Bereaved at Christmas

Birthdays and other milestones can be a challenge. Somehow we get through them. I try and plan something to do to take my mind off it - visit a DD, or a garden or whatever. Something to stop me dwelling on it.

I will be thinking of you.

I’ve mentioned that my beloved husband died a year last December, can’t find my message. It is his Birthday on 22 June, how will I get through the day. I miss him so badly. Family and friends Are so supportive but at the end of the day you are alone with your thoughts. I find it so hard to bear never to see him again

denisep5

I am SO very sorry to read this, you must do what you feel is right. Each of us handles a situation differently and its not for anyone to say otherwise

1 day at a time.

Thinking of you.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear your news. I lost my dad at Xmas many years ago, and it is so hard to bare isn’t it.
I agree, do exactly what feels right for you. I do hope that you can find some peace and comfort together.

denisep5, (from experience) have exactly the kind of day that suits you. Ignore any and all expectations and traditions, just try to find the least painful way to get through it. You can ignore it completely, join others elsewhere or have a very simple, basic 'special' day, whatever seems right.

You are still in shock. I lost my DH to cancer just over a year ago and although I spent the day with DD and her family, it was a very sad Christmas. His dad died 2 weeks after he did. A big loss of two big personalities.
This year I have a tree, thanks to a friend, and an invitation or two, but I am not feeling at all festive and very lonely.
Condolences to you both.

How terribly sad, I feel for you both.

So sorry about your bereavements denisep5 of course you are not being unreasonable. You and your family should spend the time as you wish, quietly remembering those you have lost, going to church etc. You have my sympathy

Barmyoldbat
What a dreadful shock and sadness for you all.

Not unreasonable at all. Do what feels right for you and gives you any degree of comfort the pair of you can muster. So sad for you both ?

So sorry for all of your losses. Allow yourselves time to grieve and think back to happy times with them.

I am sorry for your loss. If we were in your situation, Christmas would be on the back burner. There will be other Christmases, time now to grieve and remember.

I lost, mother, father, grandmother, then my husband at Christmas. I know how you feel, I put a face on for everyone

Don’t know what to say barmy, that is awful. I am so sorry.

Avalon your silver star lights sound beautiful and must have brought a bit of peace in what must have been a heartbreaking time.

My dd had a very serious diagnosis, she is ok but every ache and pain brings on the fear ,all over again.

My dil just dropped down dead in front of the whole family on Saturday, everything was done to try and save it but failed. The family are still going to celebrate Christmas.

My deepest sympathy to you and anyone else who has suffered a bereavement. Just do what you feel is right for you and your family. When ds died I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas at all but rest of family thought I should do something. I put the tree up and decorated it solely with silver star lights. No other decorations anywhere and M&S meal. It was strangely very soothing. Somehow you will get through. Best wishes xx

I am so sorry for your losses. What a shock. I would say do what is right for yourselves whatever you feel.
I lost my mum this year too. Although I am ok I don’t really feel like going through with Christmas but having small GC who don’t understand I have to put a face on.
I also have a dear friend who lost her husband a week ago. I cannot imagine her pain.
Take care ?

I'm so sorry for your losses. Do whatever feels right for you just now, don't worry about Christmas. Allow yourselves time to grieve. There will be much to do and organize in these first few weeks, Christmas festivities can take a back seat, your mind will not be able to comprehend any sort of " celebration".

We lost my lovely Mum back in June this year, and honestly the first few weeks are still a blur. My OH was a godsend, he took over all the legal stuff, as I was in a bit of a daze.

We certainly couldn't have coped with Christmas as well, in fact I'm having a struggle with it now, I miss her so much.

Please take time for yourselves, and hopefully you can comfort each other. Sending you strength and a big hug.

Take care xx

And paddy of course.

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry Denise and Helen

Kathsue and Helen

My condolences to you both, what a dreadful shock.

Do what you feel is right for you and make sure you take the time to grieve.

My very best wishes xx

So sorry paddy.?

We lost my MIL on Thursday ,3 weeks after she had a massive stroke .I had already put the tree up and the nativity for the wee ones but we wont bother with outside lights or any celebration

.My children and GC are all heartbroken as Nana was a very big and much loved part of their lives.
I think its just a case of getting through it ,funeral next week, rather than taking part in any celebration .My sincerest condolences to you both ,take care of each other and yourself

Very sorry to hear this what a dreadful shock for you both
Of course you don’t feel like celebrating Christmas and it is completely acceptable to do nothing
Spend a couple of quiet days together and do exactly what you feel able to do if it means staying in bed all day do it or have a quiet lunch together thinking or talking about your two mums that’s ok too You may want to talk, you may not want to, we re all different
Do what’s right for you both take care of each other and leave the outside world to celebrate this year
?