Stuck

My, personal opinion, after you’ve explained your worries - A definite NO to driving from Leeds to Manchester on M62 in winter, especially.
There are trains and the “assist” service is very helpful (according to friends). There are also coaches.
You haven’t mentioned whether you would be staying overnight but do think of this, even if going by train or coach.
It would be best if you could discuss possibilities with your son and mention your fears.

You are being very wise.
I wish I could find the anti anxiety poem thing that’s states run the dishwasher twice. It sort of explains why these things can be simplified and not to worry.

messaged you.

All of you, thank you so much. I feel a lot better for that. The pressure this year is because of the new house which looks lovely. And I agree that going one way in a day is much more doable. I must practice going further afield.
I suppose my anxiety comes from the fact that I shouldn’t assume they will come to me. This has always been the way at Christmas time.
I think with video links and messenger contact I feel as though I know the new house! As the children’s condition worsens they increasingly don’t know who I am though they remember some things about my house. And Aldom thanks for your comment about a friend who felt the same with aneurysm. its not logical but somehow real. I was diagnosed in 2017 and lockdown didn’t help my tendency not to go far by myself.
I will look more into taxi-ing services. We’re talking about suburbs of Leeds and Manchester , across the Pennines a difficult route though not very far.
Just thank you so much for not telling me I was being ridiculous.

You are not ridiculous, you are being realistic. The M62 is a fast and difficult motorway! Either find a driver if it is within your budget or don't go. I am becoming increasingly worried about motorway driving - especially the M62!!
You have a lot to deal with , your own diognosis and a family with complex needs. My advice is follow your gut , but if you decide to stay at home then do that and do not feel guilty. Good luck.

You don’t say how far away your son and family are. If within a reasonable distance definitely get a taxi. Or a train midway where your son coukd pick you up perhaps. Taxis will cost more on Christmas Day so decide how much you are happy to pay.
Otherwise have a little practice driving nearby and if you do drive yourself keep to the inside lane so you aren’t involved with changing lanes all the time and choose a time when it’s less likely to be busy. If that’s possible!
I am also in my 70 s and feel the same about driving so do understand, but know I need to keep it going so I did a 2 hour mostly motorway drive to a friend recently, staying the night as didn’t want to drive home in the dark and drove back next morning. I was rather pleased with myself.

You are right to not drive there - that is common sense and shows how responsible you are. You are not being ridiculous. When it comes to driving you cannot be too careful.

Is there another means of transport to get you there and back? Could you research local taxi firms and find one that has female drivers? You could then develop a relationship with them if you use them regularly.

I am sorry that your family have such challenges to face and I am guessing that this does not leave them much head space for getting their heads around the challenges that you are facing.

When using the train I have used Passenger Assist - here is the link to the information about it: www.nationalrail.co.uk/help-and-assistance/passenger-assist/
It is brilliant - they carry your luggage - meet you at your carriage - put you in your seat - on one occasion they held a connection for me and were outside my carriage with a wheelchair and whisked me across to the connecting train!

You are being extremely sensible. Given your age and your health ,such a long drive alone would be utterly foolish. Could your son come and pick you up if you paid for the petrol and gave him a bit extra on top?

Crossed posts Sl.

I fully understand why you feel as you do regarding motorway driving. A relative of ours was similarly affected before his aneurism was operated on. He was very afraid of the aneurism bursting whilst driving.
I must add that in time he had a successful outcome following surgery.
If you really want to visit your family and can afford the cost of a taxi that's what I suggest you do. I have a friend who does this. She too has a chronic health condition and has had to give up driving. You should be able to find a lady taxi driver. We have a few where I live.
Wishing you a gentle Christmas whatever you choose.

Some areas have women only taxi services. Perhaps you could find one?

I agree with Doodledog; you are not being ridiculous at all.

Try ringing around the taxi firms in your area and see if any of them have women drivers. A lot do now as women feel safer especially if they're being picked up after a night out.

If you can afford to employ a chauffeur for the day and it's something you want to do then go for it .

No, you are not being ridiculous.

It all sounds very difficult, and in the circumstances I don't think many people would be happy to make the journey.

Is there a train you could take? That seems to me a better idea than getting a chauffeur.