'Bo Peeps Arms' (formerly Pete's Bar) reopening night

Not happy about the scouse and beetroot- never heard of it, not coming from or ever been to that part of the world. Can you not cook something sensible like haggis, neeps and tatties which everybody who knows anything about food enjoys?

We don't do jars of beetroot all grown fresh from the field at the back of the kitchen we are very "green" I have you know laydee's.Food hygiene certificates all stuck up in the kitchen I had no drawing pins so used flour & water to glue to the walls.
I'm busy to-day so help yourselves to the nibbles etc and remember those IOU's the till is empty at the moment and the beer bill needs paying,may try some home brew to boost the coffers will have to discuss with boho when she comes back from her wine tasting day out at the brewery,purely for business purposes I can assure you

Fear not, I shall put her through her Hijeanne certificate forth with. She says if she's barking, I probably am too.

I think the rest of us will be the ones worrying if MissM's attitude to food hygiene is so casual, MrsP!

I'd have you know glamma has a dic/ktat regarding such goings-on...

Scouse is just what the doctor ordered in a cold August. Miss M says she'll try the beetroot, thanks, but if she doesn't like it, we can return it to the jar almost unchewed.
Oh, I do worry.
She tells me she'll have the salmon, and leave me Ella.

All the sausages now done and standing to attention ready for the toad in the hole,so form an orderly queue and pay at the bar or write out your IOU's (polite request please pay from your pensions on Monday) we seem to be running at a loss in the kitchen dept.
Menu for to-morrow is scouse and beetroot if you don't like it hard luck as I am busy with the kiddie winkles to-morrow we are going to Southport for the day,I will leave some French Sticks in the kitchen but they may be a bit on the hard side but will soften when dunked into the gravy.Enjoy.

Think I prefer dictats Ana - sounds like something Glam could rustle up - talking of which, I hope she's okay with the green sausage cooking, she should be okay if she doesn't lick her fingers too often (I'm pretty certain there'll be a few Rules and Dictats contravened in the kitchen too )

'diktat'

I think the Fat Lady weight comp may contravene several EU Rules and Dictats, Bo, but I like the idea of the sunken Victoria Sponge Hall of Shame...!

I'm just going to check on my marrows.

Annual Village Fete. Suggestions for stalls/activities so far: 'Pin the Tail on the Bull' (the Squire's promised us loan of 'Malcolm', his prize Herefordshire Bull). 'Guess the Weight of the Fat Lady' (volunteers to sit on the farm weighing scales needed) 'How Many Lentils in the Bottle?' (I've already suggested using sand to save on the cost of lentils) 'Pumpkin Smashing' (at a pinch can use tomatoes) 'Pram Race' (with or without grandchildren in them?) 'Guess Who Cooked the sunken Victoria Sponge' 'Coc…….Oh, there's someone on the phone, scuse me laydees...

Yes, Miss M and I are almost newbies.
Yes, I am almost a ballerina, tending to Miss M's needs. She says thank you, darlink. She's such a diva.

PS to MRS Pickle forgot to add DARLINK

Hello there MRS PICKLE are you a Newbie? Do tell

If you have the time, after tending to Miss M"S needs, she must really keep you on your toes , have to say I don"t envy you one bit

At the last count, she was definitly over 18 inches, yes. Not tall enough to reach the bar, but tall enough to eat and drink everything in sight.
And she has I D to prove it. She's Kennel Club regestered, darlink. Hic. She says.

Is she over 18, Mrs Pickle? Bo is very strict on ID you know...

Bo, I can reach the bar, but Miss M says a crate will come in handy. She can turn it upside down and sleep in in after her Babycham.

Yes, only something, Lona? Most people find lots!
3 springers for a start. Mad as a box of frogs...

MrsPickle There's something about you that I find slightly worrying!

Now you're talking Ana. I could also sell on my three 'as new' surplus red light bulbs to the Steam Room for 99p. Business aint too good there, so they're always looking for a bargain and I reckon a warm red glow in that place could act like a lighthouse beacon in the dark, no excuses for getting lost in the dark and wandering round the village with no clothes on. I must remember to have a word with papaoscar (if he's in tonight - he had a 'late' one last night.
Good evening MrsP and MissM - what do you want a crate for? do you need one to stand on to reach the bar?

Any of those drawers you found, in size 30, might belong to a FRIEND, not saying who mind.!!

GIGGLE

She has been concerned for my cracked rib. She has asked if it can be smothered in bbq sauce. I have told her, firmly, that I will only consider chilli. She won't lick that off too fast and it's quite warming.

Miss M and I have been very busy for the last 2 weeks, but she requested we pop in tonight to share a Babycham.
Anyone got a crate?

No - that extra penny makes them in breach of the Trade Descriptions Act!

Threaten to sue 'em and we'll probably get a whole crateload of red light bulbs for free that we can sell on to the steam room and make a vast profit!

Good evening glam. Glad you're feeling better - it means you'll be able to cook a vat of sausages for Toad in the Hole? (Throw the green ones to the pig).
Size 22 & 18 drawers? Sounds like papaoscar's threat of sending round the heavies from the steam bath happened sometime last night, though I don't recall seeing more manly sized laydees than the usual ones.
Not too sure that getting the red light bulbs at '4 for a £1' at the 99p Shop was such a good idea….

Feeling brighter to-day that Brandy must hit the right spot,so onwards and upwards says I, there seems to be a few bits of underwear hanging around under the bar stools anyone lost a pair of French Knickers size 22 or a pair of Thongs size 18,mind we could use the Knickers as a flag to advertise the fact we are open would look good above the red light