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Where do children learn ethics and morality these days?

(32 Posts)
Aveline Thu 15-Oct-26 13:22:18

That's it really. Now that church attendance seems a thing of the past and the world seems full of bad people doing bad things and, seemingly, being rewarded for it or at least getting away with it ( I'm looking at you Trump and Putin) how can children learn?
Ideally from their parents, potentially from hard pressed teachers, but how else?

fancythat Thu 15-Oct-26 18:12:35

Ethics and morality are two different things.

Norah Thu 15-Oct-26 18:06:49

Home.

Iam64 Thu 15-Oct-26 17:33:07

The biggest influence is within families. My primary school age grandchildren all discuss ethics and morality at school and in our family. Two go to a faith school, two don’t - their ethics and morals are strong
One now at high school. He enjoys ethics and faith - one of their year seven courses

David49 Thu 15-Oct-26 17:11:39

Most morality and ethics are learned from parents, if they are constantly lying, cheating and arguing whatever they are taught elsewhere, is wasted.

Chocolatelovinggran Thu 15-Oct-26 16:58:19

Schools do have lessons on PSHE, where moral dilemmas are discussed. There are, also, philosophy lessons, in which the thinking behind ethical principles are explored.
The school my GS attends has a thriving Duke of Edinburgh programme, and he will be undertaking his community work as part of this
This school offers the International Baccalaureate instead of A levels and that, too includes an element of community service.

Oreo Thu 15-Oct-26 16:48:39

I’m not sure they do really.
Or at least only from a percentage of parents.This country is becoming more secular and schools don’t have the time do they for ethics and morality lessons? Maybe certain schools do.
Most kids know right from wrong where criminality is concerned but ethics, not sure about that.

BlueBelle Thu 15-Oct-26 16:09:40

It’s as it’s always been Some good parenting with good examples and then poor parenting and bad examples
The difference now is they young peoples can see lots of influential things, good and bad, on all the various platforms online and influencing is the very real name for it.
Having been totally disgusted with a lot of comments on social media over the young man who died in the tigers enclosure,
(including a certain ‘president’ you can see completely how some children grow up with no examples of compassion in their hearts, no understanding how to care for others and little or no information about mental health or even the ways of the world beyond a very often poor home life with more influence from friends and online stories than from any decent adults. .They are then wide open to the Tommy Robinsons and other influences of the world.

Scouts and guides although still around are nothing like as used as previously Youth clubs for the main part have been closed, many young people are growing up with no fathers or fathers and mothers who have to work long hours to make enough to keep the home going. Church is not well attended.

This country and others are totally divided politically, and children see the sight of adults, wearing hoods and hear the bile and hatred being shouted on the streets. What examples are they getting ?
What can we expect

M0nica Thu 15-Oct-26 15:00:27

At home - or not

GrannyGravy13 Thu 15-Oct-26 14:59:57

From parents and extended family.

The primary schools that my GC have attended have strong ethics and morality, this is carried on through to senior schools where they have PHSE and RE.

I think todays younger generation are far more aware then when I was a child.

MarieElla Thu 15-Oct-26 14:43:55

PSHE lessons in Secondary school.

Gmax3 Thu 15-Oct-26 14:37:23

Ilovecheese

Well it's not young people who started the wars that are taking place at the moment. Mainly two elderly men who probably call themselves Christians.

Cue the song by Billy Joel, "We didn't start the Fire"
...it was always burning since the world was turning....

Gmax3 Thu 15-Oct-26 14:35:01

CarrotTop
"I knew when I started this that I wouldn't be able to produce a satisfactory answer. There are so many elements to look at, starting with a bunch of agreed definitions, that this thread stands a good chance of lasting until Trump marries Putin and we all live happily ever after..."

THANKS FOR THAT! I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!

Gmax3 Thu 15-Oct-26 14:33:03

Sago
"I will add I do not believe that Church attendance = morality."

I agree with you 100%

Galaxy Thu 15-Oct-26 14:30:12

There is an interesting discussion going on at the moment about the use of screens in schools, rather than books. Hopefully children get most guidance from their family, but I think stories can also be a way of imparting values.

Ziggy62 Thu 15-Oct-26 14:22:55

How strange this question is asked just as Jeffrey Donaldson is sentenced to 15 years for sexually abusing 2 very young girls

Ilovecheese Thu 15-Oct-26 14:02:59

Well it's not young people who started the wars that are taking place at the moment. Mainly two elderly men who probably call themselves Christians.

CarrotTop Thu 15-Oct-26 14:02:19

Goodness, what a big question! I'll try for an answer - it won't be the answer, of course, because we aren't all clones of one another who share exactly the same views on the definitions of "morality" and "ethics". Cover me, Tex, I'm goin' in.....

