feeling lonely quite often

I would never have recognised the Maltese in her [although I tend to think of them as being white I suppose].

A huge bunch of too Tee time, it's not nice at all to feel lonely. But please chat to me anytime you like.

Thank you for your kind comments and words, they mean a lot to me. My little doggie, Maggie (after Maggie Simpson, not Thatcher!, lol) is a Yorkshire/Maltese cross. Very strange that she came out black with a white flash on her chest, although her twin was the same. The rest of the litter were Yorkshire terrier colours, very tiny. She is only 12" long from back of head to tail now. She does look like she is smiling on that picture and I have it framed. We should have a thread of putting our pets on, maybe for those of us who don't see our DGC it might help?

Teetime.

I can't make out what your little dog is, ruby; her face reminds me of a little Griffon Bruxellois/Yorkshire Terrier.

Tee time

I feel lonely all the time these days.

rubylady you look such a lovely lady, you shouldn't need to feel so lonely, it's not right. You have my sympathy and good wishes. Let's hope that by reaching out to others, as you say you have done online, you will find some who may become true friends to you. I love the little pics of your dear little dog, such a cutie, with her head on one side! (his head?).

Do go back to your GP and discuss your medication - you have nothing to lose. for you and all the other lonely people out there x

What a cheeky looking little dog, she's gorgeous rubylady. It's no wonder you love her so much, those bright 'knowing' eyes.

Hang on in there, you're slowly but surely inching towards, even if there are ruddy speed bumps at times.

to all you lonely GNs x

Lovely photos rubylady. What a sweetie your dog is. I do think you should go back to the GP and ask about your tablets. It is difficult when you are feeling down to think positively but things will get better and you will feel happier. You are going through a bad patch along with many others on GN. Keep posting on here. Pop into Soop's kitchen for comfort and some laughter. Hope you feel better

Thank you Falconbird and Crafting. It has been another hard day today even though I had my cleaner to chat to for a while. I tried to upload my photos but got stuck on a page I couldn't clear and had a mini break down. I sat and cried. I worry about this because I do feel that once I start I won't stop. My son came downstairs and got the page back on and so I was determined to do it myself as he has said before that I have to learn but he won't teach me so I got a book off Amazon and a card reader and went ahead and managed to upload some photos. I have put a few on here of me and my doggie, take a look if you want.

I also uploaded one to a dating site and to a friends site, just to get used again to talking to adults and not teens. I know we chat on here but here we can be truly open and it's different when starting off new friendships. I want here to be where I can say what I truly feel but I don't want others knowing all my business so I want to learn a bit more about having a friendship but keeping a bit of myself private too if that makes sense. I've always been too open a person I think and so get hurt very easily.

I am going to phone the docs again tomorrow and ask about my referral because nothing has come through yet and it's been a few weeks now. I will ask to see him again too. I have been on anti-depressants for a good while now so maybe a change of tablet might help.

I wish you all well and keep your chins up.

I have been a worrier and anxious all my life. I have stated to take antidepressants (not for depression but for a totally unrelated matter) and have found it has made a considerable improvement to my mood. Perhaps a visit to the GP would help you.

I do so sympathise rubylady.

My Dh passed away nearly 3 years ago and my life began to fall to pieces. I'm picking myself up now but it's been a steep learning curve. That feeling of not being able to hand worries over to someone else is one of the things I miss most.

My grown up sons were so used to life being one where they had a mum and dad together was changed overnight to one where they only had mum. A different, scary sort of mum who was crying and lonely.

The situation now is I still help them at lot but they will only help me in an emergency - at least I think that's the new scenario. I know they are frightened of the new life they are faced with and feel uncertain how to communicate with me.

I hope the counseller will help rubylady. I've been to a few and it's great just to be able to talk. Did your GP recommend any tablets to help lift your mood.?

I have joined lots of groups and that does help because I meet other women who are alone and are coping. I find them inspiring. I love your name. I had an auntie called Ruby and she was a wonderful role model for me but she did change after my uncle died and she was on her own.

Let us know how you get on - thinking of you

Sorry to bring back an old thread but goodness, I have felt lonely today.

It's like an ache inside and I even asked my son to come and keep me company but he was too busy chatting to his girlfriend online to do so. He did shout downstairs to get myself a friend. Charming.

I have my cleaner coming tomorrow, but it's not like a friend, is it? I know, I should be going out and meeting more people. But when I have had friends, and lots of them, in the past and now I have none as they have all deserted me due to my depression, how do I trust someone again? How do I get over the feeling that whatever time I am going to spend with them will not eventually be wasted? I was trusting my brother again and he has let me down again recently so another smack in the face.

I am waiting for a referral to a counsellor from my doctor so that I can get all this out and sometimes I feel fine and then other times I feel awful. I take myself to bed then and hide. I just want someone I can trust. Someone who doesn't depend on me, who I can lean on a bit and feel can take the pressure off my problems. I never had that when I was married. I did have it with the relationship after my divorce and I really miss it. Not the relationship as such, but the feeling of being able to hand over worries and know that someone else cared too. Even through a breast lump scare. He was a genuinely nice man.

