Eating out - is it a waste of money

At our WI we go from late 50s to 90s and from my experience it is the attitude of the person not their age that shows how much fun they are.

I am 67 and up for a laugh. My friend Sheila is 83 she goes circuit training. Is joined to two WIs, the U3A. Does the VAT for 3 sons. Provides a taxi service for her numerous grandchildren and hardly has a day when she isn't doing something productive. She even runs a video club on a Sunday for widows who are lonely.

So tell your friend not to be put off by age. You can usually attend 2 or 3 meetings before committing yourself.

My recently widowed friend was persuaded by a neighbour to go along to a meeting of the Townswomens's Guild. She reported back that she didn't think she would join as they were all "old ladies". My friend is nearly 78!! I don't know if this is typical of them.Do younger women join organisations now in the way that we might have done?

Townswomen' s Guild?

Thanks for that annodomini. I got as far as looking for local groups and then chickened out. When I was a member back in the day we were all pretty much 30 somethings with young families. I should hate to go and be the old person with little in common with the rest. Am I worrying unnecessarily? Should I perhaps check out the WI or the Mothers Union?

Oh, and Tegan as well, of course!

Glass, there`s nowt I`d like better than to get up there to one of your get togethers, especially if both you and Marelli were going to be there! I will keep living in hope xx

number you are one of the nicest and most worthy people I have known, you have had a tough time with yours,DH and DD health this last year. You are not a wet blanket!!!
I am still checking out the trains for a good deal to get you to one of our North East meetings.
Enjoy your evening tomorrow with your DD and dont worry about the weather.
marelli and I would be dragging you out for coffee if only we were closer, we would both talk your ears off

After reading what you all had to say, all very helpful, by the way, I looked up the WI in S.Lincolnshire, but find that there is`t one on the list for Boston.
As for going to Gransnet meet ups, I did go to the Birmingham one in October 2012, and had a very enjoyable afternoon, but getting there and back was not only expensive re train fares, but also a struggle getting from one part of the stations to another when changing trains. Since then, both mine and hubby`s health have gone downhill, and although he wouldn`t mind (?) if I went to a local meet up in Lincoln, (the poor lady running the local site must be about ready to give up on arranging one!), he can no longer drive to get me to the station and home again later. I`m sorry to sound like a bit of a wet blanket, I`m feeling a bit down lately, due to health problems. Will try to brighten up!
Off out tomorrow night to see a tribute group with daughter number 3, terrible weather is forecast, and it`s in a marquee! But there is a 2 course buffet as well, so does that count as eating out?

purpledaff, this is the link for the NWR which is currently consulting about a name change. Hope you find a group.

With you on that Gagagran W.I. really is everything you say.

NHR saved my sanity in the early eighties! Moved to a new town with a toddler, a 6 week old baby and a husband with a very demanding new job. Luckily a much more proactive woman than me set up an NHR and I was able to make friends, I think the term used by the founder was 'like minded people'. We had so much going on too including a book group and a dinner party circle, very eighties! I didn't realise it was still going, must investigate. Thanks annodomini.

I was a member of the NHR way back in the 70's, as far as I remember we had some excellent discussions, a chance to get out in the evening and our group evolved into having parties (with husbands there too!) as well. I'm still in touch with a couple of friends made in that era

I started two NHR groups, joined a third when we moved to Norfolk and lost touch for years when I was working and involved in local politics. Now I'm back and it's NWR nowadays. I took a long time to become one of the group because they had known each other since their days at the school gate and their kids had grown up together, but I'm currently local organiser and also deal with collecting the books for the book group from the library. A crowd of us get season tickets for a good local amateur theatre and annually organise a walk with the other local group.

Yes granjura I used to be a member of NHR about 28 years ago in Hampshire.We were not allowed to talk about home or children [in order to promote some intelligent debate] and I remember really enjoying those evenings away from our 3 young children, with a glass of wine and nibbles.

Never been a member of the WI- but does anyone remember the awfully named 'National Housewife's Register'? (NHR) We actually had a very lively and interesting group, and some very lively discussions and debates.

My daughter has just joined a WI for daughters of the older members of the existing local WI! I thought that was very funny. I can't remember what they call themselves. But her friend is furious that she will be going to Bootcamp instead of learning how to crochet.

I would always prefer going out to eat at lunchtime rather than evening as it feels more relaxed and is often better value. I had lunch out today with a friend I hadn't seen for ages, we went to quite a smart cafe (at the 'posh' nursery at Lostwithiel).
We didn't spend a fortune but sat and nattered happily for a couple of hours.
Hooray for the WI! I have been a member for nearly all my adult life. When my boys were little and DH was mostly away at sea I could have been quite isolated, hundreds of miles away from family, but I always managed to find a babysitter so I could go to WI. It kept me sane.

number, were you having a bad day when you posted yesterday? I haven't noticed that our U3A members are specially 'worthy'. It always seems to me that a very large proportion of the pensioners in the village attend the monthly meetings though not all join interest groups. And although the majority are women, there are quite a lot of men - worthy or not!

So nice that fellow WI members are saying what fun they have at their meetings, with a few exceptions when the speaker goes on too long.

We have a Book Club at our WI which is very popular. When anyone has a significant birthday we go out for a cream tea. For anyone on a restricted budget we make sure that we go to cafes that cater for all.

We have some funds available so the whole of our WI is going on a boat trip to Windsor stopping off for lunch and a free couple of hours in the town before we sail home.

Anyone who is less able is looked after well and no one left out. I would be very lonely if I didn't have my WI friends.

On 'eating out', it can be a pleasure, particularly if you go with friends.There are a few nice pubs near us, or we can go into Oxford, where there is a good variety of nosheries.The Eagle And Child does good pub grub , and there is a Jamie's [am not a fan of it though.]Plus tons of Chinese and Thai, if you like those cuisines.I have found you can be disappointed in any pub/gastro pub/restaurant.

janerowena is right numberplease, do try something. I am not a WI member at the moment but have been for over 20 years.The women all vary, and from all walks of life.I know what you mean by 'worthy' but have only met a few of those types.Not all the meetings are fun, and some of the visiting speakers can be dire, but once you are part of the group that doesn't matter too much.You will meet like minded people, there is general chat after the 'business' bit and the 'talk' when you have coffee and socialise.There are competitions, raffles and a produce table.You can go a couple of times as a visitor before becoming a member, and I would suggest that anyone does that before joining.Is there a book club in your village or district?

I'm another WI member and fan Numberplease and wish you could come and join ours! We are just a mixed bunch of normal women of all ages, (age doesn't matter in the slightest), and we have lots of outings and eatings! All WI ladies like to chat and eat so we have pub lunches, garden visits, coffee get togethers as well as monthly talks - usually interesting and often thought provoking. We have a craft sub-group, a garden group, a book group and a skittles group. Anything anyone fancies doing we try and arrange. It's great fun.

I do urge you to give it a go! DH and I have moved locations twice in the last 11 years and I didn't know a soul in either place so joined the WI immediately and before you could turn round, I had a diary full again.

Don't be lonely ladies - join the WI!

Numberplease I just read your posts and felt so sad! There are all sorts of women at my WI, it's fascinating. We all muck in together. Next Monday evening for example we will all be going round a beautiful garden that isn't open to the public. Many members are pensioners who don't have cars, the rest of us will all go to the village carpark and jam everyone in somehow and much scurrilous gossip will occur during the drive! WI is a great leveller. We are all women. That is all that matters - although we do allow a few men on occasion, as long as they behave themselves.

Anyway - getting back to the original post, I think that once you have found somewhere where you feel comfortable in to eat out, it's not a waste of money at all. You need to get out, have a break, do something different and have something different to talk about afterwards. Even if it's negative. So that what may at first seem a negative experience, at least it gives you a fresh topic of conversation with your OH or friends.

I agree Eloethan wholeheartedly.

I used to run courses for women with low self-esteem and those dominated by their partners and other family members.

Sometimes it took me months to persuade them that they were the only people who could make changes in their lives and take the control back. It was wonderful to see when they finally got up the courage to stand up for themselves.

Of course it didn't work for everyone as they thought that this was 'their lot' in life and that they had to put up with it.

It's a "control" thing I think Stansgran and one some gransnetters may be familiar with.