What is the 'meanest' present you ever received

I had very eccentric in-laws and my first visit there (before we were married) was at Christmas. We were both students and I put a bit of our small resources aside to buy a present for both of them.

When we presented them, they looked a bit nonplussed and shortly afterwards my MIL grabbed her (used) bright red nylon fur mittens off the piano and said "Here, you can have these." And FIL went upstairs to his bedroom drawer and brought down a pair of his pyjamas and gave them to my OH!!

The Xmas fare was a tiny chicken with no additional trimmings, and, having made a big pronouncement that she had made an Xmas pudding, my MIL produced a Spotted Dick!

They were not poor, but just too mean to celebrate; or too lost in their own strange world.

This is the same MIL who never used to send cards or presents to our children for any occasion; but once, when we happened to be down at their place on the day of my DD's birthday (she was 7) she produced a card in its WH Smith bag and in its cellophane wrapping and said "I have got you a card - I have not written in it, as you can - you will know what you want to say!" See what I mean about eccentric!!

They were however extremely erudite and conversations round the lunch table were in several languages and full of literary quotes. I did languages at A level so could just about keep up. They were not your stereotypical academics, but quite downmarket really!

They took a bit of getting used to!

This thread reminded me of a very funny story from one of my neighbours, several years ago. She was looking out of her window just before Christmas when she saw her husband go into the garage with a Harrods bag. The next day she could not resist looking and discovered he had bought her a frying pan. Over coffee she was furiously complaining about him and plotting revenge. The day before xmas eve their garage was broken into and he told her that among the things that was stolen was her Christmas gift. She innocently asked him what it was and he said, "It was that designer handbag you wanted from Harrods".

Not mean, exactly, but very disappointing. When I was still with exdh, my mother would still do a sort of "stocking" for each of us. I decided to save the most interesting present until last. It was rectangular, reasonably heavy, didn't rattle.

Imagine my disappointment on removing the wrapping paper to find a very sturdy cardboard box containing 4 dusters!

From x FIL and stepmother we once recieved a joint present of a pair of used unlaundered pillowcases, we had slept on them the previous month when on a visit, and they still had our loose hair on them.!!!!!!! Nicely wrapped. We announced that we were only giving presents to the children of the family the following year, an announcement which was not appreciated as FIL always got a bottle of very good Malt Whisky from us.

We used to take bets on who would get the meanest present from my notoriously tight fisted mother. She would often announce to myself. my SiL and my daughter that she had "BOUGHT US ALL THE SAME SO THERE WOULD BE NO FAVOURITSM". That would be 3 for 2 then my daughter would whisper. One birthday she bought me some rubber gloves and an air freshener (as you are always cleaning). Best laugh about this present was that the air freshener was torn from a clearly labelled pack of three.

Grannyknot

When I retired from the place I'd worked for 11yrs I was presented with.........

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Just a bouquet which was from approximately 40 staff.

This is slightly different, because it is about "mean donations". My daughter still chuckles about the time she came with me to the local church fete, where her prize on the Tombola stand was ... a half full handbag sized packet of wet wipes. You have to wonder - who would donate those, and who would think fine to put out as a prize

Never had a really mean one myself, but my sister received an intriguing looking present last Christmas from a friend. It was an oblong shaped box, very light and she couldn't imagine what it was. It was a box of tissues