Funeral up coming holiday

I rarely go to a funeral unless someone I am very close to & see often when they’re alive. I don’t care if no one comes to my funeral...but if you are close to your brother & he needs your support then it’s a different matter. You already know in your heart what needs to be done. In this sad case. And funerals can be arranged to suit all close relatives & friends. I wish you all the best, I hope you manage to take your break.

Cancel! Family is so important--much more than a holiday. You an holiday after the funeral.

@Caro57. Same here. My aunt died. I was able to see her and say goodbye, but we had our first holiday in years booked and my cousin was happy to wait until we got back. He said it turned out better as he had time to organise a choir and rehearsals and make the funeral even more special.

I would cancel you can always have another holiday but she'll only have one funeral.offer support.

I agree with the above.

You don’t have a dilemma. Your sister in law and her family are the people going through a heart wrenching time.
I disagreewith others who have suggested discussing your holiday with the family. It is so inappropriate at this time.

Some very sensible advice given.
I was on holiday abroad once when the grandson of one of the party died.
The family didn't tell him until he returned so that he could enjoy his holiday.
I think that was very thoughtful of them.
Another situation that I came across was when a friend's husband died unexpectedly and they told his best friend as he was about to go to the airport .
They told him that the funeral would not take place until after his holiday which it didn't -about a month later.
I thought the friend shouldn't have been told until he returned as no doubt his holiday was spoilt for him by the news
I am so sorry that this very sad situation has happened to you.
I think as has been suggested. I would speak to your brother in law before deciding anything.

Definitely for a family member

Hello
How sad that the lady in question is facing her last days and that the poster even needs to voice her dilemma. Funerals are only a tiny part of the grieving process ..it is the ongoing love and support that those left behind need and there is no time limit on that.

I think you should put your plans on hold for now. I know it's hard when you are looking forward to a few days away but maybe you would feel better knowing you were there for the funeral. We face the same dilemma each time we go to see our son and family in Australia. My husband's parents are both in their nineties and each time we go away we expect to be called home, it hasn't happened yet but it can only be a matter of time.

I think you have to, for family that close.

When my dad fell in, we all rushed to see him and say goodbye. He then lived for another eighteen months. My SIL mum was put on end of life care a year ago. She is still with us. Death, I'm afraid, is totally unpredictable. I would say if you are holidaying in this country go as you can easily come back, if a short flight away the same applies, otherwise think carefully about how you would feel if you could not be there.

We were away when my great aunt died and the funeral was put on hold until we got back.......what does she think?

Perhaps your Dh could have a word with his Db and ask him what he thought about you carrying on with your weeks holiday.
If unfortunately, Dsil does die while you are away and Dbil has other close family members to support him, it would be fine and the funeral would probably take over a week to arrange anyway.
It's how you feel really, no-one can actually advise you what to do without knowing the entire family dynamic.

This person has not died yet so I would carry on with life unless you are the every day support. My mil could die at any time the dr said and she is still here a year later. I personally would not wish people to put their lives on hold if I was in that situation. We are all diffferent though.

If your were all really close emotionally ( & possibly physically by living near) you would not be asking the question because your DH & you would be offering practical and emotional support to your relatives & would defer the holiday. If , as it sounds , you are not that close then go on holiday. If SiL dies whilst you are,away no problem rw the funeral as they take at lest 10 days to organise.If she dies before you go away then maybe you BiL will take account of your holiday when makinf funeral arrangements.

Agree with many others. Depends how close you are and where you are going to. If you are very close cancel now and go later. If not and you can easily get a flight home do that. You can phone every day wherever you are.
Good luck, not a pleasant dilemma

Are you really going to enjoy a relaxing (and probably needed) break if you are on thorns all the time waiting for a phone call? I don't think I'd like to waste money on a holiday like that, I'd rather postpone till everything's settled down.

You have booked a little holiday. Surely the funeral could wait a week if there is one? No one can tell for sure when somebody is going to die. You should however make a visit before you leave to go on holiday.

Don't cancel yet, if you cancel for a funeral that isnt even booked you won't get your money back, don't do anything yet, just wait, you can cancel if and when you need to.

When my dad died some family had holidays booked so we delayed the funeral for a few weeks. You might cancel and she might live longer. I would wait and see if I were you. If you have holiday insurance and she dies that should be covered shouldn’t it?

I would talk to the family to let them know your dilemma. If they are ok with delaying the funeral I’d go as you are only away for a week. Friends of ours have a house in Cyprus where they go for months at a time. They went in August when her mother (93 and in very poor health) had just been rushed into hospital. Mother died a week later and they did not come back. Funeral will be in November and the body has been in the mortuary all this time. I was shocked by this, and I don’t think I’ll feel quite the same about them again. I wouldn’t have gone in the first place if it was my mother.

I arrived in USA, and turned right round and came straight back the next day after my friend died suddenly. I couldn't have enjoyed my fortnight in Florida, knowing there were people grieving, and that I should have been. there

I have one blood relative and we discussed this some years ago as I travel often. We decided that if either of us were abroad when the other died we would not return. We both have directions in our wills which can be activited via solicitors. In my particular case its direct to the crem anyway so not such an issue.

Don't worry about what hasn't happened. If it does you will now what to decide.