Silly really...

My Mum always reckoned an octopus had eight testicles!! She thought it was hilarious when we told her she was using the wrong word, but my poor dad was so embarrassed!

Whoops, sorry for double post!

When we're going out and it looks like rain we take our Under-Bellas...

When we're going out and it looks like rain we take our Under-Bellas...

Oh yes, nellie, my DH always reads the destructions ( or gets me to)

I think SiL thinks we are all bonkers.

MiL was a great one for spoonerisms. And the (now defunct) secondary modern schools we re always "second modernaries"
Laburnums are labernee-erniums (DH) and my nephew always called vinegar "viggernabuggar.
My niece (age 3) embarrassed said nephew at sunday school by singing The esso sign means happy motoring instead of the hymn.
Penguins are "pengits" (DD1).
And I always sing the appropriate advert ....

We too talk about a 'squeeze of lemming, Phoenix , and dont touch the wires or you will be electroplated. Gravy is always called 'Gravy Sal' after my late aunt was complemented on hers as in 'nice gravy, Sal'. oh and if someone says something crass and stupid they are told to stop being such a palestine (philistine). I do worry what others may think if they overhear it. Oh, and if offered seconds, the standard answer is to say loudly ' dont mind if I do' in a loud and greedy voice!

When I see Waldorf Salad on a menu I have to ask if it is made with "real Waldorfs". I had to explain to a shop assistant that it was a joke as she was off to ask the manager.

Sister informed DH this morning that neighbour had passed her exam with extinction, a little worrying as the neighbour is a nurse.

My husband once overheard a lady refer to aromatic duck as automatic duck. Ever since then this is what he's called it, even when ordering in restaurants.

DH asked for 'stiffy tocky' pudding some years ago - still used by the family, and if we forget we're not at home it can cause fair embarrassment in restaurants!

When my son was young he once got his words muddled up and then said
"Oh, I got my murds wuddled up".
We all say it now whenever the words don't come out quite right...

Seeing mention of 'Timothy' [the Ronnie Corbett character from Sorry!] reminded me that we do say 'Language Timothy!' from time to time. Terry Wogan was so funny on radio 2 but Ken Bruce is pretty good as well [and sounds like Terry Wogan.]Most families have their own little 'in' jokes, you just have to remember not to do too much of it with relative newcomers to the family, as nothing makes you feel like an outsider more than everyone laughing away, and them giving a tight little smile.I remember a family thing being to pronounce that things are in a state of 'choss'[chaos]and a friend saying quietly, 'do you mean kay-os?' Well, duh!

I tend to say, read the "destructions" instead of the instructions. Its often the same result. It must sound daft if people think I have just got the wrong word.

Monogamy = monotony (not really, but it raises a laugh)

Phoenix If your name is Marion (like a relation of mine) you have even more trouble with marianum superbum

Too many to mention, we have always played with words, people must think we are crackers. This morning for example 'There's an elephant of truth in that' and 'There's a fearful giraffe coming down the stairs'. Sybil's 'BasIL!' also crops up from time to time and DBH becomes Timothy whenever he does something his mother disapproves of. He is Timothy quite a lot. My handwriting is dreadful and this leads to many foods now having new names, spinach is now called sprelch, Courgettes became Lorgnettes.

Heffalumps - as in Winnie the Pooh.

Deedaa in our house it was Efalumps.
After my younger DD at aged three when watching the TV they showed a shot of the outside of Parliament said " they are not Budgies they are Pigeons" guess what the budget is called.

I was once asked, by a rather pompous acquaintance of DH, to identify a shrub that he thought might benefit from being moved. I told him it was Viburnum rhytidophyllum which is pronounced 'write it offalum' He thought I was taking the p**s and said as much to DH so I took great delight in telling him the common name for it was, Dead Man's Tongue!

Should have been "polygonatum"

I remember hearing Terry Wogan saying "To the woods men, and mind you tights" ! I don't know why, but it made me giggle!

It wouldn't be Christmas in our house without DH asking 'Would you like stuffing' and DS 2 saying 'No, thank you' to be greeted with a chorus of 'Well, you'd better behave yourself then'

On the subject of Terry Wogan - does anyone else think he's lost it now?

Deedaa you can imagine the problem I have with the plant "plygonatum superbum"

Not quite as bad as Mr P asking a member of staff at the garden centre where the trailing labia was though

DH refers to the computer as the confuser

Mention of Terry Wogan, Rockgran, reminds me of the real pleasure of his early-morning Radio 2 programme and laughter he and the others generated. It has never been the same since on R2, so perhaps we're better off to hang on to our memories - on that score, do any of you remember the shock of being Tangoed? The Safety 'Elf wouldn't like that these days, but is was very common in the old days.