Never had a hens' night.

I went to a work colleague's hen night a few years ago. Having not been to a night club before, I got up to dance with a couple of my colleagues and blundered straight through a circle of 'local girls' ( not our group) who were dancing. It was dark and I didn't realise they had all put their drinks on the floor in the middle of the circle. Over went the drinks and my colleagues pushed me on through the nightclub, hissing 'just keep on walking'. Luckily the girls didn't realise who had knocked over their drinks. The floor was very sticky afterwards.

None of my English friends and relatives has ever heard of a show of presents but in the Scotland of my youth, it was taken for granted that this would take place. As a teenager, I helped out at several. However, by the time my sisters were married this was, I think, outmoded and besides, they both got married the other side of the country from the parental home, with guests coming from all over Britain and beyond. I tied the knot in Africa and certainly didn't have a show of present there.

The only wedding I went to where there was a show of presents was in Kent, but the father of the bride was a Scot who had emigrated south and taken up farming in Kent. The display was in the dairy. I was mildly embarrassed because I had only recently started work in a trainee position so my salary was low and my present obviously inexpensive.

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Looks as though the show of presents was indeed a Scottish thing - I didn't realise (also the term 'purvey' as a noun I think)
Your night sounds as though it was well worth the effort - if I could have had a hoodie I might have been more willing, I'd only been to very prim affairs!

I'm an another one who had a 'show of presents'. Invitations went out as part of the Thank You note when presents arrived. We had it in the Village Hall. All the female relies from both sides brought sandwiches and baking, the menfolk retired to the pub while the bridesmaids and I 'showed the presents', and returned to share the purvey and dance to DH's band. A really great night a week before the wedding and an opportunity to have everyone there, rather like the modern way of having a smallish wedding and inviting all your friends to the evening party.

DH did have a small stag night with the rest of the band. As they had a strict 'no drinking when playing' rule they were not used to much alcohol all got legless. Dh tripped and fell on his wallet, cracking a rib. Made for an 'interesting' honeymoon, especially after I got sunburnt right down my front on the first day in Italy.

Ive been married and divorced twice and have never been to or had a hen night. Thank goodness.
However, all will change this summer. I am in the hen party for my OH daughter. The theme for dressing up has not yet been decided but it will involve a nightclub..........oh dear.

FlicketyB I agree about the mountain of debt. My brother has a theory that the more the wedding costs the sooner the couple split up!

I didn't have a hen night, DH didn't have stag night, neither did DS or any of his friends, and their (now) spouses have stag or hen nights.They are not anti-social losers. DH & DDiL seem to know half the population of the town they live in.

I think hen/stag nights are an overrated way to build a mountain of debt around getting married, which often undermines the security of the marriage fuelled by it.

In an ideal world marriages would be entered into quietly and thoughtfully and the parties could start on the first wedding anniversary.

We got married in '68 , I didn't have a hen night, but my DH had 2 stag nights ! Last year, my DD had a hen day ( 2nd marriage) , it was great fun. A lunch ,where everyone brought a dish, followed by an Abba video session ( I was a sniggering bystander ) they did " gimme, gimme , gimme a man after midnight " it was hilarious, & the resulting video was great. In the evening we all went to dinner at a pub in the next village. My poor DD was, I'm afraid not a well bunny the next day. Fortunately it was 3 weeks before the wedding.

We had a joint stag and hen night and invited our friends and family to have pudding (dessert) with us in a local American themed 'Diner'.
I organised my daughter's hen 'do' at a local winery where we had lunch and toured the vineyards; not expensive and suited everyone.

I didn't have a hen night, but went to DD1's and my (then future) DIL's.
Both were lovely dinners with friends and family (all female of course). DD1's was marred slightly by the antics of her future MIL, but that's a whole other story. But very enjoyable nonetheless.
I hope I behaved myself at my DIL's.

I like getting together with a group if women friends whether its Granetters, my old school friends or friends from where we live.
absent's leaving do was as raucous much fun as any hen do could be. Why bring marriage into it

I had a hen night in 1967, quite restrained by today's standards.
I don't think I could be bothered trying to party at my age.

