Do you believe in the principle "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man"?

Nurture is important, nature plays its part and the individual has choices about what to make of the influences from parents/extended family/peer groups

I was lucky enough to have a fine history teacher fifty-odd years ago who taught his subject well. One of his principles was the the child is the father of the man, another that history repeats itself, another that human nature has not changed over the ages. I think he was right.

emotional and intellectual development and their social behaviour.

Although it is fairly evident that bad childhood experiences can have devastating consequences in terms of a person's emotional and intellectual and their social behaviour, I feel that a rigid interpretation of this view in effect denies that people can change.

Research has shown that the "labels" people are given are internalised and become part of them, so I feel that setting in stone this idea of "give me a child until he is 7 ......" , is dangerous because it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, agree very much about that Nightowl

Yes indeed, nightowl.

On the other hand, it is possible to mess up a child so much by the age of seven (or less) that they carry the damage for life.

Of course. We are genetically programmed to be as we are just as much as AKA 's goose.We can still be influenced by nurture though only to a degree.

I'm more a believer of nature/nurture. If my first 7 years were to set the tone for the rest of my life I would be a prime candidate for the Jeremy Vile show.
As it turned out, I took after my Fathers side of the family. They would be described as honest hard working people. My Father was the black sheep of the family.
Whereas my Brother and Sister were/are takers and con artists.

Of course AKA if that bantam had been a Jesuit, it would have been a different story although it may still have had a very sad ending.

Ohhhh! That is very sweet Aka. I'm glad she was eventually fulfilled.

We had bantams in the garden when I was little. The idea was that I would be encouraged to eat eggs. I was very afraid of the cockerel though. He never looked very little to me.

I agree with Holly. My DD (although an only child) was part of a close knit family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc).I have always taught her that family comes first and that the people who were there for her from day one are the most important people. She now has a daughter of her own (also an only child). My DD is more 'into' her friend's family than her own now. She rarely sees our family. I have often said my my DH 'why is she like this' 'what did we do to make her think that her family are less important than her friend's family'. His answer is always the same. 'We didn't do anything. We did our best. She is what she is.' Hard to accept though.

jingl bantams make good mothers and this one kept going broody. Which means she would sit on a nest, day in and day out, on infertile eggs, hoping for a wee chick of her own. Even if we removed her eggs she'd go and sit on any other egg she could find. This could go on for 6 weeks, so I gave her the chance to be a mother.

Did you eat it Aka or was it worse than that? I hope it wasn't a fox.

What made you think it was a good idea to put a goose egg under a bantam?!

That was in response to Aka' s tale from the farmyard.

Was the adoptive mum heartbroken?

I don't wanna know the sad ending. It's sad enough already!

No, I don't believe it. Children are influenced more by their peers than by their parents and teachers. What they are told whilst they are very young and impressionable soon becomes challenged when faced with alternative views and modes of behaviour from people they admire more (their friends and those they wish to emulate). Once they have reached adulthood (and with the onset of deferred adulthood, this is now at a much later stage in the lives of some), they may well rethink their belief system.

People are so different so I don't think that 'give me a child' can be a hard and fast rule. Yes, nurture matters but heredity often outs. You might think this is going off subject but bear with me (I may even have told this before)

I once popped a goose egg under a broody bantam. She hatched it out and strutted round the garden with her 'chick' which outgrew her within 10 days. She got upset when it swam in the pond and ran around the edge clucking at it. It refused to sleep in trees at night (wrong feet for gripping branches) so she slept on the ground with it. In return it guarded her from the hierarchy of the other hens. And when all the geese came into the garden it hid under the hedge with the other chicks.

One day when it was fully grown (over 7 years in goosey years) it didn't run away when the geese came into the garden but just upped and joined them and thereafter it because a true goose. So much for imprinting and 'give me the goose until..' ......

Yes, I understand it was an animal and all that, but interesting never-the-less. There is a sad ending to this story which I don't want to go in to.

Agree with thatbags post on this subject.

Yes of course Jingl we have to take responsibility for our own learning and development, but it helps if you have been encouraged in early life.
I'll always be grateful to my grandmother for the things she taught me and most of the things I enjoy now date back to my early childhood.

And widening the subject.

Not meant to be digging up old bones. Just digging a bit deeper.

I agree with your second sentence Jane, but doesn't there come time when we have to instil our own ideals? Whatever we were taught early on?

I like that post finn.