Friend’s partner is controlling and angry

She’s obviously rather timid and leaving a partner of 30 years is a big step. Perhaps just say Oh enough about him and change the subject.
Does she have children or siblings to look out for her.

Do we have the same friend LaCrepescule? My friend knows what I think, I’ve said so many times, but she too doesn’t want to be on her own, he’s basically a bully, not physically, but verbally. I’ve given up and if she starts telling me anything I just say ‘you know my view’.

Best thing I ever did back in 2012 was to leave a controlling partner. There was no violence, but constant put downs, especially in front of family. Everything had to be done his way. When I left it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I realised I had constantly been walking on egg-shells in case I did something 'wrong'

Your friend needs to realise for herself how she would be better off, and as others have said you need to ask her to stop talking about him now, as all that needs to be said by you has been said, you can say no morel

I know this scenario well.

Recently someone expressed concern about a mutual friend and how she was talking about leaving her controlling husband.

I just said to ignore it, because she's been saying it for years and never done anything.

A few weeks later she turned up at an event with said husband in tow- I sometimes wonder who is controlling who!

Wwe have a neice in that sort of a relationship - with added violence. Are you sure that your friend is not subject to violence too?

Not that it helps to know that really.

I d totally agree with Calandergirl and tell her that as she doesn’t want to listen to any advice you don’t want to hear any more moaning until she is wanting to do something about it and then you ll help her any way possible

Nothing you can do. It's so boring and frustrating keep hearing it, if you comment you are in the wrong as they stick up for them. Try saying, on something lighter and talk of something else, detract, but you keep in contact it's the only way.

Just tell her what you’ve told us.

“Please stop talking about him. You know what I think you should do, but if you’re not prepared to listen, then there’s no more to be said about it”.