Breavement counselling

DH died during COVID so nobody to see face to face. I tried Cruse but I am sorry to say it wasn't for me. A crackling phoneline. I couldn't hear her and when I did it seemed she was in a worse state than I was. It's widows supporting eachother.

My friends, family and Gransnet have been my best support.

So sorry for you. It's hard.

The MacMillan nurse rang me a few days after Himself died suggesting I might wish to try some counselling sessions ‘in view of the last awful ten months’. I said I’d think about it.

A few weeks on, after I’d dealt with the ‘sadmin’ I thought why not? Give it a go and if I don’t find it helping just say thank you for your time and move on.

Long story short I attended for eight 1-1 sessions. One hour. I cried so much those first 3 but I felt lighter afterwards. My chest had felt so heavy, as though full of wet sand.

I shared so much with my counsellor. He listened, passed me tissues, helped me to explore my fears, memories and feelings.

Whatever you decide OP I’m sorry for your loss. It’s beyond devastating isn’t it? Until it happened to me I had no real idea. My best wishes to you going forward.

I have been seeing a private thesis for the part two years. It’s someone to talk/yell at and get the frustration and injustice out.
Gp/nhs talking therapies just offers a ten minute tick box exercise for six weeks in my experience and medication. - not helpful in my experience, patronising at best. St Giles and macmillan bereavement therapy said I was “too grief stricken” to be allowed to attend either of their groups.
Guess who do not get my charity.

Thank you for your replies

Never offered it, but wouldn’t want it.
It’s just not for me, but we’re all different.

I am sorry your husband has died.
I had some counselling from CRUSE. It was over the phone as it was during covid.
I did find it helpful to offload all the years of challenges onto an outside person as my DDs had their own grieving to do and did not need to hear about all I had been dealing with.
It is such early days for you and many of us know how hard this is. You will learn to live alongside this loss as time goes by. Take care.

I have my first session this week. It’s one-to-one in person at the place where Dh died.

They did indeed contact me at around 12 weeks after, but the waiting list for 1-2-1 was long so it’s taken another three months for me to get to the top of the list.

The hospice contact/nurse said she would refer me for counselling at I think 12 weeks. So she could well contact me soon. But I expect I will have to make the first move.

The GP have offered nothing. I expect I would have to request it from the surgery.
I am just wondering which agency GNs found helpful.
Telephone or face to face? Individual or part of a group?
I am reluctant to be part of the group I see in the local library as I feel that is advertising you are on your own and maybe vulnerable.

So sorry HelterSkelter1 really... only 12 weeks since losing your DH.

It's well over 12 months for me, but sometimes the grief is as raw as it was in the beginning.

Do you need counselling? Go by how you feel I think. If you feel you really want to - must talk to someone then that's the time.

I thought about it, but decided ultimately that what I really wanted to do - was talk about him, and I did, with people who knew him.

It's still very early days for you .

Can't advise who to contact - but, maybe try online counselling within a group to start with, to see how that feels and if it offers any comfort?

HelterSkelter1, I’m sorry for your loss. Those words might not bring much comfort, especially when they’re from someone you don’t know, but there are no words that really bring comfort at this time.
My husband died 18 months ago after a long illness. We’d been together for 55 years.
My GP asked me if I’d like to see the Talking Therapist who was based at my surgery. I did visit this person and he really did help me to put things into perspective. I saw him over a number of weeks until I decided I might not need to keep seeing him. He said that I could go back any time if I felt the need to.
It’s such early days for you, but it might just help you if you could speak to someone. 💐

It was offered by the hospice at home team when DH died. I did go along several times and found talking about things I couldn't talk to family about helped me. If you are struggling then no harm in giving a try.