Help p!ease

I lost a mother and a close friend some while back took me along time to get back to normal if you ever can ,there are bodies out there who can lend support and help i would suggest you make contact they are there to help, friends are OK but you will probably need extra help through this difficult time,memories are always there

Sounds like a good day Blue45sapphire. A milestone too.

Our Silver wedding rose is flowering beautifully this year. It was planted in 1997. It would have been our 46th anniversary this year. Cut the grass today, then sat in the sun and had a (large) GT! Just had steak and red wine, and am watching the rugby.

Not being silly at all. It's a lovely idea. How about planting something in the garden for him? A nice flower or bulb or something (I'm not a gardener!).
When my Dad died a nieghbour planted a white lilac tree from my Mum for him in the communal garden. We live there now and it's always such a pleasure when it flowers.

Not silly, Blue45Sapphire, just doing what feels right at the time.

Early days, my dear early days. Just do what feels right for you, and bugger the rest of them!

Someone tell me whether I'm being silly or not, but it would have been DH 's birthday tomorrow and I've bought him a card. I just wanted to wish him a happy birthday, wherever he is.....and tell him he is much missed and loved. I will be having a busy day, bit of tidying up in the garden in the morning, cinema in the afternoon, and then my two DGDs are staying over as their mum and dad are out to a pub quiz. Then I walk them to school the next morning.

Oh, Mawbroon, I felt that too, the night after he had died, it was really weird. I called out and asked if that was him. No answer, sadly. After going to a neighbour's for coffee this morning, I came home and booked my cruise straightaway; my friends were very supportive and told me it was an excellent idea. Not until June next year, but something to look forward to. My daughter and I are also planning to go to India sometime, I've always fancied going, and DH never wanted to.

That is the right sort of dream to have Bluesapphire
I once (sadly only once) felt a very gentle pressure all down my side in bed, as if he was “spooning”. That left me with a smile too.
A friend with no religious beliefs once told me it is the departed one’s way of assuring you that all is well.
Hold that thought

I'm having second thoughts about that particular cruise; have just looked through that particular ship's brochure for next year and have found virtually the same cruise on the same ship for £3000 less! So think I will book that one instead, I'd be a fool to take the more expensive one. Going to neighbour 's coffee morning today, then probably pop out to shops this afternoon as I need some plastic storage boxes (just starting to declutter!) Treating myself to a day out shopping tomorrow at nearest large shopping mall, so will treat myself to lunch - and wine! Also have £20 in vouchers to spend in M&S. Dreamt about DH last night, had little smile on my face when I woke up and remembered my dream...

Keep on keeping on Blue45sapphire. One day at a time. Its all you can do.
Is the cruise booked or are you enjoying the browsing?

Fantastic win on Saturday! Now safe from relegation. At least that was something to cheer me up. But then I cried and cried in the evening, and I sobbed in the shower this morning. Every day is bad, but some are less bad than others. Trying to find the instruction book for the lawnmower has kept me busy today - no joy with that, but I found the manual on line and have printed off the relevant pages. Must try and cut the grass this week as the weather is set fair. I am coping, but my heart is breaking.

Well, it can't be much worse, could even be relegated!

Good on you! Next season is is bound to be better.

Brilliant work!

Went to my first rugby match today without DH. Did me good, I shouted as usual (DH never did!). Team played well in first half, but rubbish in second, so came home and drowned my sorrows....... Strange to have an empty seat next to me, but have a lovely couple other side. Have decided to renew my season ticket and just pray that next season is better than this!

Glad to hear that you're taking stock and cautiously making plans. Maybe don't rush into the scattering ashes plan? It's possible you might change your mind over the next wee while?
Planning a cruise is a good idea. Its nice to have some sort of 'markers' in as you navigate this year and beyond. Happy to hear you have Birmans. They are great little characters.
Take it easy!

Oh yes, onwards and upwards, that was my teacher training college motto, and, boy, did we get some stick for it! My two lovely Birman cats have not left me alone since I got home. And one of my ex-teaching friends gave me a mass card - she had had a mass said for DH, and it just touched me so much and gave me comfort that she had thought so much of him.

Thinking of you. Well done for getting through it. The next ones may well be harder, but you have made a start.
I felt I was glad that Christmas was so soon after we lost Paw and an element of still being in shock helped get me through.
Mothers Day, my birthday and Easter 4 months on were no easier.
However, onwards and upwards eh?

I can't imagine the pain you're going through but I guess you just HAVE to get through each day

I'm glad you've found some enjoyment in the day, sapphire.
It feels like one step forward, two back, at times.
Enjoy your evening, as best you can.

Our wedding anniversary today, 46 years. I am ok-ish. Went out for lunch with some of my ex-teaching colleagues, had a good gossip and wine. Went out for a walk when I got home, and had a good cry, and am just enjoying a glass of sherry. Just fed my lovely cats and am trying to decide what to have for tea. Glad really that I'm getting all the major anniversaries over within the next few weeks. 19th April our first date, 20th April my birthday, 16th May Mike's birthday. I will try to celebrate each one.

The cruise sounds a lovely idea and a fitting place to scatter his ashes. Thinking of you

One day at a time sapphire.

So sorry Sapphire, but you are right. All that your loving DH was still lives on in your hearts and minds. Love never dies ???????

I am late joining this Blue45Sapphire You have now got the funeral behind you...its tough for the next however long it takes. My first husband died at 42. I know its tough even imagining just how you begin to pick the pieces up again....but you WILL do, Something will guide you along be it friends, children or groups like this. Just go with what ever you feel, don't be pressed into anything...just be aware, life really does go on and its not disrespectful to go on...its life, its what happens.

My thoughts are with you