'Bo Peeps Arms' (formerly Pete's Bar) reopening night

I've only been away for a few hours and there appears to be mayhem on this site.

Ana is doing her Joan Collins act - no doubt she too has a toy boy.

Now Bo second hand medical equipment is just about ok but I must put my foot down when it comes to second hand padded unisex knickers, we do have standards to maintain.

Papaoscar appears to have gone quiet since I rejected his sausage roll.

I may need resuscitation soon as my two GSs 3+ and 1+ are coming for a WHOLE WEEK'S holiday tomorrow. My D in L says she notices how I get the sherry out at 6.00 to keep me going until the boys are in bed at 7.00, then we all hit the wine.

Hope you feel better soon Glamma

Where's papaoscar? I think he's muddled up M&S with S&M…..

Hello Sweetiepies, any Champagne going ???

As it is the only thing I will drink, unless of course I am offered a Moijita or a bloody Mary, but is this Pub up to offering that kind of drink? Don"t want to be mean but I seriously doubt it.

I AM also of the opinion, much like my drinking partner about the SURGICAL STOCKINGS you can put them where the sun don"t shine .
GET ME!!

GLAM hope you are better soon as your curries are the talk of the town.
x

Champagne Nonu? I think Sir Paul sneaked out with the last bottle.

However, there's half a bottle of Woodpecker cider someone left behind the other night - I reckons if you close your eyes and swallow it quick it'll taste just like champagne, specially with all them bubbles going up yer nose…

Glam hope you'll be well enough to pop along tomorrow to stir the curry - it's still bubbling away on the Aga

At least it's not in the commode...

Thank you for your support, Nonu! (Get it???) One has to uphold standards, come what may!

ANAyou so are very right , we do my dear! we *LAYDEES have to stick together.
Otherwise the standards at this place could go right down the pan
.
We have to be firm about what is acceptable, no two ways
.
Otherwise , dare I say it we will take our custom elswhere
.
OH sorry I didn't see you standing there BO. Thanks for telling me about the Champagne, that little blighter WOULD nick the last bottle , he is like that ! Tight arse wad!

Ye Gods, Laydees, thank goodness I've managed to struggle out of that leather harness at last! I feel that I've been strapped to that confounded commode for a month! I definitely shouldn't have bought those damned jars of Patagonian pickled winkle skins on special at Grabbits and then downed them with the dubious contents of that stone jar of Old Jocks' I found in the cellar at Bo-Peeps whilst on foot-patrol. That was folly indeed. So take heed, Laydees, of what you find rolling around at Bo's. Fine upstanding pillar of our community that she is, sometimes I feel that her lighthouse-like qualities are a beacon to some of the less desirable members of our tribe. Perhaps we need to beef-up our in-house security. There are one or two heavies down at the steam bath who might be persuaded to slip on a dress and go undercover on our behalf. What do you think? Meanwhile, I'll be returning the commode in the morning after the paint has dried. I'm told that the queue to use it is now out of the door.

papaoscar No wonder you've been strapped to a commode!

That jar of Old Jocks was what we used to soak *gramps' long johns in after he'd been on a bender!
We used to clean the brasses with it too!

LONA.
Well I am d too, POOR AULD FELLA, and there was him thinking it was the winkle skins.

Mr N does so love his Bishops Finger, every Friday and Saturday night
.
And before you say anything PAPA, I am talking of the ale.

Now that the commode is behind me, as it were Laydees, I'm all for a bit of a knees-up with perhaps some light dressing up and karaoke thrown in. I'm thinking about offering my Tommy Cooper with a rap version of Land of Hope and Glory. Anybody else up for a titter? Perhaps our good Queen Bo could chip in with a few free bevvies to help liven things up. I am prepared to donate several jars of excellent Patagonian pickled winkle skins (only just out of date) to help get things moving.

Best keep Mr N away from Brother Thelonious and Druid Fluid then, Nonu, lest things get a bit too religious!

Throw in a few free bevvies papaoscar? the Honesty Box is overflowing with IOU's, shove halfpennies and buttons

Think you may need to order some more commodes, Bo - this place is turning into a den of iniquity!

(I agree Ana) Papaoscar calm down, calm down, you're getting over excited - you remember what happened last time you got over excited and went on a naked rampage through the village at midnight. If you carry on like this, we'll have to sit on you before you do yourself another injury.

Laydees. Your attention Pleeeease! The Village Fete committee are very excited about Bo-Peeps suggestion of a Pumpkin Bashing contest, so now laydees, it's all hands to the pump to see who can grow the biggest pumpkins before October - a prize pint of whatever you like for only one IOU in the Honesty Box to the winner

Now come on Bo, we all know that the drips and dribbles end up in that keg of so-called Iron Man 4X guest special you've hidden down behind the old dunny. No wonder the stuff comes out a funny colour and smells like a long-dead kebab. And surely you could persuade Glam to magic up a few of those green sausage-shaped objects for which she is so infamous. If she could arrange for them to shine in the dark it would add a degree of mystery to the proceedings. What do you think?

God BO , you have brought back memories of PAPA running through the village naked [not a pretty sight , I might add, there were things swinging here there and everywhere].

I STILL have nightmares, I kid you not !

Can"t look at a sausage these days in quite the same way!

All I can say Bo is that my pumpkins are quite a nice size already! Not sure I can manage them any bigger.

The trouble is papaoscar and his mates keep lifting them up to see how heavy they are
He can offer his Tommy Cooper as much as he likes but he's not coming near my pumpkins

G'night Bo-Peepers

papaoscar it's chucking out time

papaoscar WAKE UP. it's 7.30 in the morning - time to go home

Feeling brighter to-day that Brandy must hit the right spot,so onwards and upwards says I, there seems to be a few bits of underwear hanging around under the bar stools anyone lost a pair of French Knickers size 22 or a pair of Thongs size 18,mind we could use the Knickers as a flag to advertise the fact we are open would look good above the red light