynise Wed 03-Dec-14 23:13:55

I made crackers and put miniature bottles of spirits and liqueurs in them for the adults. That seemed to go down well .... hic.

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vampirequeen Wed 03-Dec-14 18:55:30

I am soooo loving these jokes tchgrin

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rubysong Wed 03-Dec-14 18:52:11

Why are teddy bears never hungry?

Because they are always stuffed.

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janerowena Wed 03-Dec-14 11:44:54

grin

I have some perfume samples already! Excellent idea.

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shysal Wed 03-Dec-14 09:49:27

tchgrin

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jinglbellsfrocks Wed 03-Dec-14 09:38:05

here

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shysal Wed 03-Dec-14 09:33:37

What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle.
tchsmile

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vampirequeen Wed 03-Dec-14 08:36:42

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

tchgrin

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Kiora Tue 02-Dec-14 18:20:39

A grin from me

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vampirequeen Tue 02-Dec-14 18:20:00

grin

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Elizabeth1 Tue 02-Dec-14 18:18:09

Ha ha ha very funny I like it elegran

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Elegran Tue 02-Dec-14 09:37:08

How does Santa like his pizza? Deep and crisp and even.

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vampirequeen Tue 02-Dec-14 08:55:08

Rosesarered ....tchgrin

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can 'ho ho ho'!

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shysal Tue 02-Dec-14 08:47:07

perfume samples
This sort of thing makes a suitable cracker gift for adults (male options available). I have previously used finger torches, Lego mini figures, socks, pants, travel sized toiletries, lip balm, macaroon shaped candles, and hair accessories, to name but a few.

What did the guests sing at the snowman's party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.

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rosesarered Mon 01-Dec-14 21:30:10

Did you know that Santa was dyslexic? He keeps signing his letters 'from
Satan' ...... boom-boom! tchgrin

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Ana Mon 01-Dec-14 20:12:21

Think mine would be the same. Whereas, if there were Wade Whimsy 'Frozen' characters...tchhmm

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rosequartz Mon 01-Dec-14 20:08:53

I could do that, but the DGC seemed a bit underwhelmed when I gave them to them, and I daren't collect any more myself, DH would put me out into the garage, complete with Whimsies.

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Ana Mon 01-Dec-14 20:05:50

Have a look on ebay for the Wade Whimsy characters (much cheaper than the crackers!) and make your own. tchsmile

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rosequartz Mon 01-Dec-14 20:03:36

Oh Yes!! They still do them! Oh No - the price shock

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rosequartz Mon 01-Dec-14 20:01:37

I used to love the crackers with the Wade Whimsies in them, I did manage to find some once when DC were young but I doubt that they still do them now.

Have given my Wade Whimsies to the DGC sad - they will probably not treasure them as much as I did.

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