I have laughed at some of your descriptions.

Tiggypiro I think my plates would read now 'Too old and knackered' !

I meet up once a year with 3 friends that I knew at Secretarial College in the 60s. We meet in Stratford upon Avon where I used to live. We have a lovely lunch and a good old reminisce.

When I am 70 in 2016 I think I will have a bit of a 'Do' with some of my girlfriends, but will definitely give the waiters a wide berth JessM

Atqui I saw this often when teaching in a school with a significant number of asian families. Even the little sisters and cousins would come to school next day and display their beautifully painted hands. The henna fades with washing and intricate patterns disappear over a few days.

I was reading a novel set in Afghanistan recently , where the bride had a
henna night. Henna was applied to her hands and feet in intricate designs, in the company of women friends and family.

Like grannyisland I had the 'show of presents' in 1969. A pleasant evening with neighbours friends and family - with sherry and babycham. I think this was a scottish custom as we don't take wedding presents along 'on the day' but deliver them a week or two in advance. I'm looking forward to this summer as my daughter plans the celebrations for her civil partnership. It's twice the fun when you go shopping for 2 wedding dresses! There will be a relatively civilised cocktail hour hen night after which we'll leave the young folk to have fun but no huge drunken jaunts are planned!

You might want to skip the ritualistic sexual humiliation of young waiters though

It doesn't have to be loud and raucous - go for it! We were at a large restaurant recently and there was a very sedate large group in the centre of the room, but they still had fun. They played word games and did puzzles and won small prizes.

I married in 1975, I had a 'hen' we were kept in check by our designated driver who was the lovely lady I'd been babysitter for for about 4yrs at the time.
DH had a stag too. Only problem being we were living in a very small town so by chance ended up at about 10.30 pm in the same Chinese restaurant

When I was working a group of us often use to have a ladies night out. We were in our 40's-50's but had as much fun then as a bunch of 20somethings.

We had one in the 1960s.

Kate how would you do it now? Would you dress up in silly clothes and go clubbing? I think you might feel a bit out of place . Of course if you were to decide on a spa day with lots of friends and then out for dinner please invite me!

Like you NanKate I had never heard of a hen night, but girls and their mothers used to have a 'show of presents' - all the present laid out for inspection and tea and cake served. I refused to do this, to the disapproval of relatives and no doubt disappointment of neighbours.

Why not, go for it I say, especially if it is going to make you happy and bring back happy memories

I enjoy the company of my close girlfriends, particularly going for a meal/coffee and a chat, more on a one to one basis than a crowd these days. although in my younger days we would have regular weekly meet ups with say about 4 to 6 of us, but it was really for a good old chat and catch up usually in a wine bar and we were never out on "the pull".

Similarly whilst my husband like the camaraderie he gets from the company of male friends, he prefers the company of women and does not like going to say an all male dinner. Neither of us would ever want to go on a hen or stag do. We have a timeshare in Bournemouth and avoid the town like the plague on week-end nights, when marauding hen and stag parties are on the prowl they make the whole place seem really feral. A friend of mine had to fly back to the UK from Malaga recently and said the airport lounge was chock a block with these parties, all British of course, and it seemed to her that they drag all members of the family along, including grandparents. She told her partner she would never fly in or out of there again cos the behaviour of the stags and hens was so awful. I think it's sad some young people feel they have to have these dos as it might give them the opportunity to have one last fling, if that's the case, perhaps they should not bother getting married.

Possibly it's generational, I think hen and stag dos, if indeed we had them at all, would have been on a smaller scale.

I had never heard of a Hen Night when I married in '73, but if I had I would certainly have had some kind of pre-celebration. My 3 daughters each had one - all in the best possible taste of course. Drinks and dinner for close friends and family for No.1; a chartered catamaran and swimming in Sydney Harbour for No.2 and a weekend in the Cotswolds (with a few high jinks admittedly) which included lunch in a local pub, the exclusive use of a private cinema with the bride's choice of film (Carry on Camping ) and a muddy walk round the lakes. I and the MiL's plus mums of their best friends were all included and not a pair of L plates, a set of wings or a wedding veil in sight!