GS moving out

Can you not give him something very special belonging to you both that he could care for you? Children used to take something to nursery which belonged to home. I've forgotten what it was called. Or a budgie or a goldfish. Or get him special duvet cover to make his new room his den. He will settle in.

If he is still coming round after school the move might not feel as bad as he thinks, but short of you being as encouraging as you are I cannot think what else to suggest.

What does your daughter think about his reluctance to go?

You could perhaps keep some of his favourite stuff at your place but after all this time you might have been looking forward to getting some clutter out of the way.

Ha ha you are so right Nellie, I was looking forward to some space but in the interim I have said he can keep his bedroom as it is with stuff he wants in it and stay over some times. My DD is very excited as she is desperate for her own place but she is worried about his reaction. He and I are very close as I child minded him from age 6 months, and then he moved in at two and a half so it is going to be a massive life change for him.

I find that a lot of boys really don't like change (obviously practising to be husbands) I agree with Nelliemoser that you should keep some of his stuff. Make it feel as if he's now got two homes instead of losing one. If your daughter is working full time he will presumably still spend a lot with you so hopefully it won't be too upsetting for him.

Deedaa you put it so well, especially the 'husband' comment. My two eldest DGC have lived between 2 homes since they were toddlers. The are completely at ease with having two special rooms to call their own. Also he will still see a lot of you. Maybe do a scrap book or similar about the move.

A good idea would be for your DD to encourage GD's school friends round to his house even having the odd sleepover. No spare beds needed, they love sleeping bags. I hope he settles quickly into his new routine.

Is there anything he can do at the new house that he can't do at yours?
Idea off the top of my head - could he have a pet hamster / gerbil at his new house? (e.g. He can't have one at your house because of the dog.)

I was thinking of that, Starling! What about a kitten or cat? They sleep all day so it wouldn't matter if it was alone during working hours and it would give him something to love and tell his troubles to.

As it is, he's a lucky boy to to be able to keep his room at granny's and he knows he has a bolt hole. I'm sure over the coming months he will work out his own routine. How far away is the new house?

Children are very adaptable. Stop worrying.

Change the subject when he starts worrying about it to make it clear that its happening is incontrovertible and he doesn't have a choice. I'd hazard a bet that part of his worry is reflected off the adults around him. Just play it as something that is going to happen and no big deal.

It works.

PS Good luck

Oh nanapug, our lives to seem to follow the same pattern! Dd has stopped staying here overnight during the week as her lovely bf and her have moved in full time together into her house. Dgs, as you know has been with me everyday since 3 months old. He is starting at my local primary school on Thursday! He keeps telling me that my house is his house as well, and the family house, so we have decided that every Wednesday he and I will have a sleepover, he is keeping his bedroom here and this seems to have allayed his fears of not being here fulltime. He already has plans of what games, what we will eat etc on a Wednesday! Let's hope that the next time we have a coffee together both boys will be more settled with the new arrangements. [Flowers] x

For a short time my grandson had four beds - he would boast of this. His father was working away from home during the week until they could move nearer, so there was a bed in his crash flat occasionally for DGS as well as his normal room at home. He had a bedroom here, and a bed in our holiday cottage. He went happily from one to the other with no problems.

Your GS knows that you and his bed at your house will not go away, they will be there for him still. If you treat it a small change in a detail of his life, he will accept it as such. If you get anxious about it, it will seem to him that there is a reason for him to worry.

It's good to hear that you DD has worked really hard to achieve where she's at now and it obvious it's been with your support. Bet she is looking forward to the independence and challenges ahead where she will take on a new life. It shows the confidence she has gained since being divorced and good luck to her. Your dear GS is still a child and will adapt just as thatbags said and with two strong women to guide him (he is one lucky boy) Leave your fears behind and enjoy this transition it'll be good for everyone.

It's funny isn't it how they appropriate rooms. DGS's don't often stay over but nevertheless when our nephew and his wife and new baby visited last week, he proudly took them on a tour of the house and announced 'Uncle P this is my room, but if you want to stay, I'll lend it to you'.

Awe MiceElf how lovely was that.

Sadly it is a rented house so no pets, which would have been a good idea as he is a real animal lover. He is going to take over the garden, under my guidance, as he loves gardening and it is only a pocket handkerchief so that is good. I know he will be fine once it is done and dusted but I don't like seeing him sad. He did say "you will miss me won't you nana?" so I said "yes and no. I will miss you but we will see lots of you so it will be fine, but I won't miss you because I know it is the right thing to do as Mummy wants to make a lovely home for you and her which all Mummies want to do so I will be happy knowing that" That seemed to help him understand why it was happening and he is now being quite a bit more positive.
Lindylooby I cant wait to meet up again soon for a chat to share our stories. As you say, yet again our lives run in parallel xx