I'd say that children learn ethics and morals from the same places we and all the generations before us did (and still do): parents, other family members, peers, religion, education, propaganda, politics, news media and society in general. Add to that the individual conclusions they draw from what happens to them personally, and you get a bunch of very diverse human beings. (Then you have to investigate each one's life personally to get any kind of insight into exactly what they have learned - and why.)

Today's children (what a huge categorisation!) seem in many ways to be very different from the children we were, but they're also different from one another - there has never been a benchmark child against whom every other child can be measured. Don't forget that we were a diverse bunch, too - we didn't (and still don't) agree on what is good, acceptable, moral and ethical.

What's different now is that the world has changed (as it always has done and will continue to do) and worldwide instant media reportage means that each individual's horizons are much wider than they used to be (hello, World Wide Web) so children now have almost all there is to see right in front of their eyes, sometimes even as it's happening (hello, mobile phones with cameras).

I knew when I started this that I wouldn't be able to produce a satisfactory answer. There are so many elements to look at, starting with a bunch of agreed definitions, that this thread stands a good chance of lasting until Trump marries Putin and we all live happily ever after...

Sago Thu 15-Oct-26 14:01:49

I would hope predominantly from parents, grandparents, Aunts and Uncles.

I had dreadful parents but fortunately a good Aunt and Uncle who helped me enormously.

I was educated by nuns who were vicious in the main, the Catholic Church back in the 60’s and 70’s was not a great place, I do attend mass but not as regularly as when I was a child.

I believe our 3 children have high morals, the boys had a Jesuit education and have benefitted massively, they had such love and respect for their masters, they had a big influence on them.
They also had to spend time with the Arrupe program volunteering with those less fortunate, it was humbling.

Our daughter attends Church occasionally with our grandchildren, our eldest son is a regular churchgoer and the youngest will come with us if he’s back in the UK.

I will add I do not believe that Church attendance = morality.

Sarnia Thu 15-Oct-26 14:01:17

My youngest GD's still in secondary schools have PD's, (Personal Development) lessons and Citizenship.
They seem quite informal lessons with the teacher talking about a topical issue or dealing with situations they may face when growing up followed by the class having an open discussion about it.

MartavTaurus Thu 15-Oct-26 13:59:24

The world is a mess, but young people do mind about this and talk about it.
That's right. Young people today are more aware, and value global inclusivity and social justice. They are concerned about mental health too. These are all steps forward however that learning has been acquired.

Aveline Thu 15-Oct-26 13:53:18

That's reassuring Luckygirl13

Luckygirl3 Thu 15-Oct-26 13:46:16

I am not concerned about the dropping church attendance and it's relevance or otherwise to learning ethics and morality, but am very aware that schools especially primary, do concentrate on values in education. Our local primary has a value of the week and this is reflected in the activities throughout the school. And the secondaries I have dealings with also emphasise morality and ethics.
And my GC receive a good moral example from all the family and these topics are under discussion between us all.
I was very proud of my teenage grandson after a lecture where there had been implied racism ... he turned to the black student beside him and acknowledged how he must have felt. Good lad.

I do not think all is lost. The world is a mess, but young people do mind about this and talk about it.

Don't forget that we watched several serious conflicts when we were young and attitudes that were immoral ... we never failed to recognise this.

MartavTaurus Thu 15-Oct-26 13:46:15

I think there has undoubtedly been a change in the way children these days learn ethics and morality, but not in a bad way. For one, there's far less didacticism now, and far more discussion. They can open up more and ask questions.
Making mistakes is also more acceptable, so they learn from the variety of experiences on offer.
I think they still value trust and honesty above all else, those are timeless qualities nearly everyone appreciates.

BlessedArt Thu 15-Oct-26 13:41:30

Cossy

From their parents, their relatives, their peers, possibly their teachers.

I came from a C of E family, but church attendances were strictly limited to weddings, christenings and funerals.

I didn’t marry in church and my children were not christened.

However, myself and my husband consider ourselves to have strong moral compasses, ethics and taught our children from a very young age right from wrong.

None of our five children practise any formal religion, but we consider them to be fine, upstanding, moral decent people.

I agree with this!

BlessedArt Thu 15-Oct-26 13:40:51

It has always been, should have always been, should always be the parents from whom children primarily learn ethics and morals. The church has always been hypocritical and set a poor example in nearly all ways except what they verbally espoused to congregations. Always. Political leaders have always been poor examples. Always.

One could argue that the worst possible examples from whom to learn ethics and morals are those individuals and institutions of all religions and political leanings who say one thing and do the opposite. So it is up to parents to understand the responsibility to their children is much greater than providing the basic human necessities. If we each teach our own the impact of their behaviour on themselves and wider society, we can get somewhere. Unfortunately, many parents have always looked outward for this guidance for their children, placing so-called authority figures on pedestals.