Going into care.

To be honest, I don't think that I would want either of my children having to care for me in my old age, they have their own lives to live. My husband however, believes that there is an obligation on children to care for their elderly parents.

You will only be following her if you choose to do so. It is not your daughter's place to say where you will choose to spend your last years. She is out of order here and assuming that this is her decision and not yours.

My children have said very clearly that they would want to look after us in our old age; but we have said that we will need to make our own decisions when the time comes (assuming that we are able to) and that we do not want them to spend their lives providing care for us. They come back and say that we cared for them when they were little so they will care for us when we are old. They have also seen from my own parents that sometimes care in a home is better than that at home.