Do you ever feel intimidated?

Well said, crimson

Whooooo! I just joined Gransnet today...at first blush it seemed such a calm, tranquil place - then I read this. I gather this isn't the norm - feuding Grandmas?

I hope everything settles down, not sure I'm up to sticking my head above the parapet yet.

The feuding was incredibly polite!

Hello, sel, and welcome . Nice to see your head above the parapet .

crimson, agreed.

selwelcome. Most of DO NOT ARGUE! DO WE

That should be most of us

petallus How can I actually threaten anyone – even if I wanted to? (I don't.) Do try not to be silly and just think about it. I just meant I recognised the same old, same old every boring time it came around, regardless of changes of names. What on earth did you think I was going to do?

Faye I have absolutely no recollection of anything you have ever posted, apart from the recent one on this thread about sniping. I am not stalking you or deliberately sniping. Life is too short.

I thought this thread had died the death, but apparently not, so here I go.

Elegran I am not plaintive. I don't remember signing up to any agreement about being plaintive. I am, so far as I understand, allowed to post about how I see things whenever I like. People have had their say about how they feel that they are being intimidated; when I suggested that I found their frequent claims of intimidation spurious and, therefore, offensive, wrong and irritating, suddenly I am one of a trio of hawks attacking a dove. And please don't tell me this is a joke. Mummy, daddy and baby hawk – what? Especially when the poster has already made it clear that she is aware that hawks don't hunt in groups. (In fact, the exception is the Harris hawk – not native to the UK, whereas I am – which does hunt in groups. This enables it to go for larger prey – not doves.)

I am all for pouring oil on troubled waters, but please don't patronise me or tell me what I may talk about.

absent I was somewhat taken aback to see your post just now.

I wracked my brains to think what you were referring to and then started to reply directly to what you say, but then thought .....

I would be more than happy to let this go. Those few days were a horrid time on Gransnet and a lot of us got a bit worked up and upset. I was exhausted at the end of it all and felt I never wanted to log on again, though I did obviously.

Would you be prepared to draw a line under the whole thing and start again?

Best Wishes

johanna What is the problem with assertive? Our robust posters come in for a whole lot of s**t. life gets tejdus, don't it.

Please please please!
Lets all draw a line.
Just a thought!
Can we ask Geraldine (very politely) to delete this thread?

Don't remember saying you were plaintive absent

However I do remember how nice it was when everyone agreed to call it a day and move on to talk about other things instead of wasting our time arguing about who said what to whom and what did they really mean, and then even managed to joke about it.

What a gift we are making to those who think we are a lot of squabbling bitches!

petallus You suggested that I made you feel threatened. I was responding. We all have to be responsible for the posts we make.

What does draw a line mean? We agree to disagree? The whole thing never happened? We all kiss and make up? What? I feel very strongly about the "victim card"which I have seen played numerous times when the poster doesn't think she is 'wining", as if this is some sixth-form debating society with a silver cup at the end oft all.

Winning, not wining. I hate these acrylic nails.

I have just looked freshly at this thread title. The answer is – yes.

When a new group forms, people often fight a bit before it settles down. If some new members join, it may repeat the process. This happens on GN from time to time. I'd estimate about every 3 months. And then it settles again.

I never did think you were referring to me absentgrana because I have not changed my name. But saying 'I know who they are, they know who they are' without saying who they are is still discombobulating.

But really, this is a bit of a dead horse to me now. I don't think I can enter into any further debate on the matter.

If we DONT flaming kiss and make up, what exactly is going to happen? There is no way that this discussion is going to end with either extreme winning. As you say, absent it is not a debating society exercise where one lot gets to win and the other to lose. WE HAVE TO AGREE TO DIFFER or else we will fight to the death. The loser will be everyone.

I will state my own opinion and then I am going away. This is getting more and more boring with every post.

Gransnet is not merely a debating society or a school playground where the strongest destroy the weakest. Neither is it merely a platform for furry pussycats to purr about sweet pink frilly thoughts and avoid controversial issues.

It is a social network where thousands of not-so-young people (mostly women but not exclusively) virtualy meet one another to discuss all kinds of issues, from trivial to serious, from global to deeply personal. We laugh together, weep together, support those going through trauma, rejoice with those who speak of family celebrations and private triumphs. There are hundreds of diferent threads, posted by hundreds of different people all with different personalities.

OF COURSE not all of the threads are perfectly amicable. Is every conversation in real life perfectly amicable. We agree, disagree, get shirty, over-ride onn other, fall out, make friends again.

But what we should NOT do, in real life or virtually, is to allow resentment to continue to poison our relationships into the future. sometimes we continue to see things from different viewpoints, however long a subject is discussed.

In that case, as here, IT IS TIME TO STOP REHASHING AND MOVE ON.

And now I am off to try and hear my grandson's beautiful violin.

Jeni I think asking to have this thread deleted is a good idea, if that's possible. I've been following it tho not posting (as is often the case with me) and it just goes round in circles and people get more and more entrenched in their own positions even when others try to 'draw a line'. absentgrana in this case I understand that expression to mean that we accept what's been said by everyone, whether we agree with or not, but now don't need the thread to continue as we all actually want the best for all Gransnetters.

There have been some excellent suggestions both for those who feel upset by posts and for those who may not realise how others can be upset by their posts. Perhaps we can all learn from it, without needing to keep making the same points (on both sides) over and over again.

I'm away tomorrow till Saturday evening and really hope this thread will have dropped off the 'active' list by the time I get back and that peace and harmony will have returned to GN (well as much peace and harmony as is possible with such diverse personalities and posters!!)

And I have now discovered that there is a fault with the webcam, so I have a silent concert to watch. Well, at least it is peaceful.

I was astonished to find that this thread had been revived. Please let it die a natural death. RIP

Agreed,Anno.

GNHQ please see my post! Of 17.22!

I'll second that jeni

I second, or third, or whatever, Jeni's request for this thread to be removed. Not only because it will clearly last for ever, as nobody will concede the last word. But because as long as it remains here in print, nobody will forget who said what and to whom and why, and the hurt will just go on for ever.
Please, GNHQ, make it all go away.