Friends husband has died with skin cancer

I’ve had a couple of BSCs removed, one on my leg and one on my nose. My husband has had a melanoma and that was awful. He had to have a large skin graft and checks to make sure it hasn’t spread every 6 months. They are the nasty ones, not the BSC ones which won’t kill you even though they do need removing ASAP.

I had three BCCs removed from my face last year and they have not recurred. No scarring either. The dangerous skin cancer is malignant melanoma which can be mistaken for a non-malignant mole. About 18 years ago, I had one removed from the back of my neck. It was diagnosed and treated at an early stage and has never recurred. I was lucky. Moral of this story is: any mole that seems to have changed in any way, should be investigated promptly. BCCs are not dangerous but they can spoil your beauty!

whiff so sorry to hear your husband’s story.
I had MOHS at the end of last year and recounted my experience on GN.
The surgery has left me looking like Rudolph but luckily I’ve got pretty good at camouflaging it.
I’ve had one before and may get more. Growing up in a very sunny place before the dangers of UVB were known. All my sisters have had bits cut out too.
BCC’s can spread but they don’t kill you. However they can be quite disfiguring so everyone should know what to look out for.
It’s easy to find information on the internet. The difficulty is convincing the medical profession that it’s not just a spot.

Thank you all for your kind words and Whiff, I’m so sorry for the way your husband died. My friends husband was diagnosed a few years ago and successfully treated, unfortunately it returned a few years later and they weren’t able to stop it and he deteriorated rapidly.

I will stay positive and try not to worry.

I had a BCC removed recently
As it was close to lower eyelid I was referred for Mohs surgery to avoid pulling my eye down possibly resulting in dry eye
Mohs surgery is performed in stages to remove just the cancerous tissue

Fair2good. Life is what it is . My husband dieing young has taught me to live everyday to the full. Unfortunately couldn't do that until I moved here in 2019. As I had both parents and mother in law to look after my husband died . Mom was last to die in 2017.

I wasn't happy in our house as without him it wasn't a home. But my bungalow is home . I am an atheist but my husband is with me in my mind and heart everyday and what gives me comfort is our children and grandson's share part of his DNA so he lives on in them.

If anyone asked about the scar on his face he said he was bottled in a pub fight. He was a cheeky bugger my darling man. Unfortunately when we had to tell people he was terminal what he feared happened and people treated him differently so he cut them out of our lives. He couldn't stand their pity. I had to warn my parents to treat him as they always had they loved him so much. He's own mom didn't care. And after he died denied she had a son or 2 grandchildren. She had no excuse of dementia as she was still had all her marbles when she died 11 years after him .

Whiff What a dreadful experience for you both to go through. I am so sorry.
A family member many many years had BBC on her nose. It was found to be deeper than expected and the result was that she was left disfigured. She had skin grafts from above her eyebrow which helped. However she lived another twenty years without it returning there or anywhere else .

I've had 5 BCC removed from my face, 1 from my ear and 1 from my back.
They are honestly nothing to worry about.

Sorry that should read on behalf of your husband not friend

Don’t worry, on behalf of your friend my mum had two removed and lived to 90
My friend has had a few removed from her face and my friends husband has now had his third removed they are very very very slow growing and benign (and very different from a malignant melanoma)

Puzzlelove sorry about your friends husband. Once they remove your husband's BCC they will check it but it will be benign . But advise he wears factor 50 from then on .

I know what your friend is going through my husband was diagnosed with grade 4 malignant melanoma in January 2001 after it was biopsied . He was given 5 years to live. It appeared over night just above he's right ear in his hair line . Once removed he had to have a skin graft. The cancer was 2.5mm so they have to take away tissue that size all around and that deep. They took skin from the left side of his neck where his neck met his shoulder. The scar was 6" long. He had black hair and a big busy moustache and beard. He was told no hair would grow in the graft so he shaved his beard to a goatee.

He never wanted anyone but me and the children know he wouldn't live . He didn't want anyone to treat him differently or in his words death man walking. He wore factor 50 large hat and keep his skin covered. We lived with the sword of Damocles hanging over us. It dropped in October 2003 he had 6 tumours. 3 in his right lung,1 in his chest and 2 in the brain by the optical nerve. He was given 4 months to 2 years. But we always knew it was months. He had palliative chemo every 3 weeks.

Funny before my husband's cancer always thought chemo was just one didn't realise there where different ones for different cancers and different grades of cancer.

Had to stop him driving in November 2003 as he was going blind. Christmas we talked about his funeral and he said he wanted to get to his birthday in February promised him we would get him there.

He died at home in agony unable to breath on full oxygen I had to tell him to stop fighting and we would be ok . He died a few minutes later 4 days after his 47th birthday in 2004. I was 45 our children 20 and 16.

At the time he died 2,000 people died of skin cancer every month .

Even today skin cancer isn't talked about much usually in the summer but the winter sun is just as dangerous. I would say to people check any moles but also check for any marks that suddenly appear and get them checked out.

My husband was given a death sentence with his diagnosis. But I am happy to say that a man on another thread some time ago after writing about my husband said he had grade 4 malignant melanoma but there is treatment if it's caught early which can extend your life and quality of it.

The ironic thing is I was born disabled and found in 2020 also born with a hole in my heart. But it was my fit healthy husband who got Cancer and died.

The moment he took his last breath half of me died and my present and future. Haven't been whole since. But I am lucky to have been with my husband since I was 16 he was 18. We had 29 years and married 22. Grief like love never dies.

To us quality of life is more important than quantity as without quality there is no point living to a ripe old age without it.

Don't put off what you want to do as none of us know how long we have on this earth. And be skin aware.

Sorry to hear about your friend's husband, she will appreciate your ongoing support I’m sure.
But try not to worry about your own husband, easier said than done I know. I had a BCC removed from my face almost 22 years ago. I was advised to take extra care with sun exposure and to use sunscreen, also that I would likely have more emerge in the future. I acted on the advice that I was given and thankfully have had no others to date.

My father had basal cell carcinomas, a few in fact, on his back and one on his face. All were removed surgically, no other treatment. He died many years later of something unrelated (Parkinson's).

My mother lived with a basal cell carcinoma for thirty years. She refused treatment! She didn't die from it at 82.

Yes, please don’t worry! I have had a few BCC removed over the years and in fact had another suspicious blemish removed in Feb. Awaiting results of biopsy.

Your friend’s husband obviously had a malignant melanoma sadly.

Take care.

Yes - a friend of mine had a BCC on her nose. She was treated and is still here after 25 years.

Please don't worry. A basal cell carcinoma is not life threatening although it will spread if neglected.

I had one removed in 2006. It has never returned.