Does anyone still miss their parents?

I’m 69 and was an only child. My parents have been gone a long time - 32 year and 17 years respectively - but I still miss them. I can still see women in the street, who look like Mum did. My Dad was a ‘character’ and we often quote some of the things he used to say. My young granddaughters even know about Grandad Peter and it can bring me to tears when I hear them speak of him.
We were a political household and I still say “I need to phone my Dad” to discuss events of the day.

Oh yes Lacrepescule, I’m 75yrs now, but I miss my wonderful mother terribly. She’s never too far from my thoughts. The tears have started again reading this thread.

LaCrepescule

Oh thank you for sharing with me 🙏 I’m sad for those of you who don’t have good memories. I suppose it just seems strange that it’s taken 9 months to grieve for mum but grief is rarely linear.
Thinking of you all.

Grief doesnt go away but it mellows in to "a new reality" and each of us create a life in that new reality. 💐

This will seem awful but I hardly knew my parents. I had siblings 15, 14 and 3 years older than me. Parents in lare 40s when I was born. They both died when I was in early 30s. I left home at 19 years old. My two oldest siblings were more like parents to me though they both married before I was at secondary school. I do visualise them but have no recollection of any participation of any event with my parents.

On the whole yes, my parents were 17 and 19 when they had me and my sister was born the following year, so very young

Yes I miss my lovely Mam and Dad every single day of my life. I'm 68 with a lovely husband and 4 children and 4 grandchildren . Dad died of Prostate cancer in 2014 , Mam of heart problems 4 years later.
My world is an emptier place without them .

I lost my dad when I was 20. He died far too young. My mum was a widow for longer than she'd been married and died age 81. That was a fair few years ago and although she didn't have dementia she was beginning to struggle with memory etc so I was grateful to have been spared the sadness of losing the person while they were still physically here. My DiL recently lost her grandmother who'd had dementia for a long time. For her family it was a mix of huge relief tinged with sadness for the person they lost years earlier.
I wish my mum had lived to see the adults my children have become, and the greatgrandchildren she never knew, and like others, I wish I had asked her about things when she was alive. There were lots of things in the family history that I wish I'd written down. I always assumed I'd remember everything she'd told me but some of the memories have faded.

I had to think about this . Mum had me quite young and died before reaching 60 . We used to talk about using our pensioner bus passes to go on adventures together once I retired . She
should have been able to enjoy energetic shopping trips with her grand daughter . Now I am 15 years older than her I seem to picture her as a sister rather than my Mum .

No. Treasure your lovely memories. My father was abusive, both emotionally and physical and my mother was totally under his thumb

I find it It comes at unexpected moments . I don’t think of them constantly but I’ll see something in a shop and think mum would have liked that or wish she could share a walk I’m on , or I’ll hear a joke and think dad would have laughed . I keep them alive in my children’s minds by reminding them of times they spent together which were sadly too few .

I miss my mother who died aged 78 in 2000, but not my father (died 69 in 1980) as he was a b*****d. I still feel angry and upset with him.
Only this morning, I saw an advertisement for a production I know my mother would enjoy and imagined booking the tickets and picking her up to take her.

I don’t think it “makes us more sad than it should”. Grief is the price we pay, and in my mother’s case, it is correct and proper.

I am fortunate enough to still have my Mum, but my Dad died just shy of his 78th birthday in 2018. I often think about him, of course, and it would be great if he could still be here, but the reality is that he died after a relatively short time of lung cancer and he was never going to recover. I would not have wanted to prolong his suffering.

My dad died after his 3rd heart attack but I don't miss him that much. I was broken hearted at his funeral as I cried for what might have been and now can never be if that makes sense
My mum died suddenly the day she was supposed to be released from hospital with all tests for cancer clear. Developed a blocked artery in her leg and had a massive heart attack in the premed room before emergency surgery in 1999. I watched her die and held her hand.
I miss her very much and talk to her frequently. Never see or hear anything though. I'm on the fence about the afterlife.

My father died in February this year. I’m very glad I was able to dump everything and hare down the country in time to be there to say goodbye. Although he was almost 90, disabled, very frail and ready to go I miss him terribly. Only today I started crying on my way to work.
My mother just turned 90 and is in rude health for someone who we thought we were going to lose a year ago.

