Not a widow, but was left in tatters by my long term partner of 17 years cgeating om me, saying he no longer loved me and moving out.
My self esteem and confidence at rock bottom made me feel worthless, but I clawed my self out of the pit and joined groups , turned up at the opening of an envelope, and still made no friends as everyone was part of a couple, have very little family.
In lockdown I felt the same as everyone else, as locjdown is lifting I am very aware there is no one eager to see or meet up with me to have coffee, walks etc and like many of you everything is done alone.
My ex used to work weekends, sundays where never that bad, lonely in a different way, I knew he was coming home and had that to look forward too.
I understand where you are coming from 