'Bo Peeps Arms' (formerly Pete's Bar) reopening night

Ana Good thinking!! Leather whips and a bit of thrashing sound right up my street. Put my name down please and I'll start practising now.
Not sure about pumpkins though....................

I think I saw glam messing about with a commode, she thinks it's a plate warmer!

All back on course now had a stinker of a cold for a couple of days and feel the need for a rather large Brandy in a warmed glass please I will snuggle up by the fire for a while and relax,brought some vodka jellies for the more decearning ladies (you know who you are)
To-morrow when feeling a wee bit brighter I will stock up on the menu so we have loads for the week-end,a large pan of curry & rice is simmering in the kitchen but you will have to serve yourself my waitress lady has resigned as she wanted double time because someone told her we where very demanding.
Who us !!

Ana I have obtained a supply of real leather whips from Mrs Trott's riding establishment - I do hope that will placate you somewhat. Oh dear! has someone removed the commode from the Snug?

'Sniff...'

Count me out then - surgical stockings indeed! I'm obviously way too young for this establishment, you'll be having commodes in the snug next!

NanKate What a splendid suggestion - promoting the recycling of second hand surgical equipment.

I'll see what I can find. I have a couple of pairs of surgical stockings - one's got a ladder up the back that I can darn up (I can't be bothered to wash them but they'll be hung on the line to 'air'). There's also a few back-copies of 'Saga' magazine somewhere and I think a couple tins of Libby's milk in the pantry (only just post-war). Tally Ho and toddle-pip! I'm off to see what else I can find.
At this rate laydees, we might even WIN the carnival float competition, if the donkey behaves itself

Get away with you, NanKate! Nothing 'oldie' about most of us regulars, though I can't speak for your good self of course - I certainly have no need of the 'equipment' of which you speak...!

I like the pumpkin thrashing idea, Bo - can we have real leather whips?

Thanks for the welcome.

You can have one of my straws Papa but please keep your sausage roll to yourself I'm a respectable married woman you know.

Bo I've been thinking of a display for one of the floats, how about medical equipment for the aged e.g. commode, grabber stick to pick up things that have dropped on the floor, surgical stockings, bunion covers and finally padded unisex knickers. This would have the effect of showing what is available for us oldies.

Oooooeerr papaoscar you are a one! (not sure which one, well anyone will do really).
Good evening nanKate M&S? well, yes we are just the establishment for M&S to use for advertising their cheese straws and I'm sure the laydees will enjoy some cider from a bottle rather than scrumpy too.
I must confess I have joined many local Society Circles since coming to the village. Soon it will be the Fruit, Vegetable and Flower Show - to which I am going to dedicate growing my prize marrow, it's already 18" long and weighs around 10lbs - tis a real beauty. It's growing in a Very Secret Place in The Compost Heap and 'Pepper' pig is guarding it under the threat of being turned into sausages.
The Village Fete committee are asking for ideas for the fete? There will, of course, be the usual Carnival parade - anyone any ideas what our float could represent? I have loan of Mildred's donkey and cart for the day. I have suggested 'Thrash the Hell out of the Pumpkin' as a game but as yet they're still undecided. Any ideas Laydees? Let me know…..

Greetings, Nankate, we have shared a limerick or two, I think, in a different galaxy. M & S cheese straws, eh, and a drop of 'Peckers finest! Such largess would guarantee you life membership down at Grabbits Supermercado and Steam Bath just down the road, but here at Bo-peeps I'm still feeling my way in the dark, as it were, and so far haven't come across any dancing Poles delivering the mail.

In fact, I've never actually seen anybody else in the bar at all, and the Landlord-ess, the venerable Bo, appears to be a vampire and takes wing to Transylvania now and then. I should also watch out for the sausage rolls, if I were you, I've always been suspicious of their vivid green colour. Anyway, good luck and see you about. Any chance of a straw now?

This is a new thread to me. It looks slightly risqué and full of fun, a bit like our Virtual Canal Trip earlier this year.

If I bring my M & S cheese straws and a bottle of Woodpecker can I join the party ?

Do you have any male pole dancers performing ? Is this within your remit Papaoscar or shall I organise some professionals ?

Point taken, Ana, perhaps I shouldn't have gone to a certain chain of low-cost opticians after all. You have my permission to bite the tops off those bottles if you wish and don't forget to suck some lemons.

And Madame Bo, sawdust Queen of our esteemed ale-house, I can only say that your performance in that role transcends mere sexuality, hence my confusion. Permit me to say that you will be very welcome at Grabbits next guest steam night which will feature a display of underwater formation dancing by teams drawn from local hostelries. In fact, I shall suggest to the management that you would be a most appropriate person to present the loofahs, should you willing to do so. (If you do it might be a good idea to check-out the old bathing-drawers in case the infamous Bo-peep moths have been active again. We don't want a repeat of last year's unfortunate falling- out, do we, dear!)

OK, I'll bring me bus pass!

(BTW, are you sure your own eyes don't need testing, papaoscar? Bo is a laydee, you know...)

Better bring some ID, Ana, you know how feeble Bo's eyes are in bar area. And after all the shock of selling all those bottles at once will come as a big shock and he might think you're buying them for your mum!

I'll have half a dozen to take out, please, bo - better not test it first or I'll never get out of here!

(Do I get money back on the bottles? If so, just knock the price off my tab, thanks )

Special Offer tonight laydees a pint of 'Pete's Poteen' for 50p, I've just found a few bottles in the loft - I think that's what it is - it's definitely not water (hic)

Oh yes - that strange brew Pete concocted with gramps involving Cointreau and some lager dregs. They tested it thoroughly and then Pete wrote the labels for the bottles...

roses - orange juice is very rare in this pub, but I can probably rustle up some ornage juice if you can hang on a bit - I'll need to go up in the loft for it

Peaches and evap used to be my Grandma's speciality.Actually, it's very nice.

with neeps and tatties.Followed by deep fried Mars Bars.Followed by a stroke.

Our very own resident Chef - Madame Glam I'm sure will be able to rise to the culinary challenge of cooking juis-ala-Haggis with French fries, gravy and mushy peas (ketchup extra).
As demanded by our clientele, I will enquire on her availability to produce another Bo Peep Arms Speciality - tin peaches, served with evap milk.

Deep fried Haggis tonite then, bo.

sorry, about the 'ornage' juice , it's a rare taste, I will accept orange juice instead.

Ha-ha! Good one Bo. I love this pub [well, it's a good job that I do as I have been banned from The Drunken Duck for a few months now.]
Am off alchohol for a while so it's just an ornage juice for me tonight please [but stick a double gin in it won't you?]
That Cornish pastie made in Devon was horrible!I shall go back to sausage rolls.