I’m 79. Ny father died in 1968 when he was 73 and I was 23. My mother died in 1986 aged 76, I was 41. I loved them both dearly. I have been married for 59 years and have two daughters. I am STILL heartbroken. A reminder, a thought and they’re at the front of my mind. It doesn’t go away.

I still talk to my parents even though Dad died in 1966 and Mum in 1974, I was 61/2 and 15 so it’s been almost 59 years since Dad and 50 since Mum. It’s not something I ever got over, but just learned to live with the pain. Thankfully I still have my 2 brothers so can lean on them on the two anniversarys

My parents were decent people and did their best according to their values - but they were always more important to each other than we ( their children) were to them.I shall not forget my mother saying in older age' the happiest days of my life were before the two of you were born - and after you left home.'

I do not have bad memories, for which I am grateful. But the people I miss most of all now are my dear grandmothers and those (unmarried) great aunts I was close to. They were better at showing their love, giving me quality time ( I did not see any of them very often due to geographical distance) and sharing their ideas and interests .

I wish I had told them I loved them but I never said it. It was never said by either of them to me. I think they did love me but that generation wasn’t demonstrative. I’d give anything to hear about their early lives and Dad’s war stories. But I miss my grandparents more. I knew all of them. They were wonderful and will be in my heart forever. Their lives were very hard having lived through 2 world wars. Oh to be able to talk to them again.

I know exactly how you feel @LaCrepescule. My dad died over forty years ago and I still miss him - especially at Christmas, it was a time of year he loved. My mum is nearly 94 now and lives with us. She’s in the later stages of vascular dementia and over the last few weeks is spending more and more time in bed, so I know I’m not going to have her for very much longer, and am dreading the day she passes, although if I’m honest, for her sake, I hope it won’t be too long because it’s a terrible disease. I know I’ll be devastated when it happens.

Just wish I had listened more and would love to have one day with them, we take so much for granted.

I miss my Mum and Dad so very much. They were the best, they worked their fingers to the bone in the shop and bakehouse Dad got up at 3am every day apart from Sunday to light the ovens. They bought me everything I ever wanted and I was a brat I don't think I ever appreciated anything till it was nearly too late. Dad had a bad stroke and died in 1995 but I did go to see him before he died and thanked him for everything and that I loved him, I hope he understand, we were very close when I was little. I looked after Mum for 18 months before she died and I thanked her all the time for what they both had done for me and apologized. I've never known such an unselfish loving couple.Mum just wanted to be with Dad she missed and loved him so much she got her wish six years later. I'll miss them forever and would love one more conversation with them both. I wonder if Dad still sings Daddy's Little Girl in Heaven ❤️🙏💙

I was loved by my parents and loved them dearly.

It doesn't mean I wasn't exasperated by them sometimes (and vice versa) - surely the very best and most loving relationships are not always a perfect joy.

I suppose I have "waves" of missing them. For example - when my (lovely) Mother-in-law remarks on life "as it was" when she was a girl I hear my mum speaking. When someone talks about parents - or some subject that mine were interested in (fashion, textiles, milinery, floristy, cake decorating, sewing...) I feel the tears...

Ordinarily I don't think of them a lot - just a "regular" amount (whatever that is). I think, "Dad would have loved this" "I wish Mum could see this" or... if I'm feeling a bit selfish I know deep down that they would have done "better".
🙄

I wonder if you miss them (day-by-day) more if they are part of your life into "old" age?
Both my parents died when I was in my 30s. I was married with 5 young children.
I have lived without them longer than I ever had them.

This sums my own situation up entirely. So wish I’d also taken more interest in their interests too as they have now become my own interests. I was very dismissive of them when I was young and naive. I think of them now much more than I did when they were alive. Took them for granted and miss them dearly now they aren’t here.

My mum died 34 years ago, a horrible, lingering death from drug resistant TB - she was just 50.
I still struggle over her suffering and loss and I miss her humour, her affection and kindness - she saw the best in everyone.
My father died ten years later, again, not peacefully or easy and I miss him terribly.
We spoke everyday, he was incredibly funny and intelligent. He was honourable and gentle.....I'm very, very lucky in that my son is so like him and also that he was my father.

Oh yes , more than I can say. they both died in their mid-50s within a year of each other. Both sudden and unexpected. I have children coming up to the age of my parents' death now. I was lucky to have wonderful parents and I am lucky to have an amazing husband and children and grandchildren but in a quiet private moment I sometimes still shed a tear for my parents.