Loss of my mum.

Sincere condolences. Your mum sounds inspirational. I empathise with your long lasting image of mum in the bathroom. I have experienced similar and was haunted by it for some time. I decided I needed to let this go and allow my loved one to be free, away from that place. I hope this doesn’t sound too nonsensical - it helped me but i know it may not help others.
The love you shared with your mum will help your grief. be kind gentle and accepting of yourself and your feelings x

My condolences, too Moneyboss. I agree with the posters who recommended a photo to remind you of good times with your Mum. I have my parents wedding photo and, even better, a "studio" picture of my Mum as a rather grumpy looking three year old ! Clearly your Mum lived a good, full life with loving relationships and happy times. She - and you-were spared a long, unpleasant decline which is , I think ,what we would all wish for. Be kind to yourself and allow time to heal. Best wishes.

A big shock for you. It will take a while but will get easier.
I actually put all photos away as I didn't want to look at them.
You'll find your own way and probably cry at small things and not at what you will expect
Just try and remember the good time.

I am so sorry what a terrible shock for you. How wonderful that she had such a full life to the end. A similar thing happened with my mum although my adult children found her. I did what Abitbarmy suggested and have a photo of her and my dad when they got engaged, I find many years on now that I always think of her when she was young and I was small.

My condolences to you Moneyboss 💐

What a kind and helpful post from Abitbarmy.

My condolences to you Moneyboss, love to you and your family xxx

Moneyboss What an awful shock for you but what a remarkable lady your mum was I go along with the thought of having a picture of your mum in eyesight which will help you remember her as she was.

So sorry to read your sad news about the sudden loss of your Mum Moneyboss and you must be reeling from the double shock of the loss and the way you found her.

My Mum was similar to yours in that she was fit and well and hadn't been to the doctor for years, but she suddenly collapsed with an aneurysm while packing to go away for New Year's Eve. It took me a long time to remember that she had gone. I would pick up the phone to tell her something.

Photos are a good idea. Find one of her that you really like and perhaps every time you envisage that last scene of her on the floor, make a definite effort to envisage the photo instead. It will retrain your brain.

I still miss my parents even though they have been gone a long time, and unfortunately I don't have any siblings, but eventually we learn to live with the loss. I know it won't feel like it for you right now, and my heart goes out to you.

My daughter was quite young when her grandmother, my mother, died. I talked about rooms in our hearts. As before, I told her that grandmother's room in my heart would always be her grandmother's and no one else would ever go their except those of us who loved her. I also explained that there were lots of rooms occupied by people I loved, including her, and that there would always be empty rooms for new people that we would learn to love. I don't know if it helped the grief, but it was the best I could do. I miss both my parents and think of them often – and sometimes visit their rooms in my heart.

Thank you all for your kind words. I think putting a photo within my daily eyeline is a good idea.

So sad for your loss Mb123 and the way you made your discovery. May I say your dear Mum's living circumstances were decidedly similar to mine right now and, given the choice, I would like to depart this humble coil in similar circumstances. No being sick, dependant or in care. Just gone. She lived a good life and you are obviously a loving daughter. Well done you and lucky her. Take care of yourself in this sad and difficult time. 🌷

What a terrible shock for you, Moneyboss, even more so for you under the circumstances.
I'm sure your family will want to comfort you so let them if they offer love and support.


She lived life to the full
Hold that thought, let that be the memory of your Mother that will stay with you when the shock of this has eased.
She sounds like a remarkable woman.

My heart goes out to you as my dad went so suddenly. I was supposed to walk through the woods ten mins away for Sunday dinner at my parents house. My dad rang me up to ask what time I was going there. I said I was busy decorating so just save me some roast beef for a sandwich.
The phone rang at 8am the next day my mum said she had gone to her sisters house for a few hours. On return my dad was collapsed on the floor and unresponsive.
He died three days later it was the worst day of my life. Find comfort in your memories which will never leave you. Your mum will always be with you embrace the thought and find comfort in it.

I'm so sorry to read this.
Keep a photo of her close by so that you can see her.
You loved your mum and she loved you, don't lose sight of that

So sorry Moneyboss. I hope you can replace that image with a favourite photo of you Mum in happier times.

What an terrible shock for you, so distressing

When I lost my mum, it was expected but a shock she was very young still, but even after all these years I remember the shock and pain. You might feel that nothing anyone says will help you at the moment, but except their love and support, it does help and in time the it becomes easier 💐

When I sat with my Mum while she very slowly passed away, the image of her not looking at all really like herself, not a nice memory, stayed with me for a long time but it has gradually receded and I have a photo of her smiling at a family wedding that I pass several times a day and that is the image I have now, how I remember her. Can you put a nice photo of her somewhere prominent? It will help I think. She sounds like she made the most of her last days which is wonderful. Sending hugs. x

You must be in shock. Maybe you could speak to your doctor? You might need counselling if some kind. It must have been awful for you.

So sorry to read this, Moneyboss. It must have been such a shock and I’m sure you miss her terribly.
How lovely for her to have remained independent and active right up until the end. That is something she would have been very proud of, I’m sure.
Sending you a gentle hug.

I'm really sorry too - it must be such a terrible shock as it was so unexpected. I hope later it will comfort you to know that your darling Mum most likely passed suddenly and probably wasn't aware of it. It's lovely that she had such great quality of life and was still able to enjoy herself right until the end. It's what we all are hoping for I guess.

So sorry to read this.What a shock for you.Barbarax