Missing someone

If I could find genuine words of comfort I would use them.
About the best I can do is to express how sorry I am for your loss. It is bitterly cruel when a child dies before the parents.

I hope she realises what a difference she made to your day,even if just for a little while.
I wonder if bench makers realise what a service they provide?

They're good places for meeting kindly strangers, I've found.

I'm feeling better than I did earlier, I was neither good for man nor beast myself then.

Sorry I shouldn’t have written all that. It’s all me, me, me at the moment and I get so cross with myself.
I can’t imagine how you cope with losing a child. I’m so glad you have happy memories you can recall.
I think the changing season is having an effect. These dark days don’t help either.
Sending you another hug and to all those who are feeling lost and lonely missing friends and loved ones.

I hope this thread continues. It would be nice to have somewhere where people could remember special people they’ve lost or for those having a bad day,

You should have written every single word of it, Doodle

I started it just so that people can write whatever they need to, whenever they feel the need.

Thank you MissAdventure

Nope.
Thank you, and you, and you, and everyone for putting down how they feel.

It is brave and good of you to post this MissAdventure. Death grief and mourning are realities that need to be spoken of. My very best wishes to you.

This is such a lovely thread, thank you missAdventure. This sounds a bit trite perhaps, but I had a stillborn baby girl 46 years ago. I remember her particularly on her birthday, and one of my dear friends also remembered her every year and messaged me, but she is also now dead. So I feel I am now the only person who knows about my poor baby.

Big hugs MissA. The missing doesn’t go away. Some days are easier than others and sometimes the missing bowls us over. 💖🌸

Redcar

This is such a lovely thread, thank you missAdventure. This sounds a bit trite perhaps, but I had a stillborn baby girl 46 years ago. I remember her particularly on her birthday, and one of my dear friends also remembered her every year and messaged me, but she is also now dead. So I feel I am now the only person who knows about my poor baby.

It's not at all trite.
It's awful to realise that at some point, out much loved person will become a shadowy, fleeting thought, or a sad tale about a bygone time.
Anyway, now I've depressed you all, I feel a bit better now.

It's this drab time of year, too, I think, that gets people down.

No short cuts.... Its brutal.....

Miss A 20. 5years since my husband died aged 47. The grief gets worse every year . But my grief is nothing like the grief you are going through . A child's death is the worse kind of grief . And I won't insult you by saying I know how you feel as I don't. But the rage and anger I feel over my fit healthy husband getting cancer and dieing gets me through everyday. Use whatever you are feeling to get through each day and talk out loud to your daughter I promise it helps. I have shouted ,swore ,blamed my husband for leaving me but I feel better and then I see with that stupid grin on his face as if to say feel better now.

Have you read the thread on this forum Does it get any easier there are bereaved parents as well there are widows ,and partners.

Miss A I know it doesn't seem fair that those we love died young and we are still here. But we have to live our lives to the full for them . I know like me you have health problems as you helped me on other threads.

I don't know if you have a faith? I am atheist what gives me comfort is my children and grandchildren have some of my husband's DNA.

Only someone who has a child died knows how you feel there may be a group for bereaved parents in your area who met . But bereavement counselling in my experience doesn't work . I went to a group only because my children wanted me to but it didn't help . The woman who ran the group had done a 12 course and was married and I was 45 the next to my age was a 68 year old man the women all 70-80's. I stuck it out for 2 years until my children left home . Just glad they never asked if it helped as I don't lie. They just as if it was ok and it was they where nice people but didn't understand what I was going through and they talked about other things. Only wish I had known about GN in those days.

You need to talk to bereaved parents as they will understand exactly how you feel.

Miss A grief will overwhelm you at times don't fight it as you will only hurt yourself. Let the tears flow and don't think you have to be brave for other people you don't I learnt that the hard way and hurt myself doing it. There is no right or wrong way to grief just your way. My heart goes out to you . 🌹

Miss A you haven't depressed anyone. Your honestly will help other parents . Never put yourself down .

Redcar your grief for your still born is not trite it's how you feel. My mom grieved for the child she miscarried all her life until dementia made her forget she was 90 when she died. One of my aunts had 2 stillborns even though she had 3 sons . She grieved for those babies until she died .

So grieve in your own way and I like I said to Miss A don't try and be brave let the tears flow if you need. We all love our babies the moment we know we are pregnant and that love never dies . So please never belittle your grief of what have might been . 🌹

I think that what Doodle said about the change of season is very telling.

Sending gentle hugs to everyone is feeling sad today.

Such a kind thread, we all have theses spaces were our loved ones should be and there are times we just so hurt missing them.
Big hugs Miss A 🌻

I don't know how we cope with grief, that loss of that special person whose place no one else can fill. My days are busy and I have friends but oh for the days when I had my best friend and husband. Sometimes I think I'm on auto pilot. The loss of your child seems unimaginable and my heart goes out to anyone who has that pain. I go about my days but my husband is somehow with me in thought still and sometimes when out with people its too much and I want to get in so I don't have to try and I can cry if I want to or just think about him. I miss my parents and best friend but its different somehow. To have loved and been loved is very special and not everyone has it.

My first daughter died aged 7 weeks her birthday is on sunday she would be 46.
My dad died 6 weeks later 3rd of january.
My second daughter died aged 23 on the 3rd of january 24 years apart
This time of year for me is very poignant as my happiest and saddest memories are in this season
My girls would now be 44 and 46.
One I never had the chance to know, and one that I had got to know, I still grueve for both in different ways, I dudnt get chance to say goodbye to my dad or my girls.

To all of you living with the grief that comes with the loss of a child 💐.

My goodness such sad stories. My brother died aged 24 in awful circumstances. He would be 70 now.

whiff thank you for your kind comments, I really appreciate them.
downtoearth this must be such a difficult time of year for you, sending you a gentle hug.

So many sad stories, I’m in bits here!
It’s 4 years this week since my husband died. People remembered the date for the first few years, but not this year. My AC didn’t mention it either. I think they think I’m doing fine, and I don’t like to disillusion them. Then today I got a nice card from the Donor Family Network - they send a card every year because my husband’s organs were donated. So that set me off crying. I think some days you just have to give in to the tears and let them flow.

My mum had twins 3 years after me. The second one to be born had the cord round his neck and suffered from all manner of disabilities until he died when he was 2. I am the only person left who remembers him and the effect his death had on my mum.

How sad *kitty". My parents lost a baby boy at 9 months old. I was 6 at the time.