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How about a haiku?

(20 Posts)
rosesarered Sat 22-Mar-14 15:44:14

Oh well, that's alright then!grin

annodomini Sat 22-Mar-14 13:33:56

PS. When I wrote the verse in the OP, I was combining the Anglo Saxon alliterative tradition with the Japanese (modified) format. Should have explained that in the OP!

annodomini Sat 22-Mar-14 13:18:51

When our creative writing group researched the haiku, we found many articles on the Internet, most of which observed that the modern English haiku couldn't be forced into the Japanese 5-7-5 format. In Japanese, for example, a word can be split between lines to make the verse conform which would be very clumsy in English! In the Japanese form, the rule is not about syllables in our sense of the word. The rule is 5-7-5 moras, of which there may be more than one in a syllable. We found this quite informative, though it would be an advantage to know Japanese to understand it fully!

janeainsworth Sat 22-Mar-14 13:05:44

Apologies if these have recently been posted elsewhere on GN, but they might amuse anyone who has struggled recently with their computer:

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

rosequartz Sat 22-Mar-14 12:56:13

Or even a haka

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 22-Mar-14 12:52:03

Sorry that wasn't a haiku.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 22-Mar-14 12:51:18

Oh I love to see a cat sleeping in the sun! They choose such clever places. And their fur feels so warm. And has that lovely "fur" smell.

I still miss the little cat I had forty-odd years ago.

Anne58 Sat 22-Mar-14 12:29:14

Digby lit by sun
Beams slanting on stripey fur
Of what does he dream?

Anne58 Sat 22-Mar-14 12:18:18

BUM! Ignore me, I was thinking of 7 in the first line............., just realised that it's 5 in first, 7 in second (stupidphoenixemoticon)

Anne58 Sat 22-Mar-14 12:16:43

PS merlot I don't think you have too many syllables, or perhaps I just can't count? confused

Anne58 Sat 22-Mar-14 12:15:11

Thanks merlot I made it 7 too!

rose are you saying "pomes" as opposed to poems?

merlotgran Sat 22-Mar-14 11:53:25

Sorry. Too many syllables in first line. Must pay attention.

merlotgran Sat 22-Mar-14 11:52:13

Saturdays are one big bore
Housework done but such a chore
DH in the Pub!

merlotgran Sat 22-Mar-14 11:49:47

I counted 7 syllables in phoenix's first line. grin

rosequartz Sat 22-Mar-14 11:16:31

Oh, I thought I was going to have to do a New Zealand war dance.

Now, this could be more of a challenge!

Hail is spiking down
Gone is the blue of the sky
Spring could be delayed

rosesarered Sat 22-Mar-14 11:15:16

phoenix grin your first line has 6 syllables! naughty naughty.

Charleygirl Sat 22-Mar-14 11:04:36

It is all beyond my pea brain.

Anne58 Sat 22-Mar-14 11:02:49

Writing poems can be hard
My brain rattles in my head
Give up, drink coffee

rosesarered Sat 22-Mar-14 10:21:20

It is 17 syllables anno but strictly speaking should be 5 for first line 7 for 2nd and 5 for 3rd line.
So here is my offering [also Spring, as it's a nice day!]

birds fly from the tree
arrowing into blue sky
feathered shafts of Spring.

annodomini Sat 22-Mar-14 09:48:01

A challenge to would-be (or actual) poets: a haiku is a short poem of 17 syllables, encapsulating an idea or picture.

Here's one I made earlier: about Spring

Sunlight silvers the skeleton
Birch beyond the brook;
Gilds the garden.

Over to you Gransnetters!