Would you bother??

Once into teenage years, the written thank you stopped. I decided no more cash presents, not for birthdays nor christmas but I offered the three dgc an alternative and the choice was entirely theirs. Their ages are 15, 16, 17

The alternative was a decent lump sum in premium bonds, a one-off to add to their holdings and all future birthday and christmas presents from me would cease. Unsurprisingly, each one readily agreed to the premium bonds. They are accumulating them to have the basis of a house deposit and I bought the initial bonds six years ago

They have all thanked me over and over and tbh I now feel released

I gave up on my nephew and nieces years ago, I never had an acknowledgment from any of them
My children were either not given presents, or they would drop them off months later when they were in the area, they would be completely age inappropriate, bought in sales, no thought given to the recipient, so one year, I just thought I wouldn’t bother.
I actually have regretted it, it’s not the childrens fault their parents are so thoughtless, so my advice would be to go to eighteen.

The minute she ignored me that would be it I’m afraid! No excuse whatsoever so many people pussyfoot around relatives etc! Thank goodness ours thank in either text or when see them.

I gave up with my niece and nephew - gifts were never acknowledged, I never even knew if they had been received.
I don't even send then a Christmas card as I don't have their addresses and have never had them since they left home...
I send my sister a card for Christmas and birthdays and that's it. No gifts, and for the same reason.

Failure to acknowledge any gift is just rude, and there are many ways in which it can be done. Text, Messenger, phone call, or even old-school paper and pen. There isn't any excuse, really.

It may do the young woman a good turn to tell her directly in person or by letter why you are stopping paying her, and how her behaviour is hurtful and bad manners.
The tone of this communication is important so keep it cool and brief.

Wow I think you’re all missing something. OP or DH might have said or done something to upset/offend her without realising. It’s very odd that she actually ignores you when in your company. It’s possible that this is why her dad didn’t get back to you, maybe she told him the problem and he didn’t want to upset/offend you… it’s a possibility.

I’m with salty on this one, 2 chances then that’s it.

I would not encourage her bad manners.

Might she be depressed?

My kids were dyslexic and thank you letters were really difficult. Once they figured out they could take a picture of what they had done with the cash or of them with the gift they could send via text, messenger, email etc with a 'thank you' attached, they were much better. Just a suggestion in case letter writing is too onerous. X

Yes I would stop.. Rude ungrateful and just bad manners.

Buddleja

Might she be depressed?

She might be if she realises the gifts have stopped.

Yes, MickyD, there is that possibility. But it's still bad manners for her not to both say thank you ,and also to tell why she feels offended.
She may have a legitimate reason to feel offended, and if that is the case it's the young woman's moral responsibility to tell Stitch why she feels offended.

And if letter writing is ‘too onerous’, well, pick up the phone and give the relative a quick ‘thank you’ call,

I think if she actually ignores you then I just would not bother, it's plain rude. Difficult to stop gifting I know but does seem to be sensible.
I have a dilemma in that my brother sends gifts to my son and his child. Likewise I have always sent gifts to my brothers son and his child. Never in over 25 yrs have I received a thank you card or Christmas card or any sort of acknowledgement that gift has been received from the son but the really upsetting thing is that he didn't even send a sympathy card when my DH passed away. I really do not want to send a gift this year although will always send to the child but don't want to upset brother.

I gave to nieces and nephews on both sides until they were 18 and also gave a 21st gift. My brothers did the same with kids Xmas and birthday upto 18 then only on big birthdays. However, my DH’s only brother never bothered to give 3 of our children once my MiL took ill, they ignored my middle sons 18 even though it was 2 days after we were told she was terminally ill. They ate the birthday cake and dumpling we’d taken to her whilst she was in hospital. They then had the nerve to ask my DH to give their granddaughter a share of my DH’s inheritance. We’ve never spoken to them since.

Young people do not send thank you letters or cards. I Bought many pieces of clothes, nappies, baby lotion, baby shampoo, etc, loads of it, for my newborn great-grandson and gave an envelope with a substantial sum of money when they visited my home. They didn't bother to open any of the gifts of the envelope. This was October, and I have yet to receive a thank you. I will deal with them in my own way. The baby receives a Christmas gift, but the parents just a greeting card. They also told me that "on this occasion the clothes will be accepted, but you must ask us what we want in the future". There is no point telling my son ( the father of grandson) that he hasn't sent a thank, it's too late and it would only cause trouble. I keep my own counsel.

Don’t bother, it doesn’t take much to just say thank you!

If you transferred the money, did you send a card or otherwise let her know that you'd done so?

Not everyone checks their bank account regularly, so maybe she didn't notice?

Just stop.... no explanation necessary and no guilt necessary.

Obviously your gift was not appreciated or needed.

Why is it that their parents are not making their kids sent a thank you note, or phone or text !! If they can't be bothered, why should you!!

Merry Christmas~~

I agree just stop at 18. A lot of teens nowadays have well paid little jobs my grandson 18 has an after school job with Tesco £12 an hour

I wouldn't bother giving anything.
Interesting to see if she communicates then. Or am I being cynical?

I stopped buying for my grandchildren when they stopped thanking me. Christmas and Birthday. The final nail was one Christmas at my daughter’s . I handed a present to my granddaughter she smiled and put it to on side. I never saw her opening it. I get on really well with the children but won’t be taken for granted.

Reduce this year's amount and stop altogether next year. She should least have the decency to acknowledge you when she sees you. Rude madam. Enjoy spending the money on yourself.

I’d stop now if she’s not had the decency to thank you or acknowledge you.