The things they say.

Last week, when DS got home from work he asked 2.6 year old DGS if he had had a nice day, and been a good boy.
DGS hung his head, shook his head and said in a very sad voice, "No addy. I been bad boy. I been messing bout. Mummy not appy."

Apparently, not a word of it was true - he had been a little angel!!!

These are making me laugh so much

I was at a swimming pool with DD then three, while DS was having a swimming lesson.
I gave DD a snack after which she wanted to wash her sticky hands.

I suggested that she could go and wash her hands in the (nearby) toilet.
DD trots back in a minute "Mummy I couldn't wash my hands because their was a poo in there."

First trip to the dentist for 2 year old grandaughters this afternoon. It went quite well, apart from the attempt to clamp the dentist's fingers firmly between second twin's teeth. After giving advice about sugary snacks and drinks, and being firmly assured that our precious toddlers rarely have sweet things, first twin piped up 'bic-bic peez, mummy!' then blew her top when mummy said 'no, but you can have an apple when we get home.' She could be heard kicking off all the way back to the car. I laughed like a drain!

DGD1, age 4, sitting on the loo carefully examining the toilet roll then said "did you bring this toilet paper back with you from Australia Granny?" "No, why?"
"Well it's got koalas all over it!"

And so it had!

DGD aged 5,-"Anna (baby sister) was sick in the car yesterday,Daddy says she has travel sickness."
DGS aged 7-"But she was sick in her cot last night,she must be homesick."

Had lunch in a cafe with DD and DGC one a 3 year old boy. DD went off to the loo, she was a while and when she came back DGS squeaked loudly 'You a long time mummy, you do poo poo?' Quietly she answered 'No darling I just did a wee' DGS Loudly again 'But did you 'member to hold your willy down mummy' DD quietly again 'mummy doesn't have a willy' DGS 'But, but, but where do your wee wee come from then mummy?'

Thank goodness my DD is a calm and collected mother.

They are so funny, aren't they?

Sometimes it's not even the words, but they way that the deliver them that makes it amusing, isn't it?.
Apparently, DGS (age two and a half, and not a particularly advanced talker) looked at his daddy the other morning and said, "Like the jumper, Daddy". Not funny on the face of it, but said with such adult intonation that it sounded hilarious!

Where do they get it from indeed! DGS, when told to do something by DD1 bowed, took her hand, kissed it and said "yes, your Majesty"

And when I asked him to pick up one toy from the garden before the lawns were cut, he ran outside and sat with his head in his hands for about 20 minutes! DD1 asked what I had said to upset him.

I remember when my infant son once managed to knock over the nappy bucket (remember them???), in the lounge of all places. It's amazing how far a bucket of (dirty) water can go, even when it has a carpet to sink into!

DH's six-year old son, who was stopping with us for a few days at the time walked in and innocently asked, "has he spilt his drink?"

At the time I was too flustered to find the question amusing.

Aaahhhhh....retirement....being a grandmother.....no responsibility.....I love it!

Wheni'm They are not alone! My DD posted on FB this morning that DGS, singing "wind the bobbin up", with full actions, is not appropriate at 6:30am. on a Sunday morning.

My son was reading to his daughter but she eventually lost interest and started playing with something else so he put the book down and went to the loo. When he got back his daughter was sitting on the floor, head in hands, crying but wailed at him 'you hurt my feelings!

She was three in January! I blame the television!

Lona she'll be wanting a nap at lunchtime, but she's going through a phase of finding night time too exciting to miss!

SiL says he's just put my daughter down for a nap as she's falling asleep!

for your poor dd and sil
Does your dgd sleep during the day, or is she just a 24hr person?

DS' s version of 'wind the bobbin up' is 'wind the parents up'

I can't stop laughing. My daughter, mother of toddler twin girls, has just had a disturbed night as one of them has been wide awake and wanting to play all through the night, so she was brought into mum and dad's bedroom to avoid disturbing her sister.

She's just posted this on Facebook:

'Shattered, after she spent an hour sliding down my body shouting "wheeeee" so Daddy took over at 5am and she proceeded to cover her eyes count to ten and shout "ready or not"!

And if I hear "row row ya bo ently do a ree and if you see a occafile dont get to reem!" one more time....'

I can see me being in trouble for teaching her that verse

My younger brother drove the family mad when a jar of jam was in use - he would cry because he wanted the 'smiley' -- it took weeks to work out that he meant the smooth shiny surface you got under the paper disk that used to be on top of the jam - that's what he wanted!

PS: That was nearly seventy years ago..

when asked what flavour ice cream DGS 4 would like he excitedly piped up moustachio please nonnanoo
the green nut ice cream will never be pistachio again

We used to call any hooded jacket a Kermit, as the one I made for DS out of stretch towelling was bright leaf green. With his little skinny legs, he did look rather frog-like.

When we used to go out on cold winter days I always told DS1 (now 39 yrs old) to put his jacket hood-up. When he wanted to take it off, he used to say " Can I put my hood-up down". To this day we still call a hood a hood-up.

DH knows my printer is just about out of ink. He's just asked me, in all seriousness, "Can I print this without using ink?"

I don't know whether to be amused or worried!

When my youngest son was little he used to say...Mummy, can I wear your lipspick? He soon grew out of that trend.

My DGS (two and a half) tends to put a 'D' in place of any letter that he finds awkward. Hence, a cuddle is a 'duddle', and I suspect that we will all continue to use that word long after he has mastered all his letters!

Strangely, the one word that he won't start with 'D' is 'Daddy', which he always says as 'Addy'!

My son used to say N instead of L so used to call out 'Granddad, nunch is ready!'. not as bad though as when describing the character Sebastian in The Little Mermaid as a 'Nobster' . We still call out 'nunch!' to get people to the table.