Feeling Feminine?[hmmm]

When I dress, I never ask anyone "how does this look"? but I do know this doesn't work for everyone and it's actually none of my business how other people dress, it's their choice.

Well said, flick. You have put it far better than I did. I would only add that I am female and feminine but that feminity (anyone's feminity) does not depend on superficial things like shoes or make-up. I've never really understood why so many people seem to think it does.

However, if people want to think otherwise that's fine by me. Also if people want to exercise a "sense of humour" that I fail to appreciate, that's fine too. Just don't expect me to join in in either case.

What this is really about is me objecting to social pressure to conform to fashion 'rules' about what women 'should' look like. There's no humour in that as far as I can see. It's quite a serious issue.

I have never felt feminine in my life and have never quite understood what was meant by the word. In fact my sense of self has never had any basis of gender, other than in the purely physical form. I am female by definition but not feminine.

I cannot see how what you wear defines how female you are. I like to dress well and look good because that is how I was brought up, but, again, for my mother and grandmother dressing well had more to do with self repect and self-regard (in the positive eaning of that word) than any sense of looking 'feminine'.

I wear flat shoes for work and around the house but when I go out I like to dress up and wear heels if they suit the outfit! I love dresses and skirts because they look better on me than trousers. I cannot stand the short androgynous hair do that many women have when they get older. It may be easy to care for but it does not flatter many women.

I'm having to wear flats more and more these days because of the bunion . Yes, it could be my flibberty-gibberty heel-loving comeuppance, but all the women in my family are afflicted by them, whatever footwear style they favour, so I'm more inclined to think they're hereditary. Until about a year ago I could walk round all day in my heels without any discomfort.

Heels don't make me feel more feminine, and certainly not girly, which I've never been. In a work situation they make me feel more professional. With so many women in the workplace favouring black trousers and jacket with flats, I'd rather stand out as the one in a bright tailored dress and a pair of killer heels.

Since flat pumps became so fashionable (and my feet have become so swollen!) I have reluctantly given up on heels. Won't be giving up on make up though or hair dye

Sense of humour bypass...?

Has anyone said they can't see the point or would choose not to wear anything 'feminine', ana? I thought the point was that people have different ideas about what counts as feminine, and my argument is that that's what I would expect. We're all different in lots of ways; why should our perception of what makes us feminine (or not, as the case may be) be any different?

I'm off to bed now, feeling feminine in my PJs.

(Actually, don't bother answering my question, Bags, I'm sure you'd be perfectly happy striding through the Scottish countryside with a luxuriant beard flowing behind you! )

I find Zandra Rhodes' appearance rather scary

OK, this is a serious question. Would all or any of those who either can't see the point in, or choose not to wear anything 'feminine' be happy to sport a beard or moustache if it should suddenly start sprouting?

I have come across a couple of women who seem quite comfortable with that - one of the clients in a firm of solicitors where I worked some years ago had quite a long beard yet wore very neat and ladylike clothes. She was married and obviously her husband wasn't bothered about it.

Not that I'm implying that people in flat shoes cannot look sexy. Oh dear hope I haven't put my flat shoes foot in it there.!!

thatbags I love the riposte to your fathers criticism (12.56). That was rather what I was thinking when Zandra Rhodes ( I've remembered who it was now) made the comment about feeling feminine.I might have been less puzzled if she had said they made her feel more sexy!!

Nothing to do with age. I'm as feminine now as I was at twenty and I'll still be as feminine as that when I'm eighty.

Absolutly, when one gets to ones 70"s or 80"s one might feel totally different.
At 50"s age is on your side .

Just saying

Which, nonu, is just fine. Each to her own.

Whatever floats folks' boats, Nonu!

"Anna* you go girlfriend , your post of 20.41
.
My sentiments exactly . sometimes get a little bored with people loving the Au Naturel look, it doesn't do it for me one iota.
x

Well at least you've got better manners than her, GK

I've just had a very amusing experience with my "girlie-girl-girl" SIL visiting at my house and being determined that I should have a make over "to show your curves" and me having to draw on everything I ever learnt about being assertive.

My standard home "uniform" is baggy cut off cargo style trousers and a T-shirt, bare feet. One night when we were heading out for a meal as a foursome, her husband seemed very surprised to see me in a full-length floaty dress, and my favourite "Fly" sandals (see link below), and wearing lipstick and jewellery. He said "Oh, you do look elegant tonight". And my SIL triumphantly said "See, why can't you dress like that all the time?" .

www.flylondonshop.co.uk/womens/all-shoes/yakin

They would feel like props to me. Other people can do what they like, naturally. I wasn't talking about other people, just telling you what I think.

'Props' indeed! I wear makeup to feel like me and I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks!

(Although it does irk me slightly when it's implied that women who like wearing the things mentioned in this thread are somehow inadequate...)

The only shoes my poor arthritic feet are comfortable in are none. If I must wear shoes sandals are the best but a bit chilly in winter.
I have t wear closed shoes for archery and boy am I glad to bet out of them after 2 1/2 hours.

Same here. As far as I'm concerned there's no difference between feeling feminine and feeling 'me'. The two are synonymous. This doesn't mean all other women will agree that I represent 'femininity', but that needn't and doesn't bother me. I just don't feel the need for any 'props' (high heels, make-up, frills, whatever) in order to feel feminine.

Mishap, you took the words off my keyboard. I learnt to put on eye shadow and mascara when I did a bit of the Duke of Edinburgh Award (Bronze) at the age of 16 in the Dark Ages but haven't used either, or any other kind of make-up, for many years. I do own some skirts but haven't worn them for so long that they've probably come back into fashion and I don't like shoes I couldn't run away in. The trousers I wear for work are slightly more respectable than the jeans I wear at home. Mr When is quite happy, and I'm quite comfortable, so that's fine.