Presents for special birthdays

A friend who likes Japanese food was given a sushi making class experience thing and loved it

Things to use, not ornaments, jewellery or 'stuff.' Please, save me from 'stuff!' Bushes that flower at the time of my birthday, theatre tickets, meals out, a nice experience like learning to temper chocolate and make hand made truffles, with lunch, champagne afternon tea with the person who gave me the treat, luxury hair products, vouchers for books. Things like that are better appreciated when you get to fifty or sixty and can usually buy something if you realise you want or need it.

In my spare room at the weekend, I fished out a few presents that are now clutter. A chicken brick, coffee machine (phoenix you can have it! ), long hostess heating thingy for hot food (used once at a christening), several Portuguese and Italian ornamental platters and dishes, a porcelain bowl for keeping tapenade warm (with tea light underneath), tapas set, a tagine, flouncy scarves (not me) and several part sets of smellies. They're going in the next charity car boot. I'm sure these gifts were all given in the hope I would use them, but I've either already got what I need or they aren't something I would use or choose for myself. I accept them gracefully, and give hints if asked.

I would add to those, vouchers for health/beauty spas if the person likes that sort of thing. I don't, but my sisters all do.

A rose with the person's name or similar is popular.

On the basis that many people simply do not want more "stuff" and pften specify No Presents, we have in the past given a blank Charities Aid Foundation cheque for them to give to the charity of their choice. Failing that - a rose for the garden, or garden vouchets, theatre tickets/vouchers.

DBH's is coming up also (he's younger than me), I am toying with various things. Maybe a cookery course, he loves cooking. He has had formula one days in the past. As he loves nice food, meals at horrendously expensive restaurants are popular. He is also a bit of a dandy, so expensive clothes for going out in are popular, he likes Duchamp. Sadly he will never possess anything more than shirts or underwear or cufflinks from them! Although he does have bow ties and cummerbunds from them too, these have all been big birthday presents that he has loved. Men are dreadful to buy for.

Other men - a smoker, for fish and sausages and meats and cheeses.

A remote controlled helicopter

A hanging safe for game, to keep vermin and flies off.

An air rifle

Fishing equipment, including a special net to catch crayfish in which was very cheap.

A leather briefcase

The above were all bought for my three sisters' various husbands.

For any of those birthdays, a nice (gold?) locket that could contain photos of loved ones - perhaps grandchildren- and could (in the very far distant future) be handed down in the family, perhaps to a grand-daughter.

(Nobody got me one )

By plants, I mean outdoor ones, preferably something that will be in flower at the time of the person's birthday. So last week I gave a friend a camellia for her 50th, as she didn't have one but does have suitable soil.

Once I bought a male friend a pair of pure silk bright red boxers - badly misjudged, as he loved them but his wife wasn't too happy about it!

Is this for nearest and dearests? Or friends? If it's friends, I tend to buy a plant I know they will like. Something that can be kept without it being yet another ornament.