What to put in Christmas Card to bereaved parents?

I think I would need to acknowledge the bereavement and the parents feelings at Christmas but not turn a Christmas card into a sympathy card as someone else said

You can actually get specially worded Christmas cards that don't say Merry Christmas or Happy NY they just say something along the lines of 'thinking of you at Christmas'. I was sent a few of those myself last Christmas. It meant alot that people had acknowledged that it couldn't possibly be a happy time.

4 year old thread, but still so very relevant to so many, sadly.

merlotgran
I didn’t know

Name the loved one. People stop using their name and it hurts

I always keep last years Christmas card to cut into tags this year. Last year was my first after my husband’s death in October. Reading the heartfelt messages in last year’s cards has been a heart warming reminder of how kind, loving, thoughtful and sensitive so many friends were. This of course is only my view but I’d say think about what yiu write, but speak from your heart x

'Thinking of you, and remembering (name) at this time.'

Friends lost their adult son some years ago, and they sent their Christmas cards out early that year, a black and white picture of some happy children from the 1950s playing on a sledge. This made it easier to send a card back because we knew they were acknowledging Christmas.

My brother and his wife lost their 43 year old daughter to
an aggressive cancer recently and want close family with them this Christmas . It’s not going to be easy and to compound it my SIL broke her wrist today.

I have terminal cancer and my consultant has told me that I only have months left. I disagree and will keep fighting for as long as possible. We’ve received Christmas cards from friends who obviously don’t know what to say. I’ve noticed that none of them have written anything about next year. ie I would normally write “wishing you a happy and healthy new year” I understand that they are worried about talking about the future but I’m okay with it.

I have a card to send to my cousin, whose adult son hanged himself last year, 9 days before Christmas. I just wrote a few lines to my cousin, saying that I realise that this is a very difficult time of year for him and that he's in our thoughts.

Really, what you can you say when words are so inadequate? I thought it best to keep it very brief.

Our son died 12 years ago on Saturday, painfully close to Christmas.
I remember a neighbour's card really moved me and I've never forgotten it.
She addressed it to us three and then added
'and remembering Sam'. It was perfect

I remember being astounded the first Christmas after losing my 26 year old DH to receive a card saying 'hope you have the best Christmas ever'! I don't think the sender could have read the printed words.

I lost my son on the 17th December the funeral was the 21st. Christmas Eve I was trying to buy presents for his sisters so they had a “normal” Christmas . It was a terrible year all the way back in 1984 he died at nearly 5. I was on a parallel universe to everyone else that year so it doesn’t matter what you say but it is good for it to be acknowledged . I too had friends who avoided me and one friend who pretended it had never happened and invited me to her “Happy New Year” party .
She’s not been a friend for many years!!

I’m still grieving for my dear husband, this is the first Christmas without him and I’ve been receiving lots of Christmas cards with special messages from close friends and relatives I’m not offended when someone writes have a happy Christmas I’m just pleased to hear from them regardless of my unhappy circumstances

I had this dilemma a couple of years ago, when a young man we had known well as a child committed suicide.
After much thought I wrote a letter acknowledging their sadness and saying we were thinking of them all.
Last year a friend lost her sister, they were very close, I wrote a letter saying how very sorry we were, and her husband rang me, and said he’d taken the letter out before she saw it, because any mention upset her
So, just do what feels right, and hope you are doing the right thing

When I lost my son 18 years ago last November I did not want to celebrate Christmas. I just wanted peace. Now for those who have lost a loved one I try to find a card with a picture such as a dove of peace or purple crocus pushing through the snow and I wish them peace at Christmas. A blank card is good because you can just write your own message.

I would write
(Their beloved daughter (name) is with them everyday in their thoughts and memories to treasure forever).

In a similar situation I found a card that you said something like 'Peace at Christmas"
A simple message "thinking of you' without being too gushing.
Good luck

Send a plain card, where you write your own message with a calm looking picture. When my friend lost her baby granddaughter just before Christmas, I wrote " Oh (her name), there are no words. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family at this sensitive time. When I next saw her she said I had captured what she was feeling "There are no words". She didn't want friends saying they knew how she was feeling because her pain was indescribable.

In today’s post I had a newsy card from a friend, totally ignoring the loss of my DH which I found a bit insensitive, but not as bad as a distant cousin ( but one I keep up with) actually addressing card and envelope to both of us, even though he knew the change of circumstances.
So a middle path is needed. Don’t ignore it but don’t go over board either.

There is no right or wrong anwser, it depends on how the family of the deceased handles the loss

Some prefer a neutral, "life continues" card

Others, like to know the name of the loved one is not forgotten

For others, mentioning the name upsets the family

Others, may choose to skip the holidays, receive no cards or do anything special

So my recommendation is to read the room and proceed accordingly

Ikiesgranma - for you

Ikiesgranma another bouquet 💐 for you x

Just tell them you are thinking about them. It means so much. Unfortunately, we lost our beloved son and the pain never goes away but to know that people care is lovely.

My thoughts too Merlotgran. Our son-in-law (my OH’s daughter’s husband) died in January, aged 47. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer only four months before. Actions speak louder than words. 💐