..anyone else awake??

Up late again, this time with my darling, darling son, who is so fun to be around. He's just put the bins out and hopefully is now off to bed. Yeah! Now, where did I put that ebay account . . .

Aw, jogging, thank you so much, you have really cheered me up. I will put the in some water.

The day went by, you know, what I really want is my health to improve, can't buy that. I got upset today and me and my DS had a heart to heart, him about puberty and me about menopause. It was very bonding, . But sometimes I bet he thinks I'm a terror and I'm not, just going through some changes which make me feel like I've been taken over.

Anyway, slept a fair bit this last couple of days. I hope you are better sleeping too. How is your daughter doing? Did she have a lovely birthday? I do hope so. X

Oh ruby - I'm so sorry, I must have missed the bit about it being your birthday - please accept my belated birthday wishes and some ? You are always so encouraging and kind to other posters on here taking lots of time to make suggestions and offer help. Have some more ? for your kindness ❤️ I hope the ice packs help with your feet and that you managed to get some shut-eye ... ??

Thank you grannyactivist for the birthday wishes, it was kind of you.

I don't know how some of you grandparents cope with your grandchildren when you have been disturbed of sleep. You are wonderful people.

I have been looking for some ice packs for my troublesome feet but I have found some on ebay eventually and ordered some. I don't spend much. I look for bargains. Hopefully they might help. Oh well, off to bed again, fan on, pillow under feet, get a few hours. Night night campers.

Hello Ruby - I'm still here too. Saw you had a birthday yesterday so many (belated) happy returns.

We've had an Iraqi asylum seeker staying with us for a holiday and now that he's left I have the grandchildren and their au-pair coming to stay tomorrow for a week - or possibly longer if I can cope - I'm overtired I think. Also we're barbecuing for about twenty people tomorrow so I really do need to get some rest. I'm going to switch off the laptop and do a sudoku instead. Goodnight.

I'm still up, tried to sleep but got back up and put Sandi Toksvig on on Fifteen to One, something just normal after watching a film or two earlier with my son for my birthday. I'll look round on here and see if I get tired again.

Ginny Bless you and your darling daughter to be up in the early hours to make your DGS's birthday special, he is a very lucky boy. He was born on a great day too, it was my birthday yesterday too.

Left handed boys do tend to have more problems with behaviour, I don't know why. There are left handed pens and pencil grips which can help with writing, it may help him. My DS is left handed too and had trouble with his writing and reading. He still struggles with reading, I don't think his brain works that way, not that he is not intelligent, far from it, it's just how he is wired.

Your daughter and you, are doing a fantastic job. Look after yourselves. Xxx

jogging Another birthday. I hope your DD has a lovely time and that she will soon be feeling better after some rest. Teaching must be one of the hardest jobs, she is a saint. Best wishes to all of you. Xxx

Again thank you ruby for your advice.... I have just ordered a garden sized Jenga game so I am hoping that will distract a little... also a set of wooden skittles - should be fun!!

DD has a birthday today and so she, and DGD are staying over with us tonight.... All is quiet. My DD is having a bad time with a flare-up of CFS and Fibromyalgia symptoms - I hope we can get her back on track during the next six weeks (she is a teacher)...
And they said retirement would be boring ... ???

Awake again, but had a better day yesterday and it's his birthday party today. He was so excited going to bed bless him. Coming from an abusive background, (alcoholic parents) we're never sure about whether he's having flashbacks, whether it's learned behaviour from other children, whether he has some symptoms of FAS, although he has no facial features.

I take your point about the card system. You're right, although yesterday was the first day he did any writing which he desperately needs to practise - left-hander and doesn't happily take up a pencil to write! He is a lovely child but can be very demanding. I don't know how my daughter finds the reserve to constantly put on a positive face after even the most exhausting time with him. He was so longed for and after all, it's his natural parents who let him down so badly.

Thank you for taking the time to support us. I really appreciate your kindness. 4.20 a.m. and I must try to get some more sleep before an excited child bursts into my room. My daughter is in the kitchen baking! XX

Ginny I would be a little wary of a card system. Playing up can be a low self esteem issue and to introduce something which will re-enforce him thinking about himself in a negative way won't do him any good, in my opinion. If I was naughty and someone told me with a yellow card I was naughty then I would just think that I was justified in my behaviour and that I must be bad. So he will do it again.

