I have no friends and it doesn't bother me

You're not odd at all, it's how you prefer it.

We live in an age where ''as soon as we're born'' we're shoved in with loads of other people and ordered to make friends but I've always been the lonesome one by choice. I was always the one sitting on the playground wall at school playing with a worm rather that ''making friends'' with other pupils.

I work full time but while I get on well with my colleagues and I have nothing against them I wouldn't classify any of them as my friends.

I'm an animal person and while I don't have any pets with me now I've had loads in the past, I much prefer animals to people!

This post has given me such a boost. I thought I was an odd one out! I have no close friends, well maybe one or two perhaps . But I prefer to keep myself to myself and others at arm's length. I enjoy meeting new people on holiday or when out and about however and am quite sociable - on my own terms!

People often forget that there is a huge difference between ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’

I have always felt different to others in that I find it hard to maintain friendships I’ve had over the years. I start feeling suffocated when people want to chat, or meet up regularly & start to distance myself & of course people drift off.
I’m starting to accept this is just how I am and reading what others have said here, makes me feel better about myself & not a total freak.

I’m the same no family and no friends. I happily chat to neighbours, delivery drivers and checkout staff but other than don’t have anyone to have a coffee or lunch with. Sometimes I think it’s weird but mostly I like being home alone. It’s strange before I retired I had a job in a school where I chatted to staff, parents and children all day and absolutely loved it and would go out for coffee, lunches and parties with colleagues but after I retired that all faded away, perhaps I was overloaded by that past and so have become a bit of a recluse.

I 🤔 if you are happy then that is fine. A lot of people prefer their own company! The problem would be if anything happens to your OH. A have an elderly neighbour whose husband died last year after fifty years together. She is now desperately lonely as she didn't have any friends and finding it very hard to make any new ones at nearly eighty. I do my best but I work full time, have a grandson I love to see, a relative in a home who needs visiting and my own social life! It might be an idea to try and future proof your life by joining a group of like minded people for some sort of activity?

Gosh a lady after my own heart. Like you I have no friends where I live. Just hubby and me. I like my own company am never bored. Friends I have had in the past always turned out to be anything buy.

My Mother always had the radio or television on as she hated a quiet house and felt that all that sound and images of people on a screen allayed loneliness. But then she grew up as one of five.
I was an only one and have never craved company. I am outliving friends and although I have acquaintances I am most content with Husband and Family who are close to me.

I don't have any close friends , when I have they've always let me down so I don't bother cultivating them now to be honest . It's sometimes more trouble than it's worth but it's probably because I've always been more invested in the friendships .
My husband and my children are my best friends and we have joint friends that we see once or twice a year and that's enough .
It's interesting to see how many are the same so no you're not odd at all .

No, I dont think its at all odd.
I started a thread on here a while ago saying how lonely I was having no friends, since moving to a new area. It's been nearly 10 years now. I've accepted a new life for myself. Im more than happy in my own company. Im still working (self employed) part time and go out and about with DH and our puppy at weekends.
One of my dearest friends died at the beginning of the year and I miss her
Sadly another old friend of 30 years seems too busy these days, which is upsetting but I've tried for nearly 2 years to keep friendship going and I've now decided to give up
I was widowed 17 years ago and had a wonderful support from friends.
I sometimes worry how I'll cope if DH goes before me but heyho time will tell.
I still think covid changed us

If you’re odd, then so am I, OP! I have people I meet up with during the week in a couple of groups I go to, but although we get on famously, I wouldn’t class them as friends in the proper sense of the word. I am gregarious by nature and if I didn't do this, I would talk to very few people in the week outside my family. All the people we knew and saw regularly when we were working have died. I have two long standing friends from our days in the military but we are constrained by distance from meeting these days. Phones and the internet are our saviour. DH was never one to make new friends, or join things. He was happy for it to be “just us mice” and so was I but suddenly there is only one of you and you find yourself having to make connections again, which is hard going when you get older. Like others have said on here, there are some lovely people on Gransnet, a few of whom, by long and regular acquaintance, I truly count as friends. I’ve met all of them at least once and even though distance prevents us from seeing each other we are in touch regularly and there is a true affinity. They have all saved my sanity a time or two over the years.

