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Pre Christmas support thread - if full of seasonal joy, please start your own threads

(121 Posts)
JessM Sun 01-Dec-13 19:29:28

This is a support thread for those who find December a difficult month.
I often find this time of year sad, as my family are all in the southern hemisphere. And I never much rated it anyway.
So far so good this year but not wanting to break with tradition I am starting a thread for those of us who have to struggle through the "festive season".
Please if you love it, let us grumble or weep in peace without injections of jollity.

Anniebach Thu 05-Dec-13 09:45:49

Seems I am wallowing, I will spend Christmas alone, will miss my husband, my parents, my younger daughter has moved quite a distance away, my elder daughter is ill, has been for three years and I cannot reach her, three days before last Christmas she took an overdose, thank God she survived, I adore my Grandchildren but not seeing them Christmas Day is I think easier because seeing them and their Dad without my beautiful daughter is too painful. I also fear my daughter may harm herself again. I feel sadness too for my younger daughter who has to accept yet another failed attempt of IVF, think it's her 12th. I should try to learn to be sensible and accept the 25th is just another day and stop any thoughts of past times when we were all together but strange how one can hear echoes of past laughter, I will also miss hearing the voice of my brother-cousin who died last week.

Acceptance is so easy to teach but so very hard to learn

celebgran Thu 05-Dec-13 10:05:18

Anniebah flowers. You have such sadness to cope with.

Very hard for you with poor daughter ill.

In throes of chest infection I a feeling very emotional and find it so hard to stop my thoughts going to past.

I look forward to feeling better and. My lovely son and partner plus 2 stepsons coming Xmas day.

The ache from missing My estranged daughter and our 3 Granddaughters including new baby is almost too much to bear at times.

wisewoman Thu 05-Dec-13 10:05:54

Anniebach flowers It is such a dull dreich time of year as well and curtains are closed at 4.00 so it is a long evening when you are feeling low. Christmas and New Year are often a time for taking stock and looking at all the sad things that have happened over the past year (as well as the happy ones). Take care of yourself.

Oldgreymare Thu 05-Dec-13 10:50:47

Anniebach so wonderfully put that I shall repeat it:

'Acceptance is easy to teach but so very hard to learn.'

flowers

annodomini Thu 05-Dec-13 11:18:36

Anniebach flowers

Marelli Thu 05-Dec-13 15:52:22

Anniebach....I can only echo the others' comments. Your grief and sadness is raw and despairing. I do so hope that your Christmas will pass gently and that the next year will be a kinder one. xx

PRINTMISS Thu 05-Dec-13 16:47:30

Anniebach such sadness for you, and I join others with their thoughts for you at this time.

Nonu Thu 05-Dec-13 17:18:04

* Annie* A big X to you

JessM Thu 05-Dec-13 17:42:09

Annie please accept a virtual Cwtch, cariad.

Note to self. Remember to call the wife of my dear friend who died a couple of weeks ago. I know her sons will be home from uni - but it is going to be a tough few weeks for her.

Ariadne Thu 05-Dec-13 17:51:26

May I add my voice to the wishes that are being sent to you in your sadness, and my hopes hat the sun will shine again for you.

Aka Thu 05-Dec-13 18:33:13

'Echoes of past laughter' that's it exactly Annie (((hugs)))

dustyangel Thu 05-Dec-13 21:38:49

Anniebach flowers

Anniebach Fri 06-Dec-13 09:53:19

I did hesitate over posting on this thread, I am so glad I did, such kindness and understanding, I thank you all X

Agus Fri 06-Dec-13 11:15:18

Anniebach I sincerely hope your daughter gets well again and last years heartache fades into the past. Also hope your other daughter hears some positive news soon and this season passes calmly for you.

Glad you didn't hesitate too long because you did choose the right thread and on the 25th this is where you can pop in again, anytime, for a chat. flowers

Anniebach Fri 06-Dec-13 14:20:57

Thank you Agus, my daughter has been so ill for three years , I can but pray she will be well again, I miss her so much.

I will pop in here on the 25th, thank you x

kittylester Fri 06-Dec-13 14:32:38

(((hugs))) Anniebach flowers

ffinnochio Fri 06-Dec-13 15:13:48

Anniebach The days are short - so here's some sunshine to hold.

Maniac Fri 06-Dec-13 15:32:14

Find even going to the shops for necessities quite stressful.
Third Christmas of denied contact with grandson,my ex husband very poorly in nursing home (we've kept amicable relationship) and both my
DDs marriages are having stressful times.
Another old friend died this week .
But all this is nothing compared to the sadness of phoenix and positivepam
flowers Love and hugs to you all

Agus Fri 06-Dec-13 15:56:59

You're welcome Annie I'll join you in sending thoughts of support and hope to your daughter in the hope that she can see a brighter future.

Look forward to chatting with you on the 25th x

sunflowersuffolk Fri 06-Dec-13 16:27:34

I have been feeling a bit down about this Christmas too - not for any particular reason like some of you. Just that the fun and laughter has gone, as the family has dwindled, compared to how it used to be, and it all seems a bit of a chore to me now.

But when I read some of your sad stories, and how you're making the best of it bravely, I feel ashamed of myself. Some have gone though such terrible times, it doesn't bear thinking about.

I do think this type of thread is really helpful because sometimes we need to let out our feelings of despair etc to somebody, yet don't want to upset friends/family by speaking this way. That's where GN is great, there is always someone kind and empathic to talk to.

You've made me decide to count my blessings, and make a real effort to have as best a time as I can. So thanks to you all and I wish you as peaceful and contented a Christmas as possible, and much happiness in the future. xx.

Bellasnana Fri 06-Dec-13 16:39:22

sunflower - you put into words how I feel also. I would love to have a house full of people at Christmas - if only all the lonely gransnetters lived nearer they would all be invited. Guess I will just have to make do with having them here in spirit tchsmile

sunflowersuffolk Fri 06-Dec-13 16:57:18

I know bellasnana, isn't it a shame there's not a way of linking us all up. Anyone who fancies a coffee with a like minded person. I have tried before on Woman and Home forum to meet others locally, but people in my area seems not that willing to meet.

Anniebach Fri 06-Dec-13 16:57:26

This thread has helped me, I never thought I could express my feelings as I have , I just say I am fine if asked. I don't feel so alone now x

sunflowersuffolk Fri 06-Dec-13 17:09:39

That's really good Anniebach. Bes wishes x

whenim64 Fri 06-Dec-13 18:39:22

anniebach and all of the Gransnetters who feel down in December, I've only just read this thread. I'm glad the support on here has been pouring in, having been on the receiving end a few times myself. I know some will be busy on Christmas Day, but many of us will find time to pop in and check we are all ok. flowers