My ex partner died in 2007, at the time of his death we'd been apart for 5 years.
Our parting was due to his alcoholism and I could write a novel on what we suffered through this.
When he died, the hospital contacted me... I was still listed as his 'next of kin' and due to his drinking, none of his family would get involved.
I talked it through with my son and we agreed that the right thing to do was step in and arrange things, which we did.
The love had long gone but I still felt a deep affection for the man he'd been.
The date of his birthday recently passed and for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks and I can't seem to shake it off.
I cried like a baby last night and I don't know how to deal with it.
Gransnet forums
Bereavement
Oh you poor thing, Sending you hugs and 
Life is so complicated at times.
I can understand why you might feel emotional on his birthday. Sad to remember the man he had been and how his gift of life was wasted through his dreadful illness - and you will have gone through so much. Just be kind to yourself.
I understand completely . Memories are brought to the fore. Take care.
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