I think the walking away and then followed up with a hug and telling him that he is loved will lessen the bad behaviour. We all want to please people and he is confused at his age on how to do this. He is not playing up because he is naughty, he has emotions going on that he doesn't know yet how to deal with but with your love and support and guidance on how far he can go with his behaviour, he will come through. Just make sure there is nothing going on at school, bullying or him not understanding a subject or getting on with a teacher. Small things are huge at 8 years old. Best of luck love. X

Ginny I'm not preaching on here, I've just been in a similar situation and still am some of the time. My son has episodes of being awful and it is really hurtful. He can change on the spin of a coin from being lovely to mean. I have been through lots of different emotions and wondering what is wrong with him. I still don't know but now that he is an adult, it is for him to sort out and deal with if he wishes to. I have had him to the doctors, counsellors, hospital but he wouldn't open up and they wouldn't test him.

All I can say is that I have learnt eventually to ignore the bad behaviour and walk away from him. He is after my attention when he plays up so if I don't give it to him it deprives him of what he craves the most. He will get it when he calms down and behaves. I used to shout and scream and cry but all that did was feed his craving for my attention and he got exactly what he wanted so learnt that a tantrum equalled him getting attention from me, be it negative. I don't know why he felt like this as I have never been absent from being with him, never pushed him away when he wanted me, but some people are just like this I guess. My daughter was very much an attention seeker with me too. Maybe they just liked to talk to me?

So I would suggest, like you would if he was a toddler, ignore the bad behaviour, don't rise to it, don't take him on. He will learn then that he gets no response and hopefully the "naughty" times will decrease and the better behaviour will increase. It is hard, but walk away, make sure he is safe and if he won't go to his room, you walk away, leave him alone for a while. Deprive him of you for a few minutes. Same for his parents or whoever is looking after him. You all have to do the same or it won't work. My ex husband would go and get my son back out of his bed when he came home from work late so that he could spend time with him. Lovely you might think, but it totally messed with my son's head, he is very much a structured person so not a good thing to do with him.

Good luck, you get some sleep, look after yourself, it is important. You can't look after him if you don't look after you. Take care and let me know how it goes please. I hope I have helped a little bit. X

Thanks jogging your post made me feel better. Not good at present.

Your DGD. It depends which wrist it is she has broke? Is it her leading hand? All I can suggest is getting some board games or ones like Buckaroo, Frustration, those sorts so that she can play with one hand. Also jigsaws or books. Build her a den or get a tent for her in the garden. Does she like craft things? Create a scrap book with her or a photo album. Get her a little camera and take her out taking photos which she can put in her album. Does she like animals or science or whatever? Do a project with her over the coming weeks about where animals come from, what they eat, how they live, what preys on them, if they are the hunter or the hunted or do the solar system or the elements table. Teach her where gold comes from and other elements, chemical symbols. Does she like gardening? Take her to gardens to learn the latin names of flowers. If it's geography then get her a map and let her mark off different countries. Teach her counties in this country and states in USA. Do some cooking from the different countries for her to try. Watch the Olympics with her and point out the countries which take part. Maybe some Royal history? Maybe buy her a pet, if her parents allow, like a hamster for her to nurture and learn from. As you can see, when I home schooled it was never a quiet time! I hope you have fun, whatever you decide to do. X

Thank you Christinefrance - your advice is good and duly noted - I really am taking ALL advice on board. I hope your alarm worked and you were on time for whatever occupied you today ...?

Bless you ruby - you have so many issues to deal with but you are always there with helpful hints and encouraging advice. All taken on board ? We do have a garden helper and I have just taken on a cleaner as I can't keep all the balls in the air?
I have set out my 'lists' and I am hoping to introduce some structure back into my life when this period is done...? Your suggestions are vey well received ruby

Good news is that it's the end of term - which means no more collections and deliveries for six weeks - although DD is going to need help as DGD broke her wrist yesterday - she is an active little diva and is not going to enjoy being restricted in this way ...? How do you keep a cartwheeling/handstanding 7-year-old still for just a few minutes - never mind 6 weeks!!!? Ideas/suggestions very welcome....?

I really hope not to be on here tonight - for the best possible reasons....
Sweet dreams night-owls ❤️?

I've had a sleepless night worrying about the behaviour of my adopted grandson now aged 8. His behaviour ranges from being the perfect child for hours to being a little terror for hours, which is exhausting. I've spent most of the night reading advice on dealing with challenging behaviour! I came up with an idea using yellow and red cards as he's into football. They get no support where they live so we pay for consultations when they're in England.

Going to try to rest now before the day begins in earnest. The birds are singing. Hope everyone managed some shut eye.

Hi jogging nice to see you back and I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling under the weather. It is a worry about your mum and all I can advise is to be as honest with her as you think you should. Dementia can cause people to become very irritated and this might lead to her panicking. Have a word with the staff at the place where she is moving into and, if it is through a council, then the housing officer should help too. They will have had this experience before.

With regard to your hubby, I can only think of something like Calamine lotion to help with the itching of the skin. My brother had some spots of some kind which drove him mad but I don't know if they told him what they were but they were very itchy. Maybe ask the doc for a full blood count? Test him for his iron, vitamins and minerals if they can. How old is he, if you don't mind me asking? It may be hormonal?

