Correspondence

Thank you Anniebach - made me laugh so much! I should have done this with HMRC who took 3 years to understand that my OH was no longer working (in heaven?) or able to complete a tax return.

My dad went through similar and it was very upsetting. I tried to contact as many organisations I could but they still kept coming through. The one that really did upset him was a birthday card that came through from one club she was a member of

You would think it would be much more seamless these days, but no..

Companies, etc blame it on computers, but computers are only as good as the people who input the information.

It’s an awful feeling, isn’t it? When my darling Mum died I’d sometimes receive correspondence from a bank addressed to me and my Mum as
Mrs Mapleleaf and Mrs..(deceased).
It needed several trips to the bank concerned to get this sorted, which was distressing in itself.

I received a widows pension from my late husband's job with the Civil Service. On the first payslip I received six weeks after his funeral there was the following notice in large black bold lettering on the first page 'If you remarry or cohabit with another partner as man and wife then you must inform us immediately as your pension may cease to be paid'. I did get upset at the thought that only weeks after losing my husband someone thought I might remarry (over reacting I know but I was very upset). My daughter told me to stop complaining and do something about it - she said to write to them and tell them how upsetting it was to receive a letter like that so soon after losing my husband - so I did. They wrote a lovely letter back apologising and said that they would amend the letters for future widows/widowers. They did, the message was still there but in ordinary sized print and not in bold so it didn't grab your attention when you first opened the letter.

It is heart breaking isn't it. After my Mum died I was the executor and my dh helped me to sent letters to all of the necessary people including electricity. About 8 months after her estate was settled out of the blue I received a letter addressed to her deceased and sent to my address. I came home and was stunned and it raked up more pain. I was quite shocked and upset and rang my sister who could not believe how insensitive they had been . These companies need to update their data bases. I am so sorry you had to experience this Maw.

So sorry you have been upset by thoughtless bureaucracy Maw
I agree with Panache in these days of advanced technology you would think this sort of thing could be avoided. It's still a human pressing the buttons though.

Some dreadful examples of crass and cruel behaviour here.
Crossed wires or automatically generated communication can be responsible for much or even excusable, but 44 years on I still remember getting my post-natal appointment through at Queen Mary’s, Roehampton after I had my first baby.
I rang them up and asked if it would be all the new mothers and if they would have their babies with them.
I got a very brusque “of course, why do you ask?”
And a bit of a stunned silence when I said that my baby boy had never come home but died in hospital aged 24 days.
To be fair to them they did reschedule my appointment and put me in an ante-natal clinic ?
As Paw used to say when he encountered stupid or thoughtless behaviour “Engage brain, before opening mouth”.

I may have posted this before but as you can imagine it has never been forgotten. When my son died at age 4 I had to send the child benefit book back expecting them to send me a new one. The original one was sent back with his name crossed out and the word Dead hand written above it. The person who wrote it was obviously not a parent or even human, and I have never forgotten or forgiven.

to all of you who have been affected by such thoughtlessness. I still get angry on behalf of a friend who went through the same senseless beaurocracy years ago.

still getting bits n bobs addressed to dh 4 yrs later

A hard one, callgirl
I dread the anniversaries but I sincerely hope you can look at your lovely children and grandchildren and look back on over half a century of a good marriage. Something not granted to all.
He was a lucky man to have you

We were married 55 years ago today.

It`s now a year and 9 months since David died, and my daughter notified, amongst others, our gas and electricity supplier, that the monthly direct debit payments would now come from my new account. They have duly taken their money each month from MY account, but all letters are still addressed to David.

Sorry Maw!
I didn't mean to hog the thread, and I'm sorry you've been upset by the unexpected mail.

Inefficient and defensive by the sounds of it.

I hope your DGS is OK.

Well, that's good then, because I haven't forgiven them yet, Jalima. Nor will I, ever.
My last correspondence with them was a very snotty letter, telling me that they were perfectly well aware of the circumstances, and they would NEVER do anything to upset me or grandson. (Even though they had, frequently)

Oh dear MissAdventure - the award for insensitivity goes to Basham & Diddle.

And as for the school, that was unforgiveable.

Oh, and of course, a special mention must go to my grandsons school, for continuing up until April this year to email my daughter regarding school issues, and for sending my grandson home with a letter addressed to her, after I had gone to the head, to try and sort it out once a for all.
Most insensitive gits of the year!

I had a phone call last week from a man from 'basham & diddle' or some such firm.
He asked if I was aware that he was acting on behalf of Anglian Water.
When I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, he began asking me about my daughter, then informed me he was a solicitor, and had been instructed to recover the 100 odd pounds that was left owing when she died.
It was horrible, and he got very short shrift from me.

No, maw, it shouldn’t have happened. As luckygirl said, people are involved and the people should ensure this sort of thing can’t happen. I’m sorry you had to go home to it.

After my FiL died we continued to get correspondence from a firm he had had investments with. One day after yet another letter came through the letterbox after repeatedly writing back saying he had died I phoned them up and asked politely, "Can dead people make investments?" They must have thought I was barmy but we never had anymore letters.

Oh dear, why don't they amend their records promptly and efficiently?
When my dear friend died suddenly, her husband contacted everyone he needed to but kept getting raffle tickets etc sent from the RBL and then one of those little wooden crosses was sent through the post a while later, addressed to her asking her to remember someone dear. Even after contacting them yet again, another one arrived the year after too.
DH contacted them on his behalf and they finally got the message

The letters might be computer-generated, but it is a person who has read the letter of notification, and negligently failed to amend the computer records accordingly, and negligently failed to send a proper acknowledgement.

I am sorry, Maw. These things really shouldn't happen.