How are you going to feel if your OH dies before you? (likely given that he’s quite a lot older than you.)
I’m single, very independent and like my own company but need human connection with people who care about me. My social battery gets drained quite quickly though so I need plenty of alone time to recharge.

Karma, I have great admiration for your zeal and zest for life!

Dogwalkingnana

What is the GM thread?

It is the friendly Good Morning thread started by Mick every morning.

www.gransnet.com/forums/chat/1342217-Good-Morning-Thursday-7th-November-2024

Good for you Sueboowoo, it takes a certain type of person to be as content as you are. I am similar, happy and content in my own skin and very happy with my own thoughts and living in silence. Never bored and always something aspirational to do, to look forward to doing

The big change came to me when I was very suddenly widowed but I accepted it as part of life and I adapted. I have just widened my aspirational field and taken on an allotment so am very busy whilst being outdoors in nature

After a lifetime of business, eldest of several siblings, married with children and energy- giving both at work and beyond. Having this time to myself is truly a gift and enables me to live in the moment. Rather a beautiful thing to do, to be able to encompass, in the winter of my life

My siblings and my children are so caring and also happy that I am not searching for anything, or anyone, to lean on

Having no friends may not bother you now but you might need some in the future.

What is the GM thread?

I am another one with no friends. I'm quite happy on my own, enjoy my own company and the freedom to just do as I wish. Occasionally, I feel the need for the company of another human being, but most of the time, I'm content with my pets.
Many of us have had bad experiences with people and have decided that it's just not worth bothering with folks.
There is one thing I would like to add......please don't feel sorry for those of us who are alone. It could be our choice.

So long as you feel happy and content, who cares ? You enjoy life on your terms.

SueBooWoo, I don't think you are odd at all.
I have many acquaintances, but no longer have close friends. I have always been a bit of a loner, lacking in self esteem and finding it difficult to initiate friendships, for fear of rejection.

However, I still miss two of my closest friends, who died a number of years ago. They left a huge gap in my life.

The dynamics of my friendship groups changed, when I became unwell and had to give up my career. You can only turn down invitations so many of times, before people stop asking you.
My fault entirely, but I had neither the inclination nor energy, to socialise and they didn't grasp how unwell or fragile I had become. I was very good at covering up.
Feeling embarrassed at how feeble and frail I was, I didn't
want that to define me, nor for them to feel sorry for me, so I withdrew from socialising. My mental health was not good and I was angry at the unfairness and suddenness of it all.

What did affect me badly was that a supposedly good friend from work ditched me, when I was no longer of any use to her. We had been friends for over twenty years, but DH said he had always suspected that of her. It had never crossed my mind.

On a positive note, GN has given me an opportunity to meet some lovely people, virtually and in real life. Who would have thought that at my age, I would be become friends with a group of people I had met online. It totally goes against everything I taught my pupils about Internet safety. 😉
My daughter thought I was going to be abducted or worse, when I told her that I was going to my first meet up and she begged me not to go. 😂
It took a lot for me to take that first step, but it was the beginning of a new stage in my life.

True friendship is indeed a precious gift. My best friend is DH, despite what I say about him on the GM thread.😉

We're all different. It's great that you are perfectly content. But it's not quite as easy for those who live alone.

I quite understand why people want/need friends.

flappergirl

I have no friends or family to speak of, other than my adult son and it certainly didn't bother me one jot until I was widowed. My DH and I were each other's best friends. We chatted and laughed, shared the same world views and had a very happy, easy going relationship. What I would kindly say OP is that you might find it less satisfying should you be widowed. I know it sounds ridiculous but I didn't realise how much the rug would be pulled from under me when he died. The house is silent, no more conversation or laughter, nobody to talk to about my work or my day. Nobody to go out for a meal with. Nobody to go on holiday with. Nobody to share anything with really. It just hadn't occurred to me.

I was thinking that, too.
It's easy to choose not to see people, but when the hours, days, weeks starch out in front of you with nobody to even notice you, it's quite a different story, I think.

I have a handful of friends who I meet up with on an almost weekly basis. Things would be lonely without them. Whilst married, my husband and I don’t really communicate, sometimes no more than 10 words a day. I do have “conversations” with my cats.

flappergirl and others that must be very hard.

I never had a sister, and my lovely brothers have both died too.