My ex next door neighbour was apparently a friend. So she thought. She was having an affair with a married man, had been for over 20 years. I didn't consider her much of a friend if she could do that to another woman.

I'm taking myself off to bed, night.

alternativegran thanks for that. I agree about lack of space on an Ipod. I've used my little 8gb one for about 5 years now on the edge of full. Earlier this year I bought a 16gb one and found myself deep in the stew of transferring music, trying to run two Ipods on one machine and other trials of modern devices! I've got an Ipod Nano (both) and I use the newer one for the radio mostly, the reception is excellent.

rubylady glad you have found Meet Up useful, it really does offer opportunities. Thanks grannyactivist for that Web of Loneliness link. I'm not sure I've got time for another forum but there is a lot of interesting information about loneliness there. I was especially interested in the page setting out different types of loneliness, I'd never thought about it that way.

I feel that my life is changing quite a lot at the moment with my youngest child finishing university and starting work away from home and my husband having a last go at earning (running a consultancy) while I tip towards wishing I could retire and live by the sea! I'm one of those who's always had a small circle of friends rather than dozens and as they move away or take up new careers or 'return' to work, I often feel lonely now even though I've got lots to do. It's the sharing of life that's important I think.

onmyown. Another passive activity that wiles away time - if you have an iPad - is playing 'words with friends'. It's very similar to scrabble and a free app. I play with a couple of friends and it can be picked up and left whenever. There is a 'chat' facility too and also you don't just have to play with people you know. Keeps your brain oiled too!!!

Anniezzz09 - My library does ebooks but not audio, I have taken out a subscription for those, they can be downloaded onto an ipod but even podcasts take up a lot of room if you forget to delete them regularly. My friend listens to audio books on her phone I listen on an ipad by my bedside and hope that Apple will eventually bring out an ipod with more capacity.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who's Ipod has become an essential part of going to bed! I find podcasts a brilliant way of whiling away the small hours and I often drift off before the end. Radio 4 has huge numbers of fascinating ones and ITunes has others plus books you can download. One friend is able to download books from her library for free. I am very hazy on the detail of this but it's worth investigating if that appeals. Happy snoozing all!

Onmyown - I have an ipod, I use it during the day sometimes whilst doing housework, gardening etc but it comes into its own at night when I listen to podcasts as I don't have to get up and turn it off, there are also speakers on the market that go under the pillow.

Send me to Pedants' Corner for that first sentence. And apologies to CAB for not mentioning the very satisfying 11 years I spent as a volunteer adviser.

The past 15 years has been such a period of change for me. First of all, redundancy, only 18 months before my retirement age; re-training to teach ESOL; retirement from local politics; downsizing; birth of my four younger GC; crumbling joints needing replacement; other health issues; great holidays too. And I have been single since 1986. But my two sons are 100% supportive as are their partners and my senior GD. Unfortunately, I don't live close to them. I have re-discovered the NWR, have joined and organised their book group and joined the U3A, co-ordinating the writing group. I probably still spend too much time sitting on my backside and what do I do then? This! Gransnet has given me companionship and also some really good friends. I enjoy a bit of controversy and certainly get it here! Or I can just turn my back on it if I want to. Long live Gransnet!

That is so good to hear, Nansy! I do remember your first posts -good for you.

And yes -welcome onmyown and Tracker99.

Thanks, Nansy, your posting puts my situation in perspective.

I also have lots of happy moments and I totally agree when you say "I can please myself where I go, what I do, what and if I eat."

And I have been a cheerful bunny for most of my life. But my original posting was part of admitting consciously to myself for the first time that there have been times in my life when I have been lonely and never known what to do, except wait until I get back to work, visit my family, and so on. Now I don't have those options, and like you, I am also, generally, much happier.

But what to do with the empty weekends or the two days in the middle of the week when I have nothing planned. Finding Gransnet and that original posting have been part of dealing with those lonely days - and yes, its getting better every day - partly because yes, Gransnet is becoming an interesting and understanding bunch of people I can talk to and listen to. (At last) So thanks to all of you out there .

Nansy Good to hear you've found happiness in your freedom.

A couple of years ago, I found Gransnet a life saver. I was so unhappy whilst my 40 year marriage disintegrated. It was great to find somewhere to put how I was feeling into words and I found lots of virtual friends to 'listen' to my woes. I'm have now been on my own for 9 months (with my 2 cats who are also indispensable sounding boards!!!) and am so much happier. No more living in dread of what the day will bring. I can please myself where I go, what I do, what and if I eat. I do go to the W.I. An aquafit class and a sewing class, as well as being responsible for 2 of my grandchildren once a week. I didn't see my ex for 5 months but with the encouragement of GN went to my granddaughters birthday where I knew he would be. I was really glad I did as it broke the ice and I have bumped into him several times and whilst being sociable with him, do not wish I was still with him. Yes, it can be tough on your own but I felt on my own whilst still with him. There's a lot to be said for freedom.