What do you think of this way of using the internet?

Gorki yes, my son has often had bemused visiting lecturers at his past school getting a little irritated by the young man picking holes in their arguments. Not be be awkward, but to make them explain themselves more fully. His teachers quite enjoyed it. He would have been with your grandson, he insisted on going to a mixed school.

My little grandson too, on the autistic spectrum.Do you realise how very many there are in the Uk and how very few school places at either special schools or autism schools or autism bases. The 'experts' have decided on inclusion because it is way cheaper. It's a national disgrace! This mother has done what she thinks is right for her son, other children are often cruel or at least turn aside from autistic children, and their parents scuttle off in case they are contaminated.Intelligent autistic children like DGS know how different they are, can't do a thing about it and it causes real misery to them.

I can absolutely identify with your middle paragraph janerowena. My 6 year old grandson with autism is very confident much to his twin sister's delight who pushes him forward. Last term he had an argument with a local headteacher of a girls' school for not having boys in the school. He is always very polite which makes it sort of acceptable

My son has slight asperger's too, and has struggled with friendships, not because people don't like him, but because he can't recognise that they do. Birthday parties are fine while they are young and you know who their friends are, but it's much harder when they are at secondary school and are no longer with children and parents who know all their little foibles. I wouldn't have done what she did, but can understand it very well.

The thing is, he won't look at it the same way as you or I would, when he is older. Very little embarrasses my son. At Christmas he is our village's carol-singing secret weapon. How many teens do you know who are happy to walk to a door, ring the bell and shake the collecting tin and sing loudly and confidently (and beautifully!) at the astonished householder?

In fact, this has given me an idea. I shall advertise for a girlfriend for him on facebook. He says he can't afford one just yet though. He's nothing if not practical.

I get very worried about these kind of Facebook campaigns. This little boy will grow up and this stuff will still be on the internet. I am sure his mum has done it out of love and concern but what grown up wants it on the internet that he had no friends and his mum had to find him some!! The whole thing makes me a bit uneasy.

My youngest son was ostracised at school from very young because he did not enjoy football etc. He was bullied and called names etc. Eventually we found him a place at The Red Balloon Cambridge. A wonderful school with an optimum number of children 12 at the time and he flourished. All of the children there aged then from 11 - 17 had been so badly bullied that they could not go to mainstream school.

I love the idea and immediately send Birthday Greetings. As you say though it will not find him school friends but he may find a sensitive like minded friend on the internet. (of course scrutinised by his mum)

Yes Nellie - I was exhausted by a detailed description of a science fiction story my grandson is writing. He can talk non stop about areas of special interest. He did find a friend at 6th form, a young man so very like him. I suspect they simply talk at each other, but whatever makes life easier for them. At least the various spectrums are now being openly talked about, and named, rather than children just being labeled dim/a nuisance/etc

As Nelliemoser said: such specialist help is very patchy across the uk.
My DD fought for 2 years to get a diagnoses for this condition.
The school wanted him labeled with ADHD but we knew this was not the case.
We finally got funding for the diagnoses, even though it was outside our area.

I agree, Gorki.
My grandson was okay when he was in a small primary school. The football team members are all kids who had problems fitting in, and would not have been in the school team. They'll never win a league, but they enjoy being together and playing together, which is an achievement in itself.
The strange thing is that the high school they are in is the smaller of the two they could have gone to, but many of them are still misfits. I think the school has 1400 pupils.
My grandson is in what they call a nurture unit, which seems to have many kids who do not like school. The unit sounded good in theory, but he is too much of an individual in a nice way.
That happened, Gorki, in the village primary schools. He had people who knew him and would protect him from those who tell him he should not love his parents. He never sees them now in school.

I meant social skills for the so-called normal children who can be so very unkind as to exclude or bully someone who is different. Why can't we accept and rejoice in the variety of non-conformity ? All children are special and we should try to make sure they are all valued and accepted by their peers.

I know some adults who need social skill training!

Seriously I agree with this, but to do this for persons with Autistic spectrum disorders need specialised training and lots of time which means it is very difficult to fit into the time table of a normal school curriculum. Such specialist help is very patchy indeed across the U.K.

What follows is a generalisation!

In my experience, there are those in the Asperger's community who argue that they should not have to change or be considered as having a disability.

I feel sure a lot of people with this condition do find it hard to have good social relationships and this makes them prone to social isolation.

However being faced with someone talking at you non stop for 20 minutes is not fun and people will try to avoid those who do this. After you have head someone talking for ages and going off at so many tangents, you lose the will to live and have forgotten what the heck the story was about in the first place.
Sorry this is very close to home.

My grandson too. I wish social skills had a higher priority in schools rather than computer skills or at least alongside.

My grandson also durhamjen, he is on the spectrum and longed to have a friend throughout school. I wouldn't have wanted to publicise it, but can't find it in my heart to criticise this boy's mother. Agus, I only wish that talking to other parents, or the child's peers would make a positive difference. Generally speaking, it doesn't. Children who lack the ability to read emotions in others are not easy companions in the rough and tumble of childhood, sadly. Maybe this mum is doing others a favour, by continuing to high light these issues. I despair when people say too many children are being 'labelled'. In the past, too many children were just left, isolated and unhappy, bewildered about their inability to mix and make friends.

This sounds like my grandson.
He has friends in the football team, friends that he plays xbox with on the internet, including his cousins, but he is the only one from his primary school in his secondary class.
He is on his own at break times, and nobody in his class talks to him apart from to tease him or tell him he should not say he loves his parents.
He is autistic and goes through school like a coiled spring in case he is late and is given detention.
So from now on he is going to be home taught.

If the norm doesn't work, try something else. It's quite creative of her. Anything that makes people more aware, more considerate of the 'different' children is a good thing, surely. The years of locking them away are long gone, but it is still taking a long time to accept them. He will probably communicate with others far more easily on the internet as he grows up anyway. It has made them happy, that is what counts.

I don't think the mother has a problem. This seems to me to be a caring and loving thing to do and I hope it works out well for Colin and his mum, though like Elegran I worry it may go pear-shaped. Perhaps it might just prompt some of his schoolfriends' parents to think about whether they have put enough effort into teaching their little darlings how to accept children like Colin. How sad to think of him sitting eating his lunch on his own each day in the office "because no one will let him sit with them".

I absolutely understand the mother .It is heartbreaking to hear a child say "when am I going to be invited to a party ?" I would urge all mums to remember the isolated child with disabilities when they send out the party invitations

Neither would I Agus, but as you say, we all have our own ways.

I would never put myself or my child in the public eye this way.

We all have our own way when dealing with various situations and this just isn't the way I would choose for a solution.

Agus why would you think that the mother has a problem, or that she hasn't got friends amongst the other mothers?
The problem she is dealing with is that she has a son who is isolated at school because of a little understood disability, and she has come up with an ingenious way of helping him to celebrate a birthday that otherwise would possibly have been disappointing. I applaud this mother and her intentions.

I think the mother is the one with the problem. She appears to be enjoying the publicity and why does she not try interacting with other mothers, explaining her son's situation where she would hopefully receive some understanding and her son may possibly be accepted amongst his peers.

I really hope she doesn't do him more harm than good. He needs real friends.

I wouldn't dream of putting my child up for communication with complete strangers.

I have a DGS with mild Sensory Proccessing Disorder. I can fully understand how/ why this little boy has no friends. If its extreme young children couldn't understand what is going on. The poor little ones don't understand themselves.
I think what she has done is wonderful.

I do hope that this does not go the way of a similar appeal for people to send cards to a boy who was suffering from cancer. It went viral, and was forwarded by everyone to all their contacts. Twenty years later it was still going the rounds, sackfuls of cards were delivered every day by a very bad-tempered postman - and the boy had recovered and moved away from home years before. The snowball could not be stopped.

I think it was a lovely, thoughtful thing to do. And no, it won't 'make up' for Colin having no friends, but it will perhaps give him a little confidence and a feeling of self-worth that is often lacking in children with this problem. I have a parent's understanding of a child with a processing disorder, so yes I absolutely understand where she's coming from.