Relocating in retirement

My DD rang yesterday - she lives about 11 miles away - to say that a house has come on the market in their village, just down the road from them. She wondered if we might be interested as it would mean we would be on their doorstep and much nearer shops and town. It's a thought - with OH with PD and me a bit limpy, we would have a flat garden and folks on tap - I imagine this is what she is thinking. We are in a very tiny village on a hill with a steep garden.

But where we are we have a view to die for, excellent neighbours and are part of village life in many many ways; add to that the feeling that I simply could not be a**ed with all the upheaval a move would entail - I think we will stay put! But it's a nice thought.

I can see where she is coming from - at some point we will need to be a bit nearer one or other of the family and properties do not come up very often. Let us hope we do not regret deciding to stay put.

I admire those of you who are prepared to look at a big move from one end of the country to another.

I love the north (east, west, cumbria and more) but I agree, we don't get the best of the weather. I lived in south devon for a couple of years, and took a while to adjust to, and accept, the less benign climate, the cold, the rain and worst of all, the grey skies. The upside is the countryside, accessibility to Manchester, Leeds, Newcastle and other great cities.

Indeed - it is all relative! Geographical stereotypes are nonsense - I have acquired 3 SILs - one is local, another is a cockney and another is a geordie. They are all great and get on like a house on fire - we love them all.

My only concern about moving further north would be the weather. My DD lives in Cheshire (is that northern enough to qualify!?) and the temperatures are definitely lower than here on the S Wales border. But the breadth of variety in beautiful scenery is extraordinary there, as indeed it is here.

Living on the Isle of Wight, I have seen many retire here. They come, leaving their family and friends behind, because it is where they have enjoyed numerous holidays. All is well until one of them dies. The remaining one often finds that they cannot, for financial reasons, relocate back home and end up very lonely. All of you have said that you are rejoining your families, so that does not apply. I'm not sure that it is a good thing to leave your home ground for pastures new at this time. Friends are harder to make as you get older and friends and family are the most important factor at this time. Take it from one who knows!

According to my SiL, I live up north - in Leicestershire!!

We moved from North Kent to North Devon eighteen months ago ( GNetters saw me through the trauma!)

It was a very carefully researched and considered move, and we have not regretted it one bit. But then DD and her family are nearby, which is a joy, and we had been visiting them for about 12 years, so had met a lot of people before we moved. I don't think I would have been happy to move so far without family near. (My two DSs live in Hampshire and Gloucestershire, and we see them regularly - coming to the seaside is so nice for them.)

Good luck with decision making, Babs!

Far away from what is the question, and to what? If you move to somewhere your southern friends could come and enjoy visiting, and you keep in touch with them, you will have most of your family and contact with your friends, and you can return to visit the south and indulge in whatever you miss by moving.

If you move to a small house with no room for visitors, in an area that does not encourage them, you will be restricted to family plus the new friends you will undoubtedly make. and your other son and his family will miss you, as you say.

Don't expect everything to be exactly the same as it was forty years ago, either. Areas change, for some things that is for the better, for others the worse. Shopping will be vastly better than you imagine it, with branches of all the big chains. Cities will be cleaner, in general. The weather is not so awful as it is rumoured, but the gardening season starts weeks later and finishes weeks earlier.

Can you go and stay with family for several weeks before you decide, to rerally experience the change?

And it is not the far north. You can probably get to London for the day without setting the alarm for four am.

Babs1952 a friend of mine moved from London to Northumberland a year ago. She wanted to be closer to her sister and family. She has obviously left all of her friends and ex colleagues behind and is missing the drop in coffees and imprompu lunches.

She does not make friends easily and is now regretting the move. She has been shopping locally and no further and is with her sister most of the time. I have no idea what she will do if her sister dies before her.

The bonus is that she is saving money by going nowhere but house prices have rocketed in London so she could not afford to return.

I would think very carefully about any move so far away.

Yes Agus, up north is relative, isn't it? Elgin is north of you and me but Newcastle and Leeds are definitely down south!
Babs it would be interesting to kmow just how far north you might move?

I understand your dilemma babs. I too am an northerner now living in the sunny south. On the one hand living back in my home city would let me be supported and support my lovely extended family. I would never be lonely. These are people who live like me, talk like me, laugh like me. The cost of living is lower, so my standard of living would be better. My daughter would be closer. It's so very tempting. On the other hand one of my sons and his very young family live here on my doorstep and I think he would feel a little abandoned. I'v made friends here. I have actually lived here longer than in the city of my birth. The weather is just that bit warmer. It would be a massive change. I just don't know. I keep it in my head as an option. I'd Be interested to know what you decide. Iam64 I do know what you mean. There are times when I feel judged by my accent and where I come from. But I also think that the implied suggestion from some people that southerners are unfriendly, middle class conservative voters with no empathy for the rest of the British population derogatory. We are more alike than we think.

For a minute there I thought you meant, Aberdeen or possibly Elgin
I get it now!

I think if you have family you have always been close to it would work but my experience with friends from your former and younger life is that it is very hard to go back as you have all moved on in your lives.

Yes, we moved from 'up north' to the Midlands to be near family. It was a going 'back' thing though, so though I gained my GC, I left my friends behind. You may still have friends there that you can reconnect with.

Would I do it again? Yes. Love having my immediate family so close and am making new friends.

Iam64 For goodness sake do not let everyone know that the North is not all old coal mines and derelict mills. They will all want to move here and spoil our exceptionally beautiful countryside.

"Up North" always sounds derogatory to those of us who live here. You don't say whereabouts up north, as though it's all one huge mass of former coal mining areas, former mill towns and poverty. Well, there is too much of that, but so many positives I'd much rather live here than "down south", wherever that may be

Retirement planning is good, enjoy it and make whatever decision feels right for you - but be sure you want to move, and start all over again.

It's cold up there! Take your wooly undies!