Missing Schoolgirl Megan Stammers.

I think we all agree about that. But, if we don't ponder on how this all came to happen we won't be able to prevent such things happening in the future. Schools are so different to when I was there, with pupils and teachers having much 'friendlier' [for want of a better word] relationships. It's all supposition anyway; as has been mentioned, all we know is what we've been told by the news media and we all know how suspect that is at the best of times. However, I sincerely hope that we don't get a spread in a magazine about 'our terrible ordeal' [or am I being cynical?]. Also, I'm concerned that my own interpretation of events is bordering on the 'well, she was asking for it' train of thought which often seems to be the case with crimes against women with men being the victim of being lured to their fate. This is really the sort of thread that needs us all to sit round a table and discuss it rather than writing things down, as it's difficult to put points across without sounding judgemental. I'm just thinking out loud really.

It has always happened, back at least as far as Abelard and Heloise, though that does not make it right, of course. His punishment was castration, which is pretty drastic.

I really don't accept that this was a case of being 'in love'. Yes she possibly targeted him with all her raging hormones, yes he is probably weak and immature, but the fact is that he is a teacher, he should know the score and he should, for his own protection know the law. We have to be able to trust teachers to keep to the boundaries, not expect children to protect them from themselves

But she would have had the protection of the law for more than two years. The law makes it an offence for a person in a position of trust to have a sexual relationship with a child under 18, not 16

If Megan had been a year or so older she'd have been so in age only, and probably not in 'maturity', as such. What seems to have happened here is that they fell in love. Wrong to do anything about it, but hearts have ruled heads.

My DD a rebel and a wild child just after her 17th birthday ran away and lived in a squat with a man then aged 38 ,5 years my junior,she had been sexually active from the age of 15,she did not dress or look provocative it was part of who she was that drew men to her of all ages.

I also wonder about a teacher who leaves school, goes to uni [an extension of school] then teachers training for a year [which, these days just involves going and working at schools for a year, not actually being taught how to teach] and then works in a school. Does it somehow curb some of the emotional development of a 30 year old? As if they've never actually left school. I also wonder about how much advice they are given about possible problems with pupils? Probably not as much as they should have I'd imagine.

Yes, certainly a muddy issue. I don't think sexual maturity necessarily goes hand in hand with emotional maturity, and there in lies the rub. I guess a law-line has to be drawn somewhere.

Devil's advocate position: what if she exploited him initially? Targetted him with her 'crush' and he, being a weak character and not happy in his marriage, couldn't withstand it. What if? Does that change how we look at this?

What I'm thinking, and what has made me make that comment is the thought that children (children look you) don't have sexual feelings. That is my thought. It could be wrong, but to me it almost defines what a child is. Once a person starts to have sexual feelings strong enough to enter into a sexual relationship – whether right or wrong is not the point I'm labouring here; just that it happens to teenagers at various ages depending on their 'animal' maturity which, like other developmental stages, must vary quite a lot. I'm questioning the law that says a person is a child at fifteen. I think that's debatable.

I do understand the reason for having the age of consent, but I still think Megan is not a child in reality, but only under the law. In reality, I see her as a young woman. I'm not saying we should change the law. I think it's a muddy issue and always will be.

I can't add much apart from agreeing that Forrest has shown himself to be immature, foolish and somewhat dysfunctional, Megan 15 going on 25 - yes, legally a child but in a matter of months it would not have been a child protection issue. As a teacher he should have known better but he isn;t the first to ignore the line and won't be the last.
I am reminded of my English teacher at school who ( I imagine in his 40's, maybe 50's - he seemed old to me! and single) appeared to be getting close to a glamorous widow whose daughter was in the Sixth Form. Next thing we all heard was that she left school and promptly married him! Perhaps people were just more discreet in those days, but it was a close run thing.

Children and human nature dosent change,it is the world about us that changes,the school leaving age for our generation was 15,and we where considered adults,in the dim recess of my memory a girl Of my age just after we left school was in a relationship with a 27year old man,her parents were not happy,but no charges where brought or stigma attached to the relationship,the school leaving age has been raised so they are schoolgirls for much longer and I think the perception of a schoolgirl along with that,I can still remember all those awoken unexplained raging hormones,but mine where played out in the work place and not at school,with young male managers in their late twenties early thirties,another girl married an older man having a child just after her 16th birthday,it was gossip and nothing more,she had left school.

As usual, the behaviour of those involved is being interpreted in different ways in the press. The stepfather is reported as putting his thumbs up to show his euphoria and relief that Megan has been found in one paper, yet this is seen as inappropriate elsewhere. Megan is described as dressing and acting far older than her years, yet the photos of her leaving with Forrest and boarding the plane home show her dressing appropriately for her age. We've seen enough photos of her in her school uniform to tell that she wasn't dressed as an adult at school. It appears that, like many 15 year olds, she often dressed up and put makeup on. Megan may not be an innocent child, but she is entitled to the full protection of the law, her parents and the school, until such time she becomes a consenting adult.

Everyone seems to have misunderstood my point. I think Megan looks exactly like a fifteen-year-old girl; she does not look older than her age. Modern society has a distorted and wrong picture of adolescent girls, trying to pigeonhole them into a state of prolonged childhood. They are a seething mass of hormones with a desperate and usually unreal desire to be independent adults. 'Twas ever thus and that's why some contemporary societies and our own in the past kept a very tight rein on them. Think chaperones, for example. This may or may not have been a good thing but it recognised the nature of the creature. And yes, I am aware that this a generalisation and there are exceptions.

Haven't got time to read other story. But at fourteen, definitely a child. Obviously not innocent. More's the pity shame of people in contact with her.

I don't think Forrest has been disgusting. Stupid, yes. Immature, yes. Devious, yes. Unprofessional, yes. Wrong, up to a point. Megan is not an innocent child.

Which is not to say I'd like this to happen to MiniBags.

"But if rules had been different, it might have worked"

Maybe I misinterpreted that.

(Shouldn't be on here ! Got family coming! )

If any of my kids did anything disgusting, I'd be disgusted. Doesn't mean I don't love them.

Something I read suggested to me that his marriage was not a great success anyway. In fact, isn't it bloody obvious (now, with hindsight) that it can't have been?

Perhaps what I'm trying to say is that men of all ages need protecting from themselves. Perhaps it's difficult for them to admit to how they feel for fear of losing their jobs. etc. You'd also assume that his wife should have sensed that something was wrong but, again, I was oblivious to what was happening in my own marriage. Either way, I'm sure that things will change in the education sytem after this. I also feel uncomfortable about the way her stepfather has behaved [photo's of him giving a thumbs up to the press]. I would have thought a more dignified attitude would have been more in order. I know I've mentioned this before about other subjects, but I've often wondered how I would feel, as a mother of a son, if my own son ever did anything awful because I'm sure my love for him would overide any disgust I felt at what he'd done. But, as with most situations none of us know how we'll feel until it actually happens.

JO4 no-one has said Megan is an adult woman.
Crimson referred to her as a child/woman which reflects the transition period that all girls go through, and Nellie's vivid description of her DGD's friend is in my opinion a sadly accurate picture of some 13 year-old girls.
At what age should we expect girls to be aware of the effect their behaviour has on others?
And a 14 year-old girl has been charged with murder.
Do you think she was an innocent child too?

She is fifteen. That is only four years older than my elder grandson, who is, most certainly, still a child! She cannot have matured into an adult woman in four years!

This would be wrong in any scenario.

I don't care what happened in the past. Or in other parts of the world.

I agree with much of what has been been said here, except that as a more 'enlightened' society we have agreed legal rules to protect children before they can give informed consent because we all know there is a huge difference between the emotional maturity of a teenage girl and her ability to negotiate an adult relationship with anyone, let alone a man who is twice her age and in a position of trust. He appears to be immature in some ways, but the level of deceit he has used to try to keep them from being found is calculated. He learned he was about to be suspended and she took her mother's passport to get out of the country with him. He was the one who abandoned his car, cooked up a false name and CV, and moved them from one hotel to another. There's more to come, I'm sure. I wonder if he regrets the way he has treated his wife, arents and Megan?

My son is the same age as Jeremy forest,and completely horrified that a man of the same age has had a relationship with Megan,he has said that it is wrong on all levels with the age difference.
We have just had E's friend P stay for some time during the 6 weeks holiday,she is 13 3months younger than E both girls very physically developed,mentally P is the older of the two,she is ready for boyfriends her whole conversation revolves around this[irritating] she is more inquisitive and she has older sisters who have had children at 16 if fact she is auntie to 4 children from two sisters not yet 20,so this would appear normal to her,she looks a lot older,being naturally blonde,she dyes it even lighter,wears push up bras of her sisters(she brought them with her) cast off clothing of her sisters much too old for her she wears full make up every day and would pass easily for 18,she decided she liked my son (he was oblivious seeing her as E's friend) she would sit next to him lay all over him and keep poking him and generally trying to get his attention,I felt really uncomfortable and mentioned to him he had to be aware and careful of this and not to be alone in the room with her,again he was horrified it was an uncomfortable situation.

Bags; as ever you seem to have articulated thoughts I was having that I didn't know how to say without possible fear of misinterpretation. What I was thinking was that, in the past [and also in other countries/cultures] 15 is not an age that is too young to have a relationship with a man, either of the same age or older [but more probably older as a 15 year old boy is still very much a 'boy']. What this teacher has done is wrong; very wrong in the fact that he is older, married and in a position of trust so there is no excuse for what he has done. Women and men approach relationships in different ways, I feel. I realised this when my husband had an affair which ended our marriage. Not only did I not recognise him as the same person I had known for 30 years, but he had no awareness of how his feelings for this women would affect those around him, especially me and, more importantly, his children. His love for the women was like an addiction and he had no thought of 'the future' in any way, only the present and his need to be with her. And, for a man this is a physical need; I can't believe that the teacher had totally pure thoughts about his love for the schoolgirl. As for a 15 year old girl,well, I can remember the total confusion of being that age; all raging hormones that I didn't understand; I mean, you only have to see how teenage girls react to 'boy bands' [I was watching archive footage of The Beatles the other day, where they were in danger of being ripped apart by adoring fans; don't think boy fans behave in this way]. At least the teacher is not a paedophile in that he has fallen in love with a child/woman and not a child. In a way the problem with what has happened is how we have framed the rules in our society. But, now those rules are in place they must be adherred to and people in positions of authority/trust must abide by them or face the consequences. It's just that I think the whole situation is a very complex one and even the most decent of men can be tempted in ways imposiible for women to comprehend, because we look at love and relationships in a totally different way. I wish a man/men would give his viewpoint as it would be interesting to hear. I must point out yet again that I am not condoning what has happened, but I have seen the most decent man you could ever meet consumed by a passion that was akin to being addicted to a very potent drug and it was a complete shock.

Agree with the last two posts.