'Bo Peeps Arms' (formerly Pete's Bar) reopening night

Calm down merlot the quiz hasn't started yet - have you got your fiver to put in the Honesty Box?

really? MrsP never heard that one before

Oh yes but round here, hump day is the middle of the week!!

And of course, Friday is POETS day!

Mrs P You do know what humping is a euphemism for, don't you?

Hump day = middle of the week,
Downhill to the weekend!

SlumDOG Millionnaire.

Am I in the LEAD?

Everyone's in watching telly. I've got one of those little portable b&w ones up in the loft, I'll bring it down and put in on the mantlepiece

merlot

merlot (a clue to the answers of all Miss Maniacs dog quiz questions is 'dog')

Sounds like she needs more than a G&T

Hump day MrsP?

DOG!!!!!

What was the question again?

I do apologise for the low standard of Miss M's quiz tonight. She's promised to do better tomorrow.
She says is there anywhere here I can post her picture? Honestly. She is so vain.
Anyway, it's Hump day, so I can have a g & t! With a small packet of crackling.

Quick. Get that quiz going while she's gone. We might be in with a chance.

Here at last all those cockles had me round the bend they take ages to scream & open and boy do they scream,I haven't brought the shells far to heavy to carry for a delicate thing like me
Don't believe I owe anything from the cash & carry I did mention that the stock accidentely feel into the boot of my car !!
Thinking I will do well at the quiz if all the questions are dog related,I've meet a few in my time mostly pedigree's but a few mongrels here & there.
I've got the butter for you Ana don't you be touching that other stuff its like wagon fat so not good for you,got to keep up standards don't you know.
Got to dash Big brother on soon and don't want to miss it,got to support the scouser so enjoy your cockles and be careful where you leave your picks.

I'm back....All out!

There's a bucket of eels out the back. If glam doesn't want them I'll let them loose in the bar at closing time. Never fails

Marge isn't good for us - we want butter, please!
In fact I'm pretty sure glamma would never countenance serving any sort of polyunsaturated rubbish - have you got that right, boheminan?

Sorry, the quiz is being done by MrsP's escort. Sparky's bringing her piano along

Entertainment tonight Laydees:
a QUIZ has kindly been written for us by Miss Maniac (sparkys escort?) a clue to every answer is …'dog'. Winners can donate a fiver to the 'Honesty Box'.
The juke box is now plugged in. Some of the records are a bit scratchy but a quick thump on the top soon sorts em out.
Bar menu tonight (if our chief cook and bottle washer glam gets here on time) is: Cockles boiled in pear perry, smothered in marge and served with very crusty toasted bread. A pick will be provided free. As baskets are in short supply, you'll only get one if you ask, otherwise the cockles come in a little bowl thing. Please leave all shells in bowls - they will recycled for table decorations at a later date.
The Juke-box costs 2/= for a 4 play selection and won't accept (1) foreign coins, (2) I.O.U's or (3) Asda tokens

Hopefully glam will start paying back for the stuff I subbed her for when she went to the Cash 'n' Carry on Sunday

Have you got a telly in the bar? Can't miss Bake Off.

I've put an IOU in the honesty box and nicked a bottle of

Back later

Hmm...let's hope there'll be fewer foreign coins, Asda tokens and IOUs in it at the end of the week than there were in Pete's day!

We're open. I'm just bringing the washing in. Help yourselves, and put money in the empty 'honesty box' at the end of the bar

I am very well trained on the lead. Miss M says all dogs are her friends and she's looking forward to a knees up. She said could she tell a joke. I've told her no, because she only has the one in her repertoire and involves sniffing her nether regions.