Forum etiquette.

kitty and Meercat and Uncle Tom Cobbly and all...and all...

I haven't been a Gransnetter for very long and haven't posted often. When I joined I was certainly made welcome and haven't felt got at or excluded by any 'cliques'. I don't think it is bitchy here either although I have certainly seen some quite confrontational posts.

I suppose joining Gransnet is like joining any other kind of social group, you need to get to know people and need to get to know the tone of communication used in the group.

Whatever anyone thinks about Gransnet you could never say it is boring here could you.

Crikey Moses!! this isn't the same Gransnet I enjoy. or, on second thoughts,

granbunny I sense that you are smarting from a percieved unkindness that saddened you some time ago. Please will you permit us to try to make amends? Gransnet is most certainly anything but 'bitchy'...a great deal of genuine kindness is offered on this forum. There is more than enough to share between all of us

anagram, they had no reason to think such things, except their own desire to be unwelcoming. calling troll is a foul thing to do. following people from thread to thread to be unpleasant is unkind and unwelcoming. taking information posted in one thread and using against someone in another, specifically , suggesting the new member might have mental health issues (thus trying to undermine the points they made), i would maintain is disgraceful behaviour. byegones? possibly. but i'm talking three weeks here, the memory is still fresh!

greatnan, i am not in a position to correct spg, and have invited anagram and those who are confident in that area to correct mine. i do, however, reserve the right to draw attention to really nasty remarks made by some people - on another thread for example. my issue isn't spelling. my issue is the unkindness of the comment.

generally, one of the nastiest things about gransnet is the way people continue to snipe at each other, referring to past issues and so on.

i have probably mentioned before that on another forum, someone said 'if you want to know 'bitchy', try gransnet!' i can see what she meant.

but i'm old and i'm a gran and its still a public forum, so i'm still here!

When I see cliques forming I disappear. When I see rudeness and cruel comments, I challenge them and if the person is not listening, I'm not wasting any more time, I will stay out of their way.

I come on Gransnet for a convivial atmosphere and to hear people's news, offer support to those who are having a difficult time, share a few laughs, and enjoy the occasional Gransnet party. I have received lots of support, too, when my twin grandaughters were born scarily early, and when I was denied contact with my grandson for a while.

It feels like everyone is welcome on here that is courteous. It's rare to get someone who comes in with all guns blazing to have a go at us, but it has happened. I was made welcome when I joined, and I always try and welcome anyone whose name I don't recognise if they say they have just joined. Can't catch up with everyone as I'm not on here 24/7 (although some days when I don't go out it is soooo tempting!)

It's agreed that it's ok for us to have different opinions, but not to be rude or offensive to people. Some people do enjoy agitating - it's their nature. Others are peaceful by nature and don't enjoy sparring. Good job we're all different, eh?

I am not sure what a' long-established' member can be on a forum that is just about one year old. And is there supposed to be a limit on how many posts we can make before we become a clique?
Of course we will find that there are some members who are on our 'wavelength' and with whom we share certain attitudes towards important things like religion, politics, and bigotry. That does not mean that we will be discourteous to those with different views, but anyone posting about such subjects must be prepared to hear arguments from the other side.
I stick to my view that it is rude and unnecessary to correct another member's grammar, spelling, or punctuation.
When I do not agree with a post, I try to reply in a logical, courteous manner without getting emotional about it.

By the way, if anyone would like to join my gang, please pm me.

granbunny, your initial posts were rather quirky and led some to believe you were perhaps not genuine, maybe even a troll. That was obviously a mistaken impression, and I think we have all got to know each other a bit better by now. Surely you can let bygones be bygones?

nuttynana...there are countless good, compassionate, wise, and funny people on Gransnet. It has been a real refuge for many, including me. On rare occasions, individuals spar, and a few feathers get ruffled. That said, I still believe that the sincere support that is offered and shared between members, is beneficial beyond measure.

and there were four posters whose kindness will not be forgotten, though i'm sure they won't want to be named!

yes, nuttynana, you arrived shortly after the two they'd tried to drive from the board...

Granbunny -
- I am a new poster , my first was about needing friends and take a look at that thread, everyone was so kind and I was certainly made to feel welcome. Yes ,there are certainly some regular, long established posters who have built up a relationaship., I for one enjoy "lurking" and enjoy their banter . I am not so quick witted nor have I yet been able to get an emoticon to work!
When I am the new girl at any gathering I usually stand quietly on the sidelines to get a "feel" for the place. If I don't enjoy myself I chalk it down to experience and don't go back.

I have to agree. Its almost one year since we started and it has been getting quite cliquey lately. This handful of regular posters needn't put you off granbunny On the other hand if they stopped posting, GN would be much less interesting

Greatnan I picked up on '.......What doesn't is a whole thread on the desirability of children standing every time an adult enters the room'..... So I put 2 and 2 together and made 90!

I personally think that overall the forum etiquette is pretty good and well controlled which shows that we are very nice people all in all. We're bound to be irritated or upset by some posts because we've only got words to read and no body language to counteract or go along with what's being written. Emoticons help a bit but even they can give the wrong impression. I don't think on a forum we can be too sensitive. However I think rudeness is a no no and should be dealt with.

granbunny A big, warm welcome

granbunny, in what way do you think new posters are made unwelcome?

my goodness.
gransnetters are so aware of the failings of others and so blind to their own. with regard to forum etiquette, why not establish some 'rules'? but think about them first because at the moment, they would have to include:
'make new posters unwelcome'
'be ruled by a handful of established posters'
'fail to recognise your own unkindness'

i think you should be honest with yourselves and others.

I am not sure how you get than impression, goldengirl. This thread is about forum etiquette and has nothing to do with standing up for adults.

It wasn't your thread, goldengirl - it was something else entirely!

I popped in to see what this thread was all about and was surprised to see that it was my thread on children standing up for adults that seemed to have started something unpleasant! I've not got a clue what's going on so perhaps I should back out fast!

And me!

I certainly don't sound like her, Carol! Life is one long compromise, isn't it? I am able to do just what I like because I don't share my life with anybody.
Not everyone's choice, but it suits me.

You sound like Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey Greatnan. 'What is a weekend?'

I managed one and half hours before it got too wet and windy and it certainly does raise the spirits.
I love Saturdays - leisurely bath and breakfast, bit of gransnetting/Facebook, long walk, light lunch, Radio 4, ........Oh, yes, that is what I do every day!

Greatnan - Enjoy your walk. Being at one with nature is good for the inner spirit.