I've just been on here trying to find some answers too to a couple of medical problems, it's terrible that we have to try and find things out ourselves and worry ourselves about them. I couldn't get an appointment for ages at the docs so I gave up. I am going though, in August.

Write your worries down, all of them, every time you can't sleep and see if it makes any difference. Try to sort out the ones you can do anything about right there and then, put "now" at the side and deal with it (say the washing up is annoying you or looking for a letter). Look at which ones you are doing your best for, like your mum, and put a "later" next to that one and then you can deal with it when you have got some rest. Ones like your husband, where he can help to find a solution too, then put "me and hubby" so that you can both work on sorting it out. Go down your list doing this, or add someone who you can get in to help, like a cleaner or gardener and then you will soon see that the problems are do-able, bit by bit. At the same time, do another page where you put down three positive things you have done in a day, no negatives. Look at it and think about yourself in a good way. You are doing your best, you cannot do any more than that. Look after yourself and you always have us to come and talk to. Please don't leave it so long next time, it wont help to ponder on your own. Xxx

Hi jogginggirl sorry you are having such a tough time. It's hard to sleep with so many things whizzing round your brain. Don't think there is a perfect answer for your Mum, just continue to be honest and say you will deal with problems as they arise , try to see the positive side of the help she will be getting.
As to the shingles think everyone is different with this and it can last for some time, wish I could help more.
I need to be up early so have set the alarm and consequently can't sleep. Hope things improve soon for you.

It's been a while since I have been on here.. Not because I have been sleeping well but because I have been feeling a bit low and overwhelmed at the same time!! Next week, my lovely mum will be moving into very sheltered housing (VSH). She has dementia and lung disease - 24/7 cover seems like some kind of solution ...?
I have discussed this with her every step of the way (I'm not sure how much she remembers) but, right now - she seems very positive about moving.

Her question is - what if I don't like it...? I have been completely honest with her so far but I don't have an answer to this question!!!

This is just one of the things that's keeping me awake tonight.... plus....
my DH has shingles and has had it for around 4 weeks now - he is in a lot of pain despite high levels of pain killers. Anyone out there have any experience of shingles and how long it takes to start to feel better ... ?

So many more things keeping me awake - but I am almost too exhausted to display them here...

Hope all other 'night owlers' are finding some respite or distraction ... night night xxxx

Anyone still up? I am because my neighbour has been noisy now since the football was on and it's still coming through the walls. I have been round and asked them very kindly to be quiter but they have had a drink so probably forgot that I had been once they closed the door. The mum is on holiday leaving son (21) at home alone. He had a party a few days ago which kept me up til gone 7am. They are really nice and would do anything for me so I don't like to moan but I am tired and would like to get some sleep now as I am at the dentist for 10 am. I can't wear earplugs and I do have noise reducing headphones which I bought because they have grandchildren there too all day normally screaching but to wear them in bed is uncomfortable. Oh well, a bottle of vodka it is!

Thank you all for your very kind words about my dad, they made me feel a lot better. Cherry I know, I nearly had that one too as I love the song and it is very poignant. Maybe a little cry did you good. We need to let it out every now and again.

I phoned McMillan on Friday and went round to the clinic they run near me. A lovely young woman sat and listened for a while, made me a coffee and gave me some really good advice. They have meetings once a month and she invited me to go and talk with others in a similar position so I will do that. Today I lit a candle and I had bought a photo frame for a photo to be put in but it is carved with inscriptions of love. It is now sitting with my dad's photo in on my windowsill.

Sleep has been terrible, it was 8 am this morning when I got to bed. Still got the itching thing going on and then my muscles jump too involuntarily. (I wouldn't move a muscle if I could help it! ) It messes up the day ahead. Today my son, dog and I went to Mc D's for tea, drive through and then to a beauty spot to eat it but it was foggy and we couldn't see a thing! Made a list of plans for this week, see how far that goes when sleep is so hard to come by.

I hope you are all tucked up.

Totally agree alea, maybe best ignored.

A young imp? Or an old git? Either way a comment in dubious taste.

I've that unsettled feeling that tends to predict a poor night. Infuriating as there are two busy days ahead which are bound to be tiring. I know it would help if I re-installed a Mindfulness exercise I find helpful, it disappeared when I transferred to a new phone. I have it on CD, not hard to transfer across, but just haven't done it. No point getting cross with myself at this point, sort of a tries hard, could do better I think . The energy is finite, the memory struggling, fibro-fog rules, I do the best I can. Hope anyone awake settles soon. Wishing a peaceful night to all.

Or an old one?

Alea there is young imp in our midst

What a tasteless comment to make Gononsuch