My husband spoils me

Thanks for the welcome, this seems like a very nice site, so I will keep looking in.

I work in substance misuse (not a practitioner, I work in policy) but I have worked with psychiatrists in the past, and the one lovely doc I worked for had an agoraphobic patient whose greatest fear was related to bridges so he would arrange to meet this patient at one end of a bridge and then gradually deeper in until they were in the middle. We used to joke about wondering when it would be a 'bridge too far' - but it all had a good outcome over time, big improvement for the patient. Also the thing about needing a wee seems to crop up all the time, another one of my colleagues had a patient who was unable to go out because she feared she would need to wee and wet herself. Well part of her treatment was walking behind her MH worker through a busy shopping centre when the MH worker had doused her own crotch with a glass of water (I kid you not!) and the patient had to focus on counting how many people they passed, and how many people noticed. They passed 82 people and 2 noticed briefly (or something like that). All very interesting.

Hello JAB and welcome.

I'm waiting for my MH team to organise something but they've been arranging it for weeks and nothing has happened so it's down to me and OH to do something. I have to keep fighting although I have to admit at times it's very hard and I want to give up but then my OH will gently gee me along.

HelloJAB welcome to GN

Hello vampirequeen, I'm fairly new to this site so didn't know of your problem, but what a lovely story to be able to tell us all, it's good to know there are still some gooduns around, we only seem to hear of the others, so it was great to read your message, I'm lucky and got a good OH too. Perhaps if you can manage to do similar things regularly it may help with you feeling better about going out, that would be really special to hear.

vampire you are not a looney!!!! You are very brave to be pushing yourself to go into Town and into stressful situations.

It means I can't go out alone. I can go into the back garden but its as if there is an invisible force field across the front door. I can go out if someone I trust is with me as long as I tap on the door four times before I go out. I know I'm a looney lol.

Also I have to have someone with me outside to keep me safe because I can become overwhelmed by the light, noise etc which stops me from being safe as I can step out into the road without realising it. I'm also prone to panic attacks when I'm out if I become overwhelmed which can be really embarrassing.

It's just over a year since I went out alone.

I do fight it though. I try to go out as much as possible and force myself into stressful situations like going into town when it's busy. But it's very hard at times. Oddly the one time I can almost forget is when I'm dancing. I can go onto a dancefloor in front of people I don't know and just dance. I think it's because I feel safe with my OH and am distracted by the music and trying to remember the steps. I can't dance with anyone else.

What a lovely story VP - sounds like a Dennis Potter play! I can imagine you and hubby waltzing around the church hall!

I'm the opposite, very claustrophobic.

oh vampirequeen that is lovely, I too have fantastic husband who maybe I take for granted a little.

Agoraphobia sounds tough, well done for trying to fight it.

sorry to be ignorant but is that fear of going out I presume?
i have a weird irrational fear of needing to go to the loo and wherever we go have to know I can must admit I do need spend lots pennies.
Have had it for years long before our daughter cut us off.
I guess we all have our peculiar hang ups. It does make me tense at times but I refuse to let it rule my life.

You're all so kind. I just had to share what had happened because it was lovely.

wow what a lovely man ,for a lovely ladyxxxxxx

Dancers always have such a sense of rhythm too

vampirequeen What fun and how cherished you must feel – and, indeed, are. I bet you don't plod but float on air when you are dancing together. The sooner you do it again, the better.

He sounds lovely vq I wish there were more like him.

What a delightful thing to arrange for you vpq. You've got a lovely man there!

vpq A dancer, who is kind and romantic! What more could a woman ask for in a man ... [heart]

What a fine man, vampirequeen. I have a picture in my mind of you dancing to the music....and it's a lovely picture.

That was so nice greatnan.

It's things like this that keep us going and make us feel valued.

My OH really does spoil me and I love it. After 33 years with a man who treated me badly it's all so new and wonderful.

My OH is an amazing dancer. He does ballroom, latin and rock and roll. I plod my way through ballroom but really enjoy it. When I'm dancing I seem to forget everything that's usually messing up my head and just enjoy myself. The people at the local 1940s dances are beginning to be aware of my problem and make sure we have seats near the door so I don't feel trapped etc. People can be so kind.

My lovely employer once hired a village hall for me to roller skate.

phoenix is quite right - that jumped-up young lady who thinks you are a drudge knows nowt! Sounds as though you have a good'un there - you spoil him in return all you like - drudge indeed!!

Oh that's so lovely.

Agoraphobia is horrible. I had it after the birth of my first child. Thank God I'm rid of it now.

What a wonderfully caring, romantic man. You deserve each other, VQ.

That is SO good to hear, VQ! Lovely man; lovely you.x

What a heart-warming post, VQ.

Lovely story Vamphire , we are blessed to have thoughtful dh "s aren"t we ? x