Limerick writing Mark 4 (animal, vegetable and mineral)

But the surgeon's a gannet

The seagulls are considering rhinoplasty

The seagulls have pinched my meat pasty

It's only the geese who are slimmer.

Or maybe some peas

The mice just eat cheese

Oats and carrots in a bucket-a winner

The reindeer have eaten their dinner

(Elves are "animal", right?)

And the elves are cackling Hee-hee-hee-hee

I think we have got a bit lost in this limerick as we are trying to finish off the last line with something that rhymes with tree or tea.

Up the West End there's treasure galore

With a subtle whiff of old manure....

The stable waits all secure

The reindeer need a pedicure

Let's all relax with a nice cup of tea

The tinsel is glittering on the Christmas Tree.

And gave their forks a good buffing.

They're just for the muts.

Said "Let's have some nuts."

(pedantic version)

Said "Lets' have some nuts"

Vegetarians gathered, all huffing

The turkeys eyed up the stuffing

And those pesky turkeys just keep griping.

Tin